I have just had a closer look at the viz , Evil. My mistake-I left a selfie on it.
I know where you are going lol, into the devil’s lair. Fareham depot??
I did 12 months for Palm it and halve it. I feel your pain.
m1cks:
Don’t forget your Aldi/Lidl carrier bag with the colour worn off due to over use and you cannot possibly take a vehicle out without a working cigarette lighter as your couldn’t find your way out the yard without your [zb] nav.
A bit like a tacho roll but more important I always carry at least 2 working lighters in case one fails to work when needed (every 20 mins or so).
eagerbeaver:
I have just had a closer look at the viz , Evil. My mistake-I left a selfie on it.I know where you are going lol, into the devil’s lair. Fareham depot??
I did 12 months for Palm it and halve it. I feel your pain.
No comment, As I feel there is some sort of code, where I can stand up in court and say; “No, I did not tell anyone who I was working for!” 
And until that comment, I wasn’t feeling any pain. But as I read it, a memory returned of a post i read on here, that if i recall correctly stated, the yard was tight when crammed. (Or something like that…) But hey, if i roll up to things slow enough, and just push things out the way, jobs a good an! 
I’m only on part time, a few days a week, and that suits me, as I can look elsewhere in between…
It’s all about getting experience, and if I’m asked in the furture, I’ll say how long I’ve been driving in weeks, and not in days! 
Another agency are talking to me about dray work (right on my doorstep), but I would assume this to be harder with more lifting?
But what do i know, I’m an agency Newbie!
chicane:
Agency limp, rugby, 40yrs being kicked by cattle cattle and crashing motorbikes tends to do that
That’s a very modest statement. You’d get much more respect if you told the truth about how you got your limp that one time you stormed the embassy balcony.
m1cks:
chicane:
Agency limp, rugby, 40yrs being kicked by cattle cattle and crashing motorbikes tends to do thatThat’s a very modest statement. You’d get much more respect if you told the truth about how you got your limp that one time you stormed the embassy balcony.
yep 
Evil8Beezle:
As a point of interest, does anyone know the most damage/cost someone has caused on their first day?
Not quite what you’re asking but picked up 3 parking tickets out of 4 drops in London for P&H 8/9 years ago, at the other drop some looney tried to push one of the full cages down a hill, fortunately (on that solitary occasion) the wheels were knackered.
Ok, I’m feeling the pain now lads. Cheers!!! 
Keep em coming!
m1cks:
chicane:
Agency limp, rugby, 40yrs being kicked by cattle cattle and crashing motorbikes tends to do thatThat’s a very modest statement. You’d get much more respect if you told the truth about how you got your limp that one time you stormed the embassy balcony.
I like that…
I’ve heard bollards are a poi on an agency drivers sat nav 
Vid - How pays for the tickets?
Thankfully I have cage experience as a picker in my youth, you gotta get a wobble on or you’re not going fast enough! Thank God for ■■■■■■ kit!
FFS Jay. I’ve just dropped my bloody cake laughing at that.
OVLOV JAY:
I’ve heard bollards are a poi on an agency drivers sat nav
Well let’s hope I don’t miss any then!
For my first day, I’m apparently going to have a drivers mate who can’t drive!
The plan obviously, is to guide me around my route & help with the manual stuff.
(as well as assessing me I’d expect…)
But I’ve been pondering what’s the most shocking thing i can say to them at the start!
You know, something like: “My instructors were great, their out of hospital now!”
Or maybe: “We’ll be fine working together, you’re not my type!”
Again, any suggestions 
Evil8Beezle:
For my first day, I’m apparently going to have a drivers mate who can’t drive!But I’ve been pondering what’s the most shocking thing i can say to them at the start!
Ah, drivers mates that don’t drive… last one kept moaning because I ignored the satnav sometimes, but pointless keep trying to explain the truck was a tad bigger than their pushbike… 
Then you get the drivers mates that want you to rush around so they can get back early, but you take your time as it’s still early, you are hourly paid and don’t want to sit in a forty minute diesel queue by arriving back too soon.
Best one to upset the drivers mate, is to show him how to use the parking break (gently), to stop the truck just in case you faint again. Either that or put an empty paper bag between the seats and tell him you suffer from travel sickness sometimes.
If your that paranoid about wearing a new vest,put it through the wash to get the creases out,other wise grin and bare it
good luck tomorrow 
Evil8Beezle:
Vid - How pays for the tickets?Thankfully I have cage experience as a picker in my youth, you gotta get a wobble on or you’re not going fast enough! Thank God for [zb] kit!
I don’t know what their practice is now but back then you just handed the tickets in at the end of the run and they immediately appealed them and paid the ones they didn’t get quashed. A lot of shops out there with no (accessible) rear access requiring a front door delivery with no loading bay, frequently with a bus stop being the only sensible (from a driver’s point of view) place to stop to unload. Traffic wardens hanging around waiting for delivery vehicles so that they could write the tickets before you’ve turned the engine off!
It wasn’t you pulling a blue tri-axle shopping trolley, doing a u-turn in Bank Intersection last night, was it, Evil?
I was cycling home about 2130hrs and came up behind him on the o/s. He was wearing a shiny new hi-viz - I could see the reflectives picking up the flash of my lights in his mirrors. I think he tried to wave me through as he was part way through the turn - letting me turn right as he blocked traffic, rather than leave me stranded in the junction, but there was no way I was going to go for that!
Still, nice to know my lights are bright enough to attract attention from 60ish feet away.
Evil8Beezle:
For my first day, I’m apparently going to have a drivers mate who can’t drive!
The plan obviously, is to guide me around my route & help with the manual stuff.
(as well as assessing me I’d expect…)But I’ve been pondering what’s the most shocking thing i can say to them at the start!
You know, something like: “My instructors were great, their out of hospital now!”
Or maybe: “We’ll be fine working together, you’re not my type!”
Again, any suggestions
I find most males will usually bring the conversation round to poop or ■■■■ eventually so a good opening gambit to save time would be “Is your wife into tribbing”.
I have just checked my old agency bag and amongst the usual parafinalia I have found my old limp if you should wish to borrow it before yours turns up.
Seriously though good luck with your first outing.
General IZD:
tri-axle shopping trolley
You saying I’m second class? 
And yes pal, that was me. Some bellend with a bloody laser light was shinning it in my mirror! I had an epileptic fit, fell into a coma, apparently was rushed to hospital, and I’ve just woken up face down as a male orderly "adjusts the back of my arseless gown!
So I’m sorry if you misinterpreted my epileptic fit, as me waving you through, please accept my apologises!
Thanks Dave, and it’s sad to say, but I’ve just had to google what tribbing means! - I’m not sure if I’m innocent, or naive…
As for the drivers mate being married, I’ve got to ask; Is that really likely?
And cheers for the offer of a limp, but due to a vicious shark attack i had many years back, I’ve already got one, as I’ve been agency before!