Be carefull what you wish for

08:49
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe’ with a full-grown emu behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The truckie says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a coke,’ and turns to the emu, ‘What’s yours?’
‘Sounds great, I’ll have the same,’ says the emu.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order ‘That will be $9.40 please,’ and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a coke.’
The emu says, ’ Sounds great, I’ll have the same.’

Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. ‘The usual?’ asks the waitress.

‘No, it’s Friday night, so I’ll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,’ says the man…
’ Same for me,’ says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, ‘That will be $32.62.’

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. ‘Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?’

‘Well, love’ says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.’

‘That’s brilliant!’ says the waitress. ‘Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!’

‘That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.’ says the man.
Still curious the waitress asks, ‘What’s with the bloody emu?’

The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big a r s e and long legs, who agrees with everything I say!

Splendid :slight_smile:

Brilliant. :smiley:

Croc farm in Oz. Trainer opens jaws of croc inserts his jewels and slowly closes the jaws. When the jaws have been clamped shut for five minutes he bashes the croc on the head with hammer and the croc fully extends his jaws and the trainer is unharmed. He turns to the audience and says. " anyone brave enough to try it?" Little old lady steps forward and says." I’ll give it a a go,but go easy with that hammer!"

Proxy server hiccup.

Geezer finds a magic lamp, rubs it, genie appears, gives him one wish. So he makes his wish, a tiny little bloke about a foot high appears playing a piano. Geezer turns on the genie “you deaf prat, I didn’t ask for a 12inch pianist!”
Bernard

Prince Charles is rooting around the wine cellar at Windsor Castle where he finds a particularly old vintage. Immediately upon opening it, a genie slithers out and duly offers to grant him one wish. Ol Charlies chuffed to bits with this development, as he accidentally backed his Range Rover over his mum`s favourite corgi that morning, squashing it flat.
He asks the genie if he will bring the corgi back to life, as her maj will be upset and furious if she finds out. The genie examines the splattered, furry pancake that was once the dog and says to Charles, “This is completely ruined - best thing is to just chuck it in the bin. Think of another wish”. Disappointed, Charles thinks for a moment then says “well then, will you make Camilla beautiful, as the press are always making fun of how she looks”.
The genie pauses, scratches his head, then says “on second thoughts, go get that f*****g dog out of the bin”. :slight_smile: