Waitin for a load at sainburys tamworth when a kent based subbie driver approached me in the waitin room as he was loading up for sainburys dartford…started to talk about what his real job was…i looked at his appearance and thought “why me”.he had an orange boiler suit.cream rigger boots and a hiviz vest that was covered in graphite grease…also he had ginger hair and a ginger beard…personally ive got nothing against anyone but the storyline got more bull in it than a sewage farm.he then starts tellin me he works for vosa on weekends and how he pulls the foerigners over on the m25 and how he fines them on the spot.i then azked how he can do 5 days hgv driving and then work the next 2 days for vosa because its 7 days work…told me he was excempt from prosecution as he had permission fron vosa head man…i did ask him where the “wims” are on the m25 and he looked at me and didnt hav a clue what i was on about…i explaind to him what they was and then said “oh them”.so to out do me he said he uses a vosa motorbike with a infrared sensor stuck to the front wheelarch pointing siddways so as he is overtaking a foerign reg vehicle he can see if its overweight by scanning with the sensor by pointing at the wheels off the unit or trailer…i ■■■■■■ myself but he fully belived in himself.its a white daf 105 and a blue curtain he drives but the orange and ginger give him away…look out for him pls. coming to an rdc by you…also he does the blood and donor emergency hispeed deliverys from london to scotland in 2.5 hrs in his souped up mondeo the mclaren merc team prepared for him…my time went quick at this rdc listening to him…class
I am so glad I do bulk tanker work and don`t have to put up with this rdc bull day in day out.Why oh why do sad little idiots have to spout such bull. Do they honestly think that anyone,besides themselves, actually believe it.
I can tolerate a full on nutter like him there good value. Its the stobart are going skint 10 quid a turn on the legs ones that hack me off.
Il talk to anyone over a coffee if the conversation is good and they seem decent people but my patience has worn thin over the years with these billy bulls and they normally get told to go talk to someone else.
To the op your a better man than me i cant listen to this type of b***ks without feeling the need to tell them to fk off and stop irritating me
The bull some people come out with is unbelievable really.
Excellent elcamino, paragraphs next time please.
Did he tell you about his previous career in “the service” , being second through the embassy window and maybe missing that fateful ferry disaster.
Certainly entertaining, but possibly not in a good way.
Liked the story of the motorbike. Don’t know of any areas using those, possibly came from an April 1st photo in the internal email newsletter showing a BMW complete with panniers, lights and Battenberg colours, convinced quite a few that we were actually going to get them for stopping duties.
Infrared weight sensors about as accurate at weight detection as a SCUD missile.
I cannot see the Chief Exec allowing 5 days driving and 2 days duty. From what I remember of my contract of employment it was specifically forbidden to undertake any other transport related activity. I got an almighty lecture from my line manager when I was seen getting out of a Magnum at the Bristol HQ. What the ‘reporter’ (sorry ‘grass’) forgot to add was I’d got out of the passenger side after getting a lift down to Bristol and thereby saving the organisation quite a bit in travel expenses. Yet they were quite happy for me to drive the exhibition truck back North 
In retrospect think I’d have enjoyed the chat at the RDC.
Enough paragraphs?
PS He forgot to say he is also Father Christmas.
Hiya the old days was good no phones to squeal. one night this chap told me how he’d turned the
air intake round on his Gardner engine so air got in faster making a Turbo idea. i just said don’t talk crap.
he said yes, i said NO. clear off… he stayed for 2 seconds to long as it took a second to clout him.
of he trotted never come back. he told everyone the black mark on his face was where he’d
crashed heads in the swimming pool with another swimmer. can’t do it nowadays but it dose work.
Funny thing is you’ll always come across some bill bull jackanory in every walks of life…they like to be the centre of attention…but in fact they have a very limited friendship circle… coz ppl see through the bull…
Personally I’ll talk to anyone who is polite and well mannered, someone who’s is boring, over bearing and talks down to me like a thicko, I’m the sort of person that quite easily tell them to ■■■■ off to the planet orb
Thing the mental health officer quoted to say " I can be short tempered and my inter-reaction skills where somewhat lacking… but I am working on them honesty 
elcamino:
he was loading up for sainburys dartford
I hope he’s not booked in for 11.00 tomorrow 
(cos i am)
matt79:
Did he tell you about his previous career in “the service” , being second through the embassy window and maybe missing that fateful ferry disaster.
Matt, Matt, Matt, he can’t have been second through the embassy window…cos I was And I was on that ferry, in fact I only just made it to the RDC on time to get coned off for the night by the police…phewww, what a day that was
apologies guys as my textin is getting worse I should have used paragraphs an all…but I meet drivers like this every day…I like to know how other people live and I know being out all week you do go a bit mad!..the thing with his story didn’t bother me much as I hear all the gossip from companys taking over from one another to new legislation bought in from “mymatetoldemedotcom” but the remains of his last nights pot noodle with bits off sweetcorn that was twyned in his ginger beard had me intrigued!
i may not have a fantastic life like as some others swishing from eu country to asia in there trucks but I do like think “■■■■ me I am normal”…wetherspoons Friday here I come!
nothing worse than getting stuck next to a tom pepper who smells like a chip pan and wont shut up about running bent for the irish, the crap i can tolerate as i can take the ■■■■ out of that, but the smells 
, and you always find its in one of those musical chair waiting rooms were there is 4 seats and 10 drivers, i just take my chances on ban and hide in the cab
Darrenb:
PS He forgot to say he is also Father Christmas.
No - 'cos that’s ME!
Steve
I’ve posted this elsewhere but I suppose it belongs here,
Superb, I love these tales.
During my cpc course one driver smuggles pallets of booze through customs, where does he hide it? On the bulkhead of his trailer, because customs never check there! The story gets better, he did once however get busted…so he slid the custom officer a wad of cash, it was a great deal due to the fact him and his mate was sleeping with the officers wife!! I kid you not!!!
Let’s hear some more.
3300John:
Hiya the old days was good no phones to squeal. one night this chap told me how he’d turned the
air intake round on his Gardner engine so air got in faster making a Turbo idea. i just said don’t talk crap.
he said yes, i said NO. clear off… he stayed for 2 seconds to long as it took a second to clout him.
of he trotted never come back. he told everyone the black mark on his face was where he’d
crashed heads in the swimming pool with another swimmer. can’t do it nowadays but it dose work.
You punched someone because they told told you about some air filter thing/mod on a lorry?? Hate to meet you when you’re really annoyed
Id rather sit with somebody who talks bollox and switch off,its better than sat with someone who is misserable on downright ignorant and just grunts when spoke to ,or like whats been said them who stink are the worst