40 t0 50

A man on his own in a car
Is revenging himself on his wife;
He open the throttle and bubbles with dottle
and puffs at his pitiful life

She’s losing her looks very fast,
she loses her temper all day;
that lorry won’t let me get past,
this Mini is blocking my way.

"Why can’t you step on it and shift her!
I can’t go on crawling like this!
At breakfast she said that she wished I was dead-
Thank heavens we don’t have to kiss.

"I’d like a nice blonde on my knee
And one who won’t argue or nag.
Who dares to come hooting at me?
I only give way to a Jag.

“You’re barmy or plastered, I’ll pass you, you ■■■■■■■■
I will overtake you. I will!”
As he clenches his pipe, his moment is ripe
And the corner’s accepting its kill.

40 miles an hour is all we’re allowed
If you think I’m gonna do more, you’re up in a cloud.

My licence is my ticket, to earn an honest Bob
If you think I’m gonna loose it, you’re a complete Knob.

I’ll pull over if there’s a layby to use,
So I don’t need all the verbal abuse.

You want us to deliver to your town,
but you don’t like it, when we slow you down.

You seem to forget, we can’t stop as quick as you,
Think of your stopping distance & times it by Two. (Or 4)

We need room on roundabouts & the odd bend.
If you’re too pushy, we know where it’s gonna end.

So give us some patience, it would be good to see it shown,
Then maybe tonight we’ll all safely get home.

Nice! Better than Betjeman’s