THE CARDIOLOGIST’S FUNERAL This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral…
A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he had worked for most of his life.
A huge heart, covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter.
When all eyes stared at him, he said,
“I’m so sorry… I was just thinking of my own funeral? I’m a gynaecologist.”
Not religious or prissy are we?
The old Pope was lying in state. The queue to pay their last respects was a mile long.
Two elderly nuns were shuffling along and struck up a conversation.
1st nun “I knew him rather well you know when I was a novice”
2nd nun “Me too, he used to show me his todger and if I let him put it in me I would live forever”
1st nun “He was a lying bamstick - He told me it was Gabriel’s trumpet and I blew it for 30 years”
St Peter was guarding the Pearly gates one day
Jesus was wandering round and enquired as to how things were.
Peter replied that thing were getting on top and he could do with a bit of time off.
Jesus said “go on then . I’ll sort this lot out - you go down cloud 9 and have a few jars”
There’s a knock on the door.A little man dressed all funny is standing there.
He says “Can I come in - I’m looking for my little boy.”
Jesus says “You’ll never find him in here, we’ve got millions of them.”
Little man “Easy - I’ll get them to hold their hands out. He has holes in his.”
Jesus has a quick shufty at his mits, “Any other distinguishing features?”
" Yeah, he’s got holes in his feet too"
Jesus “DAD?”
Little man “PINNOCHIO?”