Hello to you all.
I’ve been loving all your stories, learning technical stuff and thinking there must b e just the odd story that might make us all chuckle.
I started in road transport by crazing my dad to take me with him in the 50’s and was a “second man” during my school holidays in the 60’s.
The drivers then were the the sort of character who ( when it was safe ) would show off.
Sharing a cab in a Mk 3 or Mk 5 AEC would have been a strain if you couldn’t have a laugh.
To start off - My first trip with one driver was in a Mk 3 AEC 8 wheeler and drag to Liverpool from Diss. Aubrey was Quiet till we got to the roundabout on the A11 - A45 split at Newmarket Racecourse and shouted " I love roundabouts" Went round it 4 times as fast as the old girl
would take it.
That kind of man would horrify the manager of today, but eff it where is life without a laugh. Just as long as nobody gets hurt.
One from me.
I was legging it up the road one morning and it was persisting it down with rain.The old A580.
A jam sandwich pulled up and a Scouse Uniform yelled ( they don’t speak) "what the ferrk ere youse dewin ere kid?
I was soaked. Nearly in tears.
I said. " you see that green and yellow lorry up there in the lay-by?
Yep.
Well he threw me out about a Mile back cos I ■■■■■■. They gave me a lift to the wagon with a caution, “No ■■■■■■■ in our motor”
Then they gave the driver a right bollocking for travelling without a second man.
Bet the Harries etal of the transport industry can beat that. Jim
Good one ROF
I heard one about the trailer mate who jumped out of his cab going up woodhead in crawler, climbed the ropes of the loaded lorry in front and appeared in the screen of the driver and nearly killed him by shock.
I was parked up with another from our lot one night and we had a few and met some friendly ladies. He told me next day 50 miles up the road he backed up, rolled the shutter up and there stood this young lady he vaguely recognised. Gave her £10 to get home .
Thanks for the reply mate. Jim
Our fitters once put a tailors dummy into the sleeping bag on the bunk of one of the 112’s,the driver (now no longer with us RIP) got up into his cab early one Monday morning and as he was filling his tacho card in he “sort of” glanced around and nearly crapped himself when he saw this blond head sticking out of his sleeping bag Arrrggg!!he bailed out of the cab and phoned one of the traffic managers,he wouldn’t get back in until the manager got to the depot and “dealt” with the incident !! There was ■■■■■■■ hell to play with the workshop staff when they came into work that morning,but hilarious all the same ! Sad PS though to this tale,many years later this same driver took ill on Gordano Services and he was found dead in the bunk of the Scania he had at the time.Cheers Bewick.
Hello Dennis, could you please re tell the tale about the horse and the M.O.T. testing centre for anybody who missed it the first time around. 
Back in the sixties, Hansons had a depot on Slack Road in Blackley, Manchester. All the drivers became very unhappy when the management decided to put a clocking on machine on the garage wall. They never did find out who tied the rope from the clock onto the back of a Thames Trader and the driver said that he knew nothing about until the gateman at I.C.I. pointed it out to him.
Regards Steve.
jmc jnr:
Hello to you all.
I’ve been loving all your stories, learning technical stuff and thinking there must b e just the odd story that might make us all chuckle.
I started in road transport by crazing my dad to take me with him in the 50’s and was a “second man” during my school holidays in the 60’s.
The drivers then were the the sort of character who ( when it was safe ) would show off.
Sharing a cab in a Mk 3 or Mk 5 AEC would have been a strain if you couldn’t have a laugh.
To start off - My first trip with one driver was in a Mk 3 AEC 8 wheeler and drag to Liverpool from Diss. Aubrey was Quiet till we got to the roundabout on the A11 - A45 split at Newmarket Racecourse and shouted " I love roundabouts" Went round it 4 times as fast as the old girl
would take it.
That kind of man would horrify the manager of today, but eff it where is life without a laugh. Just as long as nobody gets hurt.
Jim
similar tale … next door neighbour ,a couple o years older than me and a reputation for being a barmpot got a job on a local taxi firm using London cab type about the same time that the town got its first (mini) roundabout .anyway the other drivers convinced him that it was impossible to roll one.so he decided to try it out. round and round he went getting a little faster every circuit,pipping the horn and waving and generally attracting a bit of an audience who cheered and egged him on.eventually he managed to tip it .everything went quiet for a while then he appeared head first from the drivers window to receive a resounding cheer. …they sacked him for some reason 
mushroomman:
Hello Dennis, could you please re tell the tale about the horse and the M.O.T. testing centre for anybody who missed it the first time around.
That story has done the rounds in our local Pub, it’s hilarious. I just wish I could do it justice.
Over to you Bewick…
W
A horse and an MOT centre? What? Jim.
Hi, All
Like many on here I travelled a few miles with my father . When he worked for Harold Woods I remember him having an old wooden cabbed Atkinson.On the front of the bonnet was a brass plate with the logo “Do not engage overdrive below 28mph” . One night whilst plodding up Cross o’ the Cliff hill out of Lincoln we passed a pushbike , before we got to the top the pushbike passed us , and yes he was ( the pushbike ) still pedalling! Oh,the power of them old Atki’s!!
Cheers Bassman
OK Alex,this is a true story,because I was there and the horse was at the other end of the lead rein !
The Players---- The horse,My Birthday (stable name Bertie!)
Yours truly,
Testing Station staff.
Gullible driver/fitter of vehicle for test.
This episode happened in the mid 80’s,as my hobby was Harness Racing and I stabled the race horses in part of our 3:5 acre depot as they wern’t allowed to interfere with the running of my haulage business.Although I had a couple of very capable girls training and looking after my horses I did never-the less take a close interest in their training regime.So,when I was in the depot at times ,during lunchtime,their was nothing more that a stabled race horse liked better than hailf an hour grazing on sweet organic grass,it was a tonlc and not an inconsiderable help towards the success we enjoyed over the years we ran the horses.Anyway,our neighbours were the Milnthorpe MOT test station and around the building was growing the sweetest,organic,grass you could find.As I had a first class relationship with the testing station staff,at lunchtime there was no problem,I could walk into the site and let the horse,on a lead rein, have his lunch for half an hour! So this day,during lunchtime,I’m stood in my pin stripe “whistle"near to the main door with Bertie having a real old munch of “doctor green” and this guy pulls up in a little motor (a D800 IIRC),he leans out of the window and says " All reet mate”,so I says,I’m next so back up a bit !! He says,“what you here for then” I says,“for a brake test on the horse mate” !!So he jumps out of his motor with his clip board and without further ado disappears into the station.The next thing I hear was the echo of manic laughter from the cavernous environs of the station,and then almost all the staff in the station (the Manager included) came rolling out of the door splitting their sides with hilarious laughter !! I Kid you not,this bloke had gone in to the hatch and asked how it was possible to give a horse a brake test !!If the look me and Bertie got from this driver/fitter could have killed,I wouldn’t be here to tell the the tale now !! Priceless but true.Cheers Dennis.
Classic. Thank you Mr Bewick. Jim (in tears aching)
Great old tales. I used to post my old adventures on here years ago as old trucking tales, if you do a search you may find them, I do not have the patience to do it myself
that is absolutely priceless dennis , i wish i could have been there . i wonder how many free pints you’ve had on the back of that tale ? good job i had put my brew down before i read it , cheers , dave
The driver of a Mandator was in the garage one day when I was finishing its service. There was a note asking for the windscreen washers to be fixed.
It was common for the non-return valve on the end of the tube in the reservoir situated in the cab to clog up. My “fix” was to stick it in my mouth and blow-■■■■-blow-■■■■ tillit cleared. Simples! He waited till I’d finished then in a loud voice said “I couldn’t be bothered to get out in the cold last night so I pixxed in there! Ha Ha Ha” The rest of the fitters had a good laugh and he went off to tell everybody else.
He was batting up the A17 when it came on to rain and he used his washers and his screen turned into a Kaleidoscope.
I’d accidently filled the pot with Diesel. Well he disturbed my concentration. Jim.
