Been attacked in the night

peirre:
Once upon a time, there was a truck driver. He went for a drive in Lincolnshire. Pretty soon, he came upon a house in Grantham, so he pulled over and knocked on the door and when no one answered, he walked right in.

At the table in the kitchen, there were three Steak dinners.
He was hungry. he tasted the steak from the first plate.

“This steak is raw!” he exclaimed.

So, he tasted the steak from the second plate.

“This steak is over cooked,” he said

So, he tasted the last plate of steak.

“Ahhh, this steak is just right,” he said happily and he ate it all up.

After he’d tasted the three Steak dinners he decided he was feeling a little tired. So, he walked into the living room where she saw three chairs. He sat in the first chair to rest his feet.

“This chair is too big!” he exclaimed.

So he sat in the second chair.

“This chair is too big, too!” he whined (well he is a truck driver).

So he tried the last and smallest chair.

“Ahhh, this chair is just right,” he sighed. But just as the fat driver settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces! (They’re only rated at 18st)

The driver was very tired by this time, so he went upstairs to the bedroom. he lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then he lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then he lay down in the third bed and it was just right. So the driver fell asleep.

As he was sleeping, Dozy came home, looking at the table said “Someone’s been eating my steak dinner,” growled Dozy.

He then walked into the lounge to watch tv and noticed the broken chain and said

“Some fat gits been sitting in my chair and they’ve broken it all to pieces,” cried Dozy.

He decided to look around some more and when he got upstairs to the bedroom, Dozy growled, “Someone’s been sleeping in my bed,”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed, too” said Mama bear (sheepishly)

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed and he’s still there!” exclaimed Dozy

Just then, The Driver woke up and saw Dozy. he screamed, “Help!” And he jumped up and ran out of the room and ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the high street, and he never returned to Grantham, instead he vowed to sleep in crappy lay-bys and eat Burger King on Friday nights.

Excellent. [WHITE SMILING FACE]

Sent from my SM-G361F using Tapatalk

Use this time away from work wisely…

indeed.co.uk/m/jobs?q=hgv+d … ncolnshire

xichrisxi:
Use this time away from work wisely…

indeed.co.uk/m/jobs?q=hgv+d … ncolnshire

He won’t…

Eddies brainwashed poodle will remain loyally at Eddies side waiting for his masters next command.

A Stobart driver from Grantham
Was giving his planner a tantrum
But , so eager to please
Doze suffered the fleas
And even asked how he could thank them

dozy:
off work leg swollen up

As you now seem to be Spider-Man I think you may have the answer to the insect culprit.

Try out your Spidey senses

got em too dozy…theyre mozzie bites,see if you feel a lump around the bite…thats my feeling anyway…

truckyboy:
got em too dozy…theyre mozzie bites,see if you feel a lump around the bite…thats my feeling anyway…

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
in his case,theres 14 stone of lump surrounding the bite… :slight_smile:

Maybe the Stobart Arsonists should be freed as they had a valid reason to set fire to their beds [emoji23]

yourhavingalarf:

xichrisxi:
Use this time away from work wisely…

indeed.co.uk/m/jobs?q=hgv+d … ncolnshire

He won’t…

Eddies brainwashed poodle will remain loyally at Eddies side waiting for his masters next command.

Who do you work for ?

DUFFMAN:
Who do you work for ?

I don’t drive anymore, I’m early retired however in answer to your question…Anyone but anyone apart from that shower of utter ■■■■.
If Stobarts were all that was left I’d burn my licences.
A company full of greed employing management halfwits who are happy employing ■■■■■■■■■ as far as I’m concerned if you drive for Stobarts then you’re as much of a ■■■■ as the people up top who are happy to ■■■■ any corner of the industry and bleed it dry.
Yes there are others but these ■■■■■ wrote the book on it…who do you work for Duffman :grimacing:

mdourish:
That’s what you get for a cheap layby spec ■■■■■■ dozy

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

So that’s why longline cabs were invented…

Had exactly the same looking bites the other week in Belgium. It was a mozzie. Found the little bugger and squashed him.

