Evening people who didn’t listen at school.
OMG. The beaver has been camping out in a DAF XF tent. Lots of near [zb]-ups and one actual ■■■■ up.
Started yesterday morning. As usual went to hook-up to an empty trailer. Found a decent looking one,unfastened the curtain about 8 feet down and stuck my head under. Looked empty,lets have it.
Off to Trafford park to get loaded. Got to the yard and did a 436 point turn. Ripped the curtains back. Forkie says " Just those two for me mate? ". Headboard had given birth to two pallets on the journey. aaaaaaaaargh. What an almighty ■■■! IMPORTANT LESSON LEARNT-check properly in future. Phoned the gaffer. Monumental bell-end status still in tact.
1 hour cost by having to go back to my depot and switch trailers. Eventually load up and set off to do 3 drops round Northampton and Richard 111’s gaff.(Leicester for those who don’t know). Trundling down motorway number 6,and I thought HAHA break time-my first MSA parking attempt. Think it was Keele. One bloody microscopic gap and a thousand peering faces watching me through their velour pelmets. Turtles head back in town. Bottled it and parked sideways. First drop N/Hampton no probs. 2nd drop off to Melton Mowbray no probs. Phoned drop 3 and it was confirmed as 8 am this morning so found an industrial estate to park up and settle for the night. IMPORTANT LESSON number 2…have a duvet or sleeping bag. Its very,very cold at 2 am ■■■■■■■ into a bottle. Woke up like a frozen corpse in the fetal position and sorted drop 3. Phoned the big kahuna who instructed me to go to Milton Keynes and trailer swap. Cruising along with a radio station called ’ The eye ’ on,and ■■■■■■■ myself listening to the DJ rattling on about the ’ Vale of beaver '!!! Got to MK okay and found the yard. Switched my empty for a fully loaded beast. Off back to my own depot. 15 miles into my journey and I had a nagging feeling I had forgotten something. IMPORTANT LESSON number 3…a trailer is much better with a number plate on it. aaaaaaaargh. Turned round and headed back for it. Saw a DVSA galaxy and a bit of ■■■ came out. Luckily he didn’t scope me and I duly collected my plate from my previous trailer. Unfortunately my ninja-style creeping about, was spotted by Mr Forkie,who for some strange reason was doing a ’ coffee shaker ’ impression on his forehead whilst looking in my direction. Back to my depot looking forward to more prick like behaviour tomorrow.
Seriously Beaver… you are wasting your time driving.
Like someone suggested get yourself into comedy somehow… I haven’t even got a third of the way through and I’ve already lost a little bit of wee 
If you stay driving… then you have to promise to keep up with the updates.
Jon
eagerbeaver:
Evening people who didn’t listen at school.
OMG. The beaver has been camping out in a DAF XF tent. Lots of near [zb]-ups and one actual ■■■■ up.
Started yesterday morning. As usual went to hook-up to an empty trailer. Found a decent looking one,unfastened the curtain about 8 feet down and stuck my head under. Looked empty,lets have it.
Off to Trafford park to get loaded. Got to the yard and did a 436 point turn. Ripped the curtains back. Forkie says " Just those two for me mate? ". Headboard had given birth to two pallets on the journey. aaaaaaaaargh. What an almighty ■■■! IMPORTANT LESSON LEARNT-check properly in future. Phoned the gaffer. Monumental bell-end status still in tact.
1 hour cost by having to go back to my depot and switch trailers. Eventually load up and set off to do 3 drops round Northampton and Richard 111’s gaff.(Leicester for those who don’t know). Trundling down motorway number 6,and I thought HAHA break time-my first MSA parking attempt. Think it was Keele. One bloody microscopic gap and a thousand peering faces watching me through their velour pelmets. Turtles head back in town. Bottled it and parked sideways. First drop N/Hampton no probs. 2nd drop off to Melton Mowbray no probs. Phoned drop 3 and it was confirmed as 8 am this morning so found an industrial estate to park up and settle for the night. IMPORTANT LESSON number 2…have a duvet or sleeping bag. Its very,very cold at 2 am ■■■■■■■ into a bottle. Woke up like a frozen corpse in the fetal position and sorted drop 3. Phoned the big kahuna who instructed me to go to Milton Keynes and trailer swap. Cruising along with a radio station called ’ The eye ’ on,and ■■■■■■■ myself listening to the DJ rattling on about the ’ Vale of beaver '!!! Got to MK okay and found the yard. Switched my empty for a fully loaded beast. Off back to my own depot. 15 miles into my journey and I had a nagging feeling I had forgotten something. IMPORTANT LESSON number 3…a trailer is much better with a number plate on it. aaaaaaaargh. Turned round and headed back for it. Saw a DVSA galaxy and a bit of ■■■ came out. Luckily he didn’t scope me and I duly collected my plate from my previous trailer. Unfortunately my ninja-style creeping about, was spotted by Mr Forkie,who for some strange reason was doing a ’ coffee shaker ’ impression on his forehead whilst looking in my direction. Back to my depot looking forward to more prick like behaviour tomorrow.
Laughing so hard i think a little bit of wee came out
keep em coming, really enjoy reading these diaries 
write a few more and copy/paste em into a book. may be a short driving career 
You owe me a laptop, Just spat my beer over this one…
Keep up the commentary
Omg
You wanna film camera on board… certainly be more entertaining than watching paint dry… I mean some ■■■■ on the box…
Man take few pics of yer cockups next time, will add spice to already awesome read.
Thx for updates man.
You can’t do a 436 point turn. Needs to be an odd number. Probably 437 
Night heater not work then?
Beaver you should train to be a periodic CPC trainer the 7 hours would be such fun mate!
Paul 
I am glad my totally inept behaviour pleases you all. More issues today lol.