You fall asleep on the sofa soon after getting in from work.
When you get backache BEFORE you get to work!
When you start typing a post then…
forget what you were going to say. 
the wifes mother starts to look good
jon
you look in the window of marks and spencers and think “my, thats a nice cardigan”
That’s not old Dave, that’s just downright scary. 
You wake up for work before the alarm clock goes off!
When it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.
Pat Hasler:
When it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.
LOL!!!
Should that not be?
When it takes you 2 minutes to do what you did all night?
Bully
Bully:
Pat Hasler:
When it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.LOL!!!
Should that not be?
When it takes you 2 minutes to do what you did all night?
Bully
Sumfink like that!
Policemen start calling you sir… 
When snow aint fun anymore 
Bully
When the kids start bathing YOU!!! 
Bully:
When snow aint fun anymoreBully
You must be getting the same as I am at the moment
It’s 6" and we expect 2ft by tomorrow.
… Behaving badly is excused as senility. 
Your girlfriends ten years younger than you .
Everything tastes like chicken 
.
TheBigOne:
Your girlfriends ten years younger than youEverything tastes like chicken
Now heres something more shocking than that. A few yeras ago I was single and dated some younger women. One very attractive young lady used to eye me up at the local, one night we talked and she came home for ‘COFFEE’ ------------- as we walked in to the house my teenage son was watching tv and i introduced her to him, “I know Sarah already” said my son, “We are in the same class”
Sarah only got coffee that night and thats all I got too.
You know you’re getting old when…
You sit with your kids watching “Top of the Pops” saying"What a load of crap!"
Or your bosses are all younger than you!!(I’m only 33!!) 
Dan.
When Radio One is NOT on any of your pre-select buttons.
When you fall asleep on the sofa before you go to work
When the barber offers you a discount as there’s so little to cut
When you can remember all the original versions of the songs on TOTP’s
A few possibilities dreamt up :
Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work. 
The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals. 
You feel like the night after, and you haven’t been anywhere.
You get winded playing chess.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You’re still chasing women but can’t remember why.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions. 
You look forward to a dull evening.
You walk with your head high trying to get used to your bifocals.
Your favorite part of the newspaper is “25 Years Ago Today…”
You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going. 
Your knees buckle and your belt won’t.
You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a
second coat.
Dialing long distance wears you out.
You’re startled the first time you are addressed as an old timer.
You just can’t stand people who are intolerant.
The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm.
Your back goes out more often than you do.
A fortune teller offers to read your face.
Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.
The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife. 
You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.