chinese6:
He said they often used to have strippers on there at lunchtime and the pub was full of blokes with “their pint in one hand and their ■■■■ in the other.” Classy…
Heheh, that reminds me…
I was once doing a gig in Hartlepool Workies, Sunday lunchtime, including strippers…
I´d done a couple of sets and now the stripper comes on. After about 20 minutes she´s down to next to nothing, in fact all she had on was a bright red pair of stilettos.
She gets on the windowsill behind this fella sat on one of those along the wall bench seats, and her “Manager” throws her a tin of shaving foam which she starts to spread all over this blokes bald head. The place was rocking with laughter, then another guy shouts out…
“Ho pet, Get yer [zb] shoes aff”
Mebbe he had a ■■■■■■■■■■■
That was the day Princess Diana died. We heard about it during my last set, I had a pair of Prince Charles rubber ears on, messing about. Soon took em off.
I used to work with a guy who led an interesting life part of which was gigging (guitar player/singer) at places various.
Told me he used to go up to town and frequent establishments with No ■■■■■■■ signs on the walls
if you like reading bullshut someone whose posts are worth wasting time on is an Ian Humphries [suicide squad] of Ipswich on facebook. he has 3 diffrent pages,all same name cos he gets booted now n then. he added me as a friend years back,tho i didnt know him from Adam but heyho so wat. , poor ex squaddie has a collapsed back , wheelchair ,ptsd ,suicidal thoughts and more recently borderline personality disorder posting daily about the treatments it all sounds grim you gotta feel sorry -or have you… i actually chipped in to his gofundme page couple of years back and [altho i didnt know him] called in to see him as we was passing by ,his missus answered door and called up to him bedbound upstairs,"ian, ian ,come on,hurry ,a friends here to see you,CMON " I thought god how callous of her but then here he comes, is bounding down the stairs 3 at a time runs straight out front door in his socks ,the picture of health well no teeth but nowt wrong basically - i said “how are u getting along in the wheelchair?” “its accepting iv gotta use it thats what i dont like …”
corij:
if you like reading bullshut someone whose posts are worth wasting time on is an Ian Humphries [suicide squad] of Ipswich on facebook. he has 3 diffrent pages,all same name cos he gets booted now n then. he added me as a friend years back,tho i didnt know him from Adam but heyho so wat. , poor ex squaddie has a collapsed back , wheelchair ,ptsd ,suicidal thoughts and more recently borderline personality disorder posting daily about the treatments it all sounds grim you gotta feel sorry -or have you… i actually chipped in to his gofundme page couple of years back and [altho i didnt know him] called in to see him as we was passing by ,his missus answered door and called up to him bedbound upstairs,"ian, ian ,come on,hurry ,a friends here to see you,CMON " I thought god how callous of her but then here he comes, is bounding down the stairs 3 at a time runs straight out front door in his socks ,the picture of health well no teeth but nowt wrong basically - i said “how are u getting along in the wheelchair?” "its accepting iv gotta use it thats what i dont like …"0
The Herald yeah I remember that. I was living in Thanet at the time and I was nowhere near it. But a bloke I played cricket with was. He was a crewman on the ship and was sat in the crew mess when it went over. He survived but the bloke he was sitting with didn’t. Such is fate!
As luck would have it he was made redundant after the seamans strike of the late 80s and became a wagon driver. As I understand it hes still with Mike Beer transport. I haven’t seen him for 20 odd years.
I actually do know one of the divers who went in to look for people. He’s a hard nosed barsteward and he wouldnt talk about it. I think the silence says it all.
A pal of mine who is a bit of a walter and thinks he’s gods gift, reckoned that a barmaid once poured him a pint of Guinness and instead of the standard shamrock she wrote her phone number on top
dozy:
I was talking to a very nice polish agency driver at knauf immingham today , he’s passed his test 4 months ago and he was telling me that the company were so desperate for drivers he was getting paid £127 pw on top of his wage as a bonus for driving for them , he also said some were getting £127 per day on top of there daily pay , at the time I couldn’t stop laughing , I mean £127 per shift on top of your wage , but do you know what it wouldn’t suprise me
Not read the entire thread so apologies if this has come up already but back in the summer I was chatting to an English agency driver who said something similar. On that occasion it was Goole not Immingham but it seems plausible.
When i was doing Gibraltar ,the rumour was that drivers could use a shower in a private flat, and maybe got offered more ,you can use your imagination, maybe a sleep over included.
Drivers ringing up their boss to explain the truck breaking down ,which meant oversleeping by the Spanish club with ladies that did not wear many clothes.
