A few jokes

Stolen from another website i wont mention it but they are quite good…

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”
The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The flight attendant asked, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?” He said that his mother had. So the stewardess said, “Tell your mother that Southwest always pulls out on time.”

Top 17 Bumper Stickers You’d Like To See

  1. Jesus loves you… but everyone else thinks you’re an ■■■■■■■.
  2. Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings.”
  3. The proctologist called… they found your head.
  4. Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have any film.
  5. Save your breath – you’ll need it to blow up your date.
  6. Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
  7. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke off.
  8. Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
  9. Guys, just because you have one, doesn’t mean you have to be one.
  10. Some people just don’t know how to drive. I call these people “Everybody But Me.”
  11. Heart Attacks: God’s revenge for eating His animal friends.
  12. Don’t like my driving? Then quit watching me.
  13. If you can read this… I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
  14. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
  15. Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.
  16. Hang up and drive!
  17. Welcome to America… now speak English!

I like number 6 :slight_smile::)…

A father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and see lots of animals. Eventually, they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its ■■■■■, points to it, and says, “Mummy, what is that long thing?”
His mother replies, “That, son, is the elephant’s trunk.”

“No, at the other end.”

“That, son, is the tail.”

“No, mummy, the thing under the elephant.”

After a short, awkward silence, she replies, “That’s nothing.”

The mother goes to buy some ice cream and the boy, not satisfied with his mother’s answer, asks his father the same question. “Daddy, what is that long thing?”

“That’s the trunk, son,” replies the father.

“No, at the other end.”

“Oh, that is the tail.”

“No, no daddy, the thing below,” asks the son in desperation.

“That is the elephant’s ■■■■■. Why do you ask, son?”

“Well, mummy said it was nothing,” says the boy.

The father replies, “I tell you, I spoil that woman …”

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisle. The salesgirl notices him and asks if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife, so she directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, “Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?”

He answers, “You see, it’s like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers, 'cause it’s so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she.”

I really hope thats allowed to stay…

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