Franglais:
Excellent. [WHITE SMILING FACE]

I was gonna call the truck driver “Goldilocks” but I think that’s been done before :laughing:

Norfolkinclue1:
halfwits who are happy employing [zb], as far as I’m concerned if you drive for Stobarts then you’re as much of a [zb] as the people up top

Reckon you’re talking ■■■■■■■■ there mate.
I also hate Stobarts, but you can’t just write off all the drivers there as ■■■■■■ :unamused:
Ok, they’ve got their fair share, but I have a good mate who works for them and he certainly is not a ■■■■ by any means.
He does not bend over like dozy appears to, he takes no crap off them and gets on quite well with it.
So they aint all the same mate.

robroy:

Norfolkinclue1:
halfwits who are happy employing [zb], as far as I’m concerned if you drive for Stobarts then you’re as much of a [zb] as the people up top

Reckon you’re talking ■■■■■■■■ there mate.
I also hate Stobarts, but you can’t just write off all the drivers there as [zb]. :unamused:
Ok, they’ve got their fair share, but I have a good mate who works for them and he certainly is not a [zb] by any means.
He does not bend over like dozy appears to, he takes no crap off them and gets on quite well with it.
So they aint all the same mate.

Wear the uniform, help the cause.
You’re the one who keeps on about drivers taking a stand mate, if no one drove for them on the ■■■■ awful rates they pay then things might change, I would imagine that Stobarts and the other big companies were target number one when it comes to drivers sticking together?
Yes Dozy takes it like a ■■■■■,but do you think he’s the only one? Do you think he has a one off planner?
How many trucks does Stobarts have in fleet and yet he’s cab hopping, they were wrapping and prepping them for fun in the old City Link yard at Appleton a while back, bloody hundreds of them and yet he gets a flea infested ■■■■ tip or better still has to travel to the other side of the country just to tramp for a week for a company with thousands of units, why?
I’ll tell you why, because they treat drivers like ■■■■ and the industry like ■■■■ and all for a profit for the bosses and less than £9 an hour for the grafters. If you were a decent driver with a backbone you wouldn’t be working for Stobarts in my very humble opinion. I can’t respect anyone who works for them.
Sorry mate, but I don’t care if you make tea in the boardroom or brush the yard, if you work for them then your the problem.
Yes I know there is Wincanton, DHL and XPO but Stobarts seem to lead the way in all levels of ■■■■ wittery.
To make matters worse as a born Yorkshireman, I’m a Leeds fan, and we didn’t manage to break down Middlesbrough in our inevitable promotion back to the top…

It won t be mid table again with 4 more managers, nope, not us… :blush:

Norfolkinclue1:

robroy:

Norfolkinclue1:
halfwits who are happy employing [zb], as far as I’m concerned if you drive for Stobarts then you’re as much of a [zb] as the people up top

Reckon you’re talking ■■■■■■■■ there mate.
I also hate Stobarts, but you can’t just write off all the drivers there as [zb]. :unamused:
Ok, they’ve got their fair share, but I have a good mate who works for them and he certainly is not a [zb] by any means.
He does not bend over like dozy appears to, he takes no crap off them and gets on quite well with it.
So they aint all the same mate.

Wear the uniform, help the cause.
You’re the one who keeps on about drivers taking a stand mate, if no one drove for them on the [zb] awful rates they pay then things might change, I would imagine that Stobarts and the other big companies were target number one when it comes to drivers sticking together?
Yes Dozy takes it like a ■■■■■,but do you think he’s the only one? Do you think he has a one off planner?
How many trucks does Stobarts have in fleet and yet he’s cab hopping, they were wrapping and prepping them for fun in the old City Link yard at Appleton a while back, bloody hundreds of them and yet he gets a flea infested [zb] tip or better still has to travel to the other side of the country just to tramp for a week for a company with thousands of units, why?
I’ll tell you why, because they treat drivers like [zb] and the industry like [zb] and all for a profit for the bosses and less than £9 an hour for the grafters. If you were a decent driver with a backbone you wouldn’t be working for Stobarts in my very humble opinion. I can’t respect anyone who works for them.
Sorry mate, but I don’t care if you make tea in the boardroom or brush the yard, if you work for them then your the problem.
Yes I know there is Wincanton, DHL and XPO but Stobarts seem to lead the way in all levels of [zb] wittery.
To make matters worse as a born Yorkshireman, I’m a Leeds fan, and we didn’t manage to break down Middlesbrough in our inevitable promotion back to the top…

It won t be mid table again with 4 more managers, nope, not us… :blush:

They don’t pay [zb] awful rates though. Regardless of ’ how ’ they make the wage up, it’s more than the majority of general hauliers pay.

robroy:

Norfolkinclue1:
halfwits who are happy employing [zb], as far as I’m concerned if you drive for Stobarts then you’re as much of a [zb] as the people up top

Reckon you’re talking ■■■■■■■■ there mate.
I also hate Stobarts, but you can’t just write off all the drivers there as [zb]. :unamused:
Ok, they’ve got their fair share, but I have a good mate who works for them and he certainly is not a [zb] by any means.
He does not bend over like dozy appears to, he takes no crap off them and gets on quite well with it.
So they aint all the same mate.