If you paid for the club ‘service’ , the credit card statement would say ’ Pedros pneumaticos S.A ',
Tyre repairs ,so the wife or girlfiend at home would not query it.!!
theres a good new ■■■■■■■■■■■ got a burger van in Wickes car park in Ipswich .Well entertaining but serious face - he was an aircraft engineer in a former life and had to fly allover away for months in Dubai got sick of the Arabic fuel vapour ,then in to Moscow. To fit a new engine in a chipmunk out on the airport tarmac. He arranges the engine and bits to arrive ahead of time and the airport bod points out its all ready for you sitting in boxes on those green tarps out by the planes. So out he goes with his toolbox and whaddya know all the boxes are empty! So he has to sit around in Russia but then got liver failure for 7months there and decided to get a burger van in Ipswich
corij:
theres a good new [zb] got a burger van in Wickes car park in Ipswich .Well entertaining but serious face - he was an aircraft engineer in a former life and had to fly allover away for months in Dubai got sick of the Arabic fuel vapour ,then in to Moscow. To fit a new engine in a chipmunk out on the airport tarmac. He arranges the engine and bits to arrive ahead of time and the airport bod points out its all ready for you sitting in boxes on those green tarps out by the planes. So out he goes with his toolbox and whaddya know all the boxes are empty! So he has to sit around in Russia but then got liver failure for 7months there and decided to get a burger van in Ipswich
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we`ve got bigger than that in here drive…
sammym:
People have the ability to dig a big big big whole and not stop.
When I was a young soldier (Sapper), a rifleman I was friends got a bit drunk and started to regale us about his ‘sniper training’ which he’d done in during his 3 week stint in Canada. The problem was that in the room were a group of lads from 2-para. Now you can easily [zb] young sappers about such things - but the fellow infantryman know a thing or two more. They started to quizz him in a rather agressively - explaining such things as where this course would be held, how long it would take and prerequisite courses he’d have had to take. Rifleman Legend (as I shall now refer to him) brazenly went on to explain he’d done the special forces sniper course. At this point some peopled giggles - some of the maroon machine started to get more angry. He finsihed off with the line “not that your REMFS would know about that”. At which point the Riflemen and his two friends (incldluding myself) got a bloody good hiding.
The Legendary Rifleman did not stop their in his great excapades. He’d regularly create great works of fiction. Frankly I really liked the guy and enjoyed his carry on. At one point he had a few girls believing he was in some war torn area operating with the SAS - whilst texting them from a nightclub in Aldershot. He got engaged to one women who believed he was something he was not - and then claimed he needed to go ‘deep cover’ and couldn’t see her again. He’d even stop and offer his assistance to paramedics and the police claiming he was an army medic. On one toecurling night the paramedic asked to see evidence of this and told him to go away.
Last time I saw his he was working on the checkout of Aldi in Salisbury. A bit sad really. We chatted and he said he was not t total and was loving life. I think after all his [zb] we was effectively bullied out of the army. I remember our drunken nights of ridiculousnes with great enthusiam.
I know this is old as ■■■■ but got me chuckling! I knew a bloke from my battalion who used to do the same. We went to a recruiting team together in aldershot and he used to tell people he was recce platoon and that he’d done 2 tours of Afghan, I think he forgot I was there too and we both came from the same rifle platoon!
The stories he used to tell were ridiculous, he used to try ■■■■■■■■■■■■ me aswell about all kinds of nonsense. He used to get in to lots of debt with people as well. He recently split up with his wife and we were talking and I asked her how she used to cope with his lies. She would have to stand there on nights out next to him listening to him talking absolute ■■■■■■
He is definitely going to be on the Walter Mitty Hunter club group in a few years claiming to be ex SF, probably much like your mate I’d imagine !
Ps, my mate also claimed to be a sniper too but he would regularly have to have reshoots on the ACMT
There’s a bloke on here posts as Jakethesnake he’s driven everything was a driving instructor assessor you name it motorbike racer he’s done everything knows everything lives in Scotland and Holland oh and Thailand enough said if you get my drift, anyway read his posts so much fiction It’s piteful but I suppose he’s happy in his fictitious world
After reading the fastest speeds clocked pre limiter days I noticed someone mentioned the speed done in a car so…what’s the highest speed you have done on 2, 4 or more wheels?
My highest in a car was 155 mph in a 3 litre Alpha on the autobahn in Germany.
On 2 wheels though at Elvington I clocked 206 mph (true speed) on a Kawasaki ZX 12R which was de restricted from the 186 when new. It was also highly tuned.
In my youth it was the thing to do the ton which I did manys a time on old British bikes but never ever thought I would do double that!
TBH Nothing to it, head behind fairing ,through the gears (0 to 100 mph is 4 secs apparently) and keep going hoping the front tyre doesn’t blow!
