Doomsday Requirements From Boris

Make sure you buy plenty of bog roll
There is no getting away from it people are going to die, the quicker the better so keep the schools open and the horse raceing going
Do not panic there is plenty of bog roll for everyone
We like to do things only when the horse has bolted out the gate that’s why you should not panic
Think of the money we will save if lots of people die all them pensions we won’t have to pay out anymore

Are you ok? [emoji23]

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