Driving down a road at night in the dark looking for a layby went past one without seeing it then passed another P sign to late so slowed down ready for next one, never saw a P sign but saw a pullin so drove in and shut curtains next morning opened them and im parked in someones driveway.
On an industrial estate with a Daf 75 6x2 generator truck. Was parked up awaiting further instructions, suddenly the shout came through on the hurry-up. Looked around, that tarmac frontage of those offices is ideal for a turnaround - it was only when the old lorry stopped moving backwards did I realise the worst.
Yup, it was a beautiful smooth lawn and underneath the sodium lighting it looked grey.
A very nice man in a wrecker pulled me out and we cleared off rapidly.
I’d arrived in the dark in my defence and also been on shift for about 14 hrs.
Anyway about a year later found myself nearby so went to have a look…and the grooves were still there. 
I don’t know if this is embarrassing or not but people have been showing me stuff right left and centre. Like the guy at the desk asked me if I could do tail lifts. I nodded having done them on class two but class one was different. I spent back there trying to turn the ■■■■ taillift on but it wouldn’t budge. So I decided to ask another driver and he said I need to put the tail lift cable then do it. smack forehead lol
Then I delivered to the tesco store and opened the back and all the cages were ratchet straps. I had no idea how to do ratchets so the kind guy at tesco showed me (i know them now). It was my first time ever doing them. Really learning all the things at the moment.
Sticking my head out of the window to reverse, window was up…got a nosebleed.
Many moons ago and not long passed class 1, working at a brewery on the dray’s delivering ale, had agency lad with me doing the maps and paperwork.
He said next pubs top of the road in Wigan centre so we did the drop about 6 tonne of ale dropped down the cellar onto the mats and put away, gets back the yard to finish paperwork and gets pulled to one side and asked why I’d not delivered to a pub in Wigan !
Checked the notes the agency monkey had and we’d only dropped at the wrong place so got sent back following morning with some rope and had to pull the F ing lot out of the cellar, guess who got the job off roping back out the cellar, didn’t see him again after that week, odd that really ha ha
Forum standards are on the up. I was expecting mostly toilet related tales when I clicked on this thread.
GORDON 50:
Sticking my head out of the window to reverse, window was up…got a nosebleed.
Going back on to right hand drives and jumping in the passenger side… at least once every bloody day for about a fortnight. 
Mine was last year, first time driving a left ■■■■■■. First of all went to reverse to the right and leant over the bunk(forgot I was on the wrong side and went for the window! Doh!!)
Then when I arrived at my destination, there were trailers parked all over the place and whilst manoeuvring managed to take the righ hand mirror off on a lamppost! Fair to say I stick with right hand drive now!
Then there was my first ever blindside reverse, I was on a night shift delivering to Waitrose RDC in Bracknell, I decided to attempt it blindside as I was feeling confident… Boy did I overestimate my ability at that time (passed for about 3 months). Took me a solid hour I swear. But I got her on… Eventually…
Mine is probably admitting I am a binman. Lol
After driving all night half way through French France, finally gave up and pulled into a services south of LYON somewhere, laid in bed busting for a wee, finally gave up jumped out and wet the wheels when, of course, 2 bus loads of French charabangs parked next to me, I’m in full camel flow and get greeted with 129 bonjours…
GORDON 50:
Sticking my head out of the window to reverse, window was up…got a nosebleed.
In the factories we pick up from we have to wear hard hats so the amount of times got back into my unit (Daf cf) with my hard hat on then gone to reverse and banged my head albeit with hard hat on .
Ive made shed loads of errors, but for embarrassment, and looking an idiot in front of your peers: Pulled into a transport companys yard to ask directions into the final leg of my trip. I was only in the wrong town. . .
mac12:
Driving down a road at night in the dark looking for a layby went past one without seeing it then passed another P sign to late so slowed down ready for next one, never saw a P sign but saw a pullin so drove in and shut curtains next morning opened them and im parked in someones driveway.
No you didnt.
That story was going around, when Nelson Mandela was doing Borstal.
2 pages and still nobody came up with the ■■■■■■■■ in a tipper/bus load of nuns yarn claiming it to be them yet.
Standards are definitely slipling on this forum, I’ve seen the day when it would be second post. 
Mines was giving a driver directions to were i was goin instead of were he wanted to be.I then proceeded to drive to the wrong place and sent the other driver to were i should have been lets say it did not go down well with anyone.
I once had a crap in the back of a tipper when a bus load of nuns pulled up along side.
Driving a 1952 Bedford coal lorry round a corner too fast and losing several bags of coal. In my defence I was only 14 at the time and couldn’t reach the pedals being only 5’ 1"
Tiger
mick.mh2racing:
I once had a crap in the back of a tipper when a bus load of nuns pulled up along side.
Way heyyy!
robroy:
mick.mh2racing:
I once had a crap in the back of a tipper when a bus load of nuns pulled up along side.Way heyyy!
What do I win? Please say it’s a goldfish.