I have worked for them about 3 months on agency. The work is easy and well paid. I have had a couple of Friday’s where what they have planned wasn’t going to happen. Phoned and told them and it was changed. No issues. If dozy is doing all these long days/Saturday run ins it sounds like he has asked for them or just needs to say no.

My only complaint is the agency and their inability to pay me correctly so nothing to do with Stobarts themselves

Since about 5 years ago I have been driving a Cascadia, I have had 3 so far and they are assembled in Mexico, in the first one which was a hand me down I was bitten on the fourth night, I turn the light on and saw a white spider vanish into the cab bodywork, I sealed all the bits where it could get through and sprayed strong insecticide into the bit I left open, I looked up the spider and it originated from Mexico or central America, it was not poisonous. just over 4 years ago I was given a brand new one and after a month I woke up in the middle of the night to see another white spider run behind the bulkhead, I sprayed some stuff in there and the problem went away, I now have a another brand new truck and have yet to see anymore.

Norfolkinclue1:

robroy:

Norfolkinclue1:
halfwits who are happy employing [zb], as far as I’m concerned if you drive for Stobarts then you’re as much of a [zb] as the people up top

Reckon you’re talking ■■■■■■■■ there mate.
I also hate Stobarts, but you can’t just write off all the drivers there as [zb]. :unamused:
Ok, they’ve got their fair share, but I have a good mate who works for them and he certainly is not a [zb] by any means.
He does not bend over like dozy appears to, he takes no crap off them and gets on quite well with it.
So they aint all the same mate.

Wear the uniform, help the cause.
You’re the one who keeps on about drivers taking a stand mate, if no one drove for them on the [zb] awful rates they pay then things might change, I would imagine that Stobarts and the other big companies were target number one when it comes to drivers sticking together?
Yes Dozy takes it like a ■■■■■,but do you think he’s the only one? Do you think he has a one off planner?
How many trucks does Stobarts have in fleet and yet he’s cab hopping, they were wrapping and prepping them for fun in the old City Link yard at Appleton a while back, bloody hundreds of them and yet he gets a flea infested [zb] tip or better still has to travel to the other side of the country just to tramp for a week for a company with thousands of units, why?
I’ll tell you why, because they treat drivers like [zb] and the industry like [zb] and all for a profit for the bosses and less than £9 an hour for the grafters. If you were a decent driver with a backbone you wouldn’t be working for Stobarts in my very humble opinion. I can’t respect anyone who works for them.
Sorry mate, but I don’t care if you make tea in the boardroom or brush the yard, if you work for them then your the problem.
Yes I know there is Wincanton, DHL and XPO but Stobarts seem to lead the way in all levels of [zb] wittery.
To make matters worse as a born Yorkshireman, I’m a Leeds fan, and we didn’t manage to break down Middlesbrough in our inevitable promotion back to the top…

It won t be mid table again with 4 more managers, nope, not us… :blush:

Firstly I do not work for them and never will because I share your opinions on them.
Drivers today will never stick together, let’s face it many are ■■■■■■■ and yes men who will take any old crap dished out and ■■■■ it up.
I work for a greedy arsed outfit who look upon their drivers as a necessary evil on the whole, many get treated like schoolboys…except the ones who have a bit of backbone and brain,

Stobarts are the same,.and my mate on there is a similar attitude to me, he’s been there on and off for years, and he certainly is not treated with the same contempt as the likes of dozy…drivers are individuals, that was my point, and some just make it as good for themselves in a crap and (and little alternative :bulb: ) situation.
The ones who are willing to take it up the arse do so, the ones who aint…don’t. :bulb:

Anyway you think you’ve got problems, we’ve got ■■■■ Man City today :open_mouth:
Btw…hoping to get back and watch it with a mate…(the one from Stobarts, who you said is a ■■■■ :smiley:)

Spoke to quite a few Stobbies were i fuel up in Grangemouth (Oilfast) not 1 has said a bad word about them day/tramper or agency

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk