A few jokes !

[baggie]

I never believed my father, a lollipop man, was stealing from work,but all the signs were there.

Last night I reached for my liquid ■■■■■■ and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke up this morning with a huge correction !

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
“F**k off” says the librarian,“You won’t bring it back.”

My wife said … "Can you explain to me why I’ve just found a pair
of womens knickers in your coat pocket ? "
Says I
“Yes … because you’re a nosey c**t !”

[carryfast]

Baggie:
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
“F**k off” says the librarian,“You won’t bring it back.”

[mr_scammell]

Irish Insurance.

A man and his wife moved back home to Cork , from London.

The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Britain was £2000.00 a year!

When they arrived in Cork , they went to an Insurance agency to see

how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg.

The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple, ‘€39.00.’

The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Ireland

to insure, because it cost him £2000.00 in England!

The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on

the screen,it says:

Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is €39.00.’

[kev83]

A family are driving behind a dustcart when a ■■■■■ flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son’s innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don’t worry; that was an insect."To which, her son replies, “I’m surprised he could get off the ground with a ■■■■ like that.”