As a point ( or several) of interest…
Quite often it’s the ABS lead that’s causing the incompatibility. An ABS plug has 5 pins, whereas a new-fangled ABS/EBS lead has 7, the extra 2 pins carrying the EBS bit.
The sockets are designed so that you can plug a 5-pin plug into a 7-pin socket and vice-versa, presumably because they realised how long it would take for the newer version of the system to become standard.
If it’s a new unit on an old trailer, then you are probably putting a 7-pin plug into a 5-pin socket. The brakes still work perfectly well - ABS included - you just won’t have EBS because the trailer doesn’t have it. Changing the lead to one with a 5-pin plug will miraculously cure the “fault” on the dash. 
If it’s the other way around (old unit/new trailer) then changing the lead won’t make a difference, because the trailer will still show as “incompatible” where the unit can’t do the EBS bit…but again, the ABS will still work and the rig is totally legal.
The only time a fault like this becomes illegal is if the little green light on the front of the trailer doesn’t do it’s stuff. IIRC, on most Haldex systems (the people who make the ABS/EBS bit) a green light will come on when you first start up, and then go off once you go over 10 or 15kph. This is the system’s inbuilt testing system, and if it doesn’t do that then you probably have a bigger problem, regardless of what the dash is saying - the whole compatibility thing confuses many tractor unit diagnostic setups.
The light/lights are usually very sensible placed on the bottom outside edge of the trailer, so it’s easy to keep an eye in your mirror and make sure it goes out when it’s supposed to…if the parts of the vehicle are compatible then their systems will work together and the yellow dashboard light will also go at when you reach the right speed, in harmony with the trailer check-light.
Most trailers with ABS will have an “idiot’s guide” to the green light system attached in the form of metal plates not far from the light itself. If they’re not there they’ve either been taken off or painted over. Personally I’d be a-whinging about that. 
If you want to be a total smartarse, a quick scout around the trailer will locate a small black box with a rubber cover (often embossed with “Haldex”, but not always). Carefully open this cover and you are now faced with the ABS onboard computer. Make a note of any codes or pictures shown (“spanner” is the one you want to worry about, but there are others) and ring whoever does your fitting and they should be able to confirm whether there is actually a problem or not. Note that on some of these computers you have to press a button to bring the codes up…and on the older ones that wipes them off the system, so making a note of what they are is vital if you need to get it sorted. 
The Ministry are aware of these problems, and tend to go by the trailer’s testing system rather than the unit’s when establishing whether the rig is legal…so if the green light thing isn’t working as it should, don’t take it out!!!
Also, don’t be tempted to unplug the ABS lead to get shot of the light on the dash…get caught unplugged and it’s an instant prohibition which will not only go against the firm’s O-Licence, but may well put you out of a job when it’s so blatantly your fault. 