Good luck I have been on my own for 20 years & brought 2 kids up no it not easy there will be low points but also some very high points
You have just hung up the keys for now not necessarily for ever they are just behind that door in time you may be able to go back but not as the same as you were as things have changed
BTW banardos are good at helping children cope with grief if he is struggling
Thanks Ang, even though it has been a very tough time for me it has been much tougher for my lad but I feel by me throwing my cards in and being there for him AM & PM it has helped keep the family home stable for him. I do have experience of being a single parent as I have 2 daughters from a previous marriage who are now 32 & 28 and I had joint custody but I had quite a bit of time on my own after they had become adults and got married and had children of their own.
Thanks for the pointer to Banardos, I know they do good work with children, but I have got him bereavement counselling sorted out with his school and a local agency who visit him at school once a week and it seems to be working out for him and me. 
My son is my priority, I have to get him through this terrible traumatic episode in his life and make sure he comes through this as undamaged as possible and I will do my best to do this at whatever cost.
Regards
Dave Penn;
I don’t really have any words dave, I know you lost your wife but I’m glad you have the custody battle sorted.
Good luck for the future. 
You’re absolutely right Dave, family does come first, and I salute you for your decision.
Good luck to you for whatever the future holds, and I’m sure your boy will return the favour someday for the sacrifice you’ve given.
Ken.
Yep Dave family does come first & no it not easy brining up kids on your own as you know & yep there will be some rough times as well as some good times you just have to keep things in perspective
Have you tried pda-uk.org/ for some help just ask they may be able to help with some things as that is what they are there for
Good luck
Its not easy.
I lost my first wife when we were both 30. My daughter was 10 months old so my wife never saw her first bithday.
All I can say is it gets easier with time. Look after yourself & try to get out and live life again.
Well today has been the final ‘Family Court’ hearing in the totally unnecessary saga, about residency & contact, that has been going on since Michelle passed away. It’s been a very stressful 7 months for me and my stepson but although I was granted permanent residency about 6 weeks ago the biological father and maternal Grandmother were intent on making bigger fools of themselves than they already had done 
The outcome of it all is now exactly as it was before Michelle’s death, stupid granny can see my stepson 4 times a year under my supervision for 2 hrs at a time max; The ded-leg, lying, thieving, junkie, sperm donor of a biological father cannot have any direct contact but can send a card/letter once a month and if he can do that for 6 months he can then make a new application for contact but here’s the kicker he has to then supply a hair strand test to prove he hasn’t used any drugs for that 6 months 
These are the conditions he’s had for the last 6yrs; and he’s never been able to do it and I have no doubt at all he won’t be able to do it now 
None of this would have happened if either of them would have had to dip into their own pockets to take this action like I have had to do but in April next year legal aid funding will be stopping for this kind of family court action, according to my solicitor, so I’m not expecting any more grief from the deluded pair of eejits
Sad to say though that my Santander & Credit Union accounts are nearly £7,000 lighter and my plans to put a 7.5 tonner on the road this year doing the bed job won’t be happening in the forseeable future 
Anyway after all this things are actually looking up for us both, my lad starts high school on Tuesday and even though I’ve had to finish work to deal with all this and to be there for him 24/7 I’ve got a few irons in the fire for some part time work that fits in with school times and terms plus the little man is becoming a big man now and once I’ve taught him to cook, wash his clothes, go to bed on time and get up on time I’ll be able to get back down the road
Thank you to everyone who offered condolences and support to both of us throughout this very sad time.
Regards
Dave Penn;
Good luck for the future here is onward & upward as at least you now have a better decision & with some luck they will go back where they belong ■■■
Thanks Ang, things are on an upward curve now, also now all this is over and done with I can grieve for the love of my life taken so young and with so much left to do with her life. I will do everything possible to make sure everything Michelle fought for to make sure her son wasn’t damaged by his biological father is fulfilled, he is already a real credit to her and I know he will go on to make us both very, very proud of him.
Thanks again
Best wishes & Regards
Dave Penn;
Excellent news dave, shame it cost you the money though zbing scumbags.
Since Michelle passed away in Feb; my stepson has been getting on my case to stop smoking and in May I got some Nicotine patches from my GP and was doing really well with them, cut down at least 50%, but after a month I forgot to get some more off him and my smoking crept back up again. Anyway since all the family court stuff has been settled I’ve given it another shot and have only smoked 8 rolly’s in the last 3 weeks and that’s 10 days without any at all. I feel much better in the morning’s and seem to have a bit more energy, but it is still early day’s and I’m determined to sack it for good, I’m not bothered by other people’s smoke and don’t seem to be getting craving’s. The thing that does get to me though is seeing people spark up on television or in a film, weird eh 
Regards
Dave Penn;
I gave up in Feb due to my cancer, but still crave most days and find it especialy hard when folk are smoking around me, but must agree Dave I can feel the benifit, no blocked nose, and taste and smell senses are much better.
On the realy bad days I have one of those electronic ■■■■, but try not to use it as it gives a nicotine boost and thats the drug I am looking to get off.
Still not smoking so that’s almost a month gone by, using patches but have given up on the nicotine spray and will be working the dosage of the patches down over the next month or so.
I’ve haven’t had any big cravings or even the desire to smoke, really hope I can crack it this time coz I feel a lot better in the mornings than I used to do and the house doesn’t smell, my clothes don’t smell and my breath doesn’t smell of cigarette smoke any longer 
That can only be a good thing
Regards
Dave Penn;
Keep it going Dave, not wanting to discourage, but I found the first bit easy, then hit the wall about 3 months in, but I suppose understandable with all that was going on, still use the electronic, and with a big meeting with the consultant due later this week that has took a beating, but do not take that first ■■■.
Well dave, you’ve done youself & your stepson proud, how you’ve kept everything together at such a traumatic time. I’m so glad that things are looking more settled for you & your young lad too. I send my best wishes to both of you , & wish you every success for your futures.
bonnie lass:
Well dave, you’ve done youself & your stepson proud, how you’ve kept everything together at such a traumatic time. I’m so glad that things are looking more settled for you & your young lad too. I send my best wishes to both of you , & wish you every success for your futures.
^^^ This
Well done on the stopping smoking
Still not smoking and nearly off the patches
Regards
Dave Penn;
davepenn54:
Still not smoking and nearly off the patchesRegards
Dave Penn;
Good hope all is well
Well done Dave,keep using the patches as long as you feel the need, but don’t light up. still using the electronic one, and resisting temptation.
Shall we keep it up together
@duracell, thanks for the support mate, hope things are ok for you 
I’m sure just getting through each day can be tough at times but you’ve got mates on here and me and you are giving the ciggie’s up together, no giving in now
All the best mate
Regards
Dave Penn;