American film annoyances

OUT OF HOURS BULLY'S TRUCKSTOP BAR (INTERACTIVE)
1

The end of the movie always ends with 300 Police cars, three helicopters and a FBI Lear Jet. OH I nearly forgot the 35 fire engines.

The actors/actresses always eat with their mouth open and talk at the same time.

When the cars stop, the engine is off but the car headlights are always left on.

The use of the word “like”, in all the sentence,my pet hate.

Spoilt American kids that are rude, they don’t know how good they have got it.

Volvo 240 s and estates in most films,an 80,s car with that old fashioned shape.

Trucks tooting their air horn when the driver is not seen pressing the horn.

2

They switch off the TV to answer the door or phone!
Their historical films tend to be historically inaccurate.

3

Every film involves the use of a gun and somebody getting shot.

They show off the fact of the conference phone system, when you talking on the phone, you hear a warning sound that informs you that somebody else is trying to call.
You have the choice to let the other party in on the call.

Los Angeles is portrayed that the beach is near to the city, it is not, and it is long way away, as I discovered.

Housewives that live in huge houses get bored and have affairs.

Hollywood is shown as a few glamorous streets, but the reality is never shown of homeless people and street beggars.
And street drinkers.

4

Without fail even nudging a car will result in a Hiroshima sized fireball.

In the centre of New York you can always park right outside the building you are about to rob/storm/ blow up.

You can always download the schematics to any building you are about to assault.

Bad guys are rubbish shots whereas the good guys pistol holds 65 rounds and can never miss.

If the good guy gets shot with a 50 cal the heroine can invariably fix him and have him back in action within 30 seconds by strategically tearing her shirt off and wrapping it around his arm.

You can only go investigate the man in the ski mask in the woods at night if you are wearing Ann Summers lingerie.

5

The Blair Witch project scared the stuffing out of me,perceived terror, you could not see the danger.

6

Whenever they are checking out a Scary Place, it’s always dark with cold water running & they are always on their own or with a very small screamy female who’s scared of her own shadow & they never, NEVER wait for reinforcements.

7

The sheets always stick to the women when they get out of bed

All kitchens have a cooking point in the middle of them

All men over 35 wear lumberjack shirts when not at work

Every bathroom cabinet in the world has floss.

No one ever has to cut short to go and have a dump.

8

If 6 guys want to kick the ■■■■ out of the main hero they will all attack him one at a time and wait on him beating up one guy before the next jumps in

Unless the character being played is portrayed as a bumbling oof then all cars are spotlessly clean inside and out

If your wife/cop partner/best friend is killed you will cry for ten seconds before twisting your face in a grimance of fury and then swear revenge

If you are a police detective then you are either divorced or have a marriage on the rocks

You can kill 38 people but at the end the police will not bother to take you in or investigate. It will be put down as justified

If you are one half of a sickly mad in love couple at the beginning of the movie then one of you is coming a cropper

Running upstairs and hiding in a wardrobe with no means of escape is always preferable to running outside

When a cop who no one will have a sa partner gets one forced on them they will be at each others throats to begin with but will always become best friends

Any cop with mental instability can keep working,complete with loaded gun,by simply avoiding the force phychiatrist.

Most one night stands will be an all night session of tender,loving ■■■ followed by an awkward but pleseant meeting at the breakfast table over scrambled eggs and pancakes. There is never a fumbling,awkward 4 minute session followed by casual remarks about calling taxis

You will always be able to find the TV remote straight away when the phone rings

Al foreigners will speak to each other in English with thick accents

If tracing a phone it can be found straight away unless it belongs to a criminal in which case it wasnt active for long enough to trace

When turning on the TV in the morning you will get the news report relevent to you right from the beginning

After killing the bad guy at the end the hero must remain within 3 feet of the body without checking that they are actually dead. And they usually arn’t

9

nowadays it has to work from the script…you get the male lead,followed by the ■■■ goddess female lead who is also a swat cop or nypd detective,whos every bit as much of a fighter as the boys,but with a feminine side,then somewhere in there no matter how bizarre and out of character,there has to be token…the coloured guy,any film you see now works from this formula…it dosent matter what period in time the films about…it works from the same formula. women new york detectives,robin hood who brings some "moroccan " dude back with him…i personally cant stand it as it it is just so false and unreal. completely ruins good films,or at least it does for me…at least in star trek 1st series you knew that if you were a security man and beamed down to a planet with captain kirk and this weeks ■■■ goddess,then it was odds on you went coming back up… :slight_smile:

10

They all live in unfeasibly large flats/houses, even when they don’t work.
Nobody seems to eat anything, even when food is in front of them.
All the bar staff are hilarious, not the case.
Nobody ever goes to the toilet, ever.

11

everyone can drive anything truck ,car even though most people cant use a stick shift,ride a super ninja better than barry sheen, fly/land planes…no one is left handed when it comes to shooting :smiling_imp:
walk in to a restaurant and get a table no waiting .food service is always good. :smiling_imp:,
shoot 2-3 bad guys and the cops don’t shoot you … drink lots o beer and never puke and still able to beat up the bad guys.
bad guys never attack as a group always one at a time …f that I would be shouting get intae him ya tubes while the good guys kicking the ■■■■ out o me.

12

Like this thread.

Big Holywood studio traits:-

No one says goodbye on the phone. They just put it down.

Guns always pop up. Just like real life then.

In a thriller, always a big crescendo. It never withers out into a stodgy mountain of paperwork and investigations.

Comic book cartoons are considered to be interesting and what everyone wants to see at the cinema. That’s their biggest crime in my book.

American Mums are all hot yummy mummies with an SUV, a couple of annoying as ■■■■ kids and a dog called Rex or something. Not fat lardy messes

New York is portrayed as friendly, big and an apple. I found it unfriendly, suprisingly small and not an apple. I liked it though minus the people :smiley:

American detectives always drive their own odd cars, are pretty mental and generally free spirits busting ■■■.

Recent inde films seem better for busting cliches.

13

they never pay for their drink

they always go upstairs when running away

the tyres (they say tires) always squeal - even on the beach

go into a dark room & not turn the light on

they keep fighting after having a wooden chair smashed over their heads

14

When ever police cars are parked outside a murder scene, the radio net is going ten to the dozen but you can’t make it out.

A forensics man can make a judgment in ten minutes.

Police cars are awful old boats with sloppy handling and “tire” ( :unamused: ) squeal.

In Under Siege, Seagal had ALL the moves, everyone else was incompetent.

On British TV comedies of the 90’s such as One Foot in the Grave and Keeping Up Appearances, when the canned laughter comes on their is an annoying “beep beep” car sound which always cheeses me off!

15

American film annoyances? Americans.

16

Couples go to bed have there fun and get out clothed or wrap themselves in a sheet.

17

The whole world is under attack from a seemingly indestructable alien race but they all sit huddled round static radios waiting on the Americans to come up with a plan to save the day

18

mac12:
Couples go to bed have there fun and get out clothed or wrap themselves in a sheet.

and never any mess !!

19

American film family.
The fella has a complete Snap-on tool kit in the garage. He has no need for it as he is always a lawyer, never a mechanic or a truck driver. He’s got a four door saloon to go to work and then at weekend he’s got a massive four wheel drive pick up with chunky tyres and a million lights to go upto the “condo for the weekend for some fishing.”
Now he’s got top of range fishing tackle and what’s a condo?

The missus calls the fella and the kids “Honey” all the time. Does she not know their names? She never works so the house is perfect.

The kids havevgot scruffy clothes until they gets to seventeen when the transformation takes place, spots dissappear, hair immaculate and perfect teeth. And they are definitely going to be a lawyers or doctors.

20

Horror films are all based in an isolated house in the middle of nowhere, in the woods, thunderstorms and lightning are involved.
Any film with teenagers will always show a scene by the lockers and a kid being pushed
over by bigger bullies.
Wealthy families, their offspring must go to Harvard University.
Half a dozen police cars arrive at the same time and skid to a halt and park at a 45 degree angle blocking off the street, the officers may slide over their bonnet in a TJ ■■■■■■ style move.