Hi guys i am in desperate need of your help and advise on monday i have a TIME SENSITIVE CRITICAL DELIVERY of nearly out of date poek pies desdination tescos thurock imm sure i dont need to impress on you the importence of ariving on time as they will reject my load if imm late given that i will be leaving from kent to go to thurock a distance of less than a 100 miles and the fact that i will be going over the datford bridge with the deadly high winds imm concerned should i leave on sunday just to be sure ?
bjd:
Hi guys i am in desperate need of your help and advise on monday i have a TIME SENSITIVE CRITICAL DELIVERY of nearly out of date poek pies desdination tescos thurock imm sure i dont need to impress on you the importence of ariving on time as they will reject my load if imm late given that i will be leaving from kent to go to thurock a distance of less than a 100 miles and the fact that i will be going over the datford bridge with the deadly high winds imm concerned should i leave on sunday just to be sure ?
better leave now , sunday will be just too dangerous 
There has been a recent reality TV guide on this, and I feel your pain. especially as the Darford crossing is worse than any other road a truck would use elsewhere in the world. Good luck in your quest.
And what if you have to attempt the hardest manuvre in the trucker’s hand book, the dreaded, deadly blindside reverse?
Its a tough life testing us to the limits but yer have to grit yer teeth and crack on
Watch out for the creamy mess round the back.
if it gets to the night out stage i can always dump my creamy mess
Poek pie? Is that a Dutch delicacy?!
It’s ok the route planners at mission control have made a mistake probably caused by a glitch in the computer software controlling the sat nav system.You’ll use the tunnel crossing northbound not the extremely dangerous bridge with it’s regular 125 mph wind speeds.But the return run could be a problem unless they re route you anti clockwise round the M25.But that would mean an environmentally unsustainable distance level for a British road transport operator so it would probably be best to let an East European operator do the job if they can find one willing to take it. 
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bjd:
Hi guys i am in desperate need of your help and advise on monday i have a TIME SENSITIVE CRITICAL DELIVERY of nearly out of date poek pies desdination tescos thurock imm sure i dont need to impress on you the importence of ariving on time as they will reject my load if imm late given that i will be leaving from kent to go to thurock a distance of less than a 100 miles and the fact that i will be going over the datford bridge with the deadly high winds imm concerned should i leave on sunday just to be sure ?
Just got off the phone with Rick Yemm, he was willing to come and try that job, and he reckoned that even though it was 100 miles he could do it with only two breaks, but then I mentioned the Dartford crossing, and he almost dropped the phone with fear.
“I saw that mother on the TV programme good buddy, so count me out, he’s on his own with that killer journey” he said, and put the phone down.
Sorry, I tried.
Maybe they could send half of them up the thames estuary on a barge. then you could race to see who can get there first. It would take your mind off the dreadful return journey!
Bad news fella, your in the wrong start location. Pork Pies are from Melton Mowbray everybody knows that even a Stobart planner 
should have left Friday. oops too l8
truckerjon:
Maybe they could send half of them up the thames estuary on a barge. then you could race to see who can get there first. It would take your mind off the dreadful return journey!
Now imm liking that idear do they need to change skipers s maybe a low tide would slow them down a cuning plan formin as my old truck would do at least 5o through the pipe and i might make it inside 4 an a half hours so no stop for me
oh the drama…i’ve just made a creamy mess reading this