It should never happen to anyone with what happened to you to experience that is hell
It’s impossible to even guess what was going through a person’s mind when they do that and I’d guess the experts don’t even know why they choose as to which way they want to do it
You need to get help if you can’t get past it
If you can get past it without help just get back on the horse and get on with it
Good luck
Same advice as others, seek professional help and talk to friends and family who will listen, so at the very least they know a bit about what’s going on in your head in case you’re acting differently to usual. I had a pretty traumatic event last year, not the same as you but rocked me all the same, and I should have got help far sooner than I did. I ended up worrying a lot of friends and family because I closed up, didn’t talk to anyone and just focused on an ever decreasing spiral of ■■■■ thoughts in my head. From my point of view I thought I was doing absolutely fine until I realised one night I really wasn’t, so make that step. And yes, going to the GP and asking for help from mental health services will probably feel ■■■■ to start with, I felt like I didn’t deserve their help, there were people far worse than me etc etc. but they were great and they’ve been a good part of my recovery so far. All in all, don’t bottle it up, talk to people you trust and ask the professionals for help.
And on robroy’s point, people really don’t think rationally when they’re in that state, or most of them wouldn’t even be trying to kill themselves at all. All that’s going through their heads is “Big lorry heavy and fast, I’m small and squishy, almost certain of success, rock on”.
Chief Beef:
peterm:
17 years old and three months after passing my test and driving my dads minor van, a bloke ran into the side of it and scrambled his brains outside of his skull. Took him six days to die. I was exonerated from blame through witness statements, but the only counselling I got was a ratbag copper doing me because the number plate bulb had gone out. It hasn’t affected me and I was straight back in the saddle, but we’re all different and I’m not sure that counselling would have helped me. It’s probably all down to the temperament of the driver involved.Perfect signature for that post.
Sorry mate, don’t get it.
peterm:
Chief Beef:
peterm:
17 years old and three months after passing my test and driving my dads minor van, a bloke ran into the side of it and scrambled his brains outside of his skull. Took him six days to die. I was exonerated from blame through witness statements, but the only counselling I got was a ratbag copper doing me because the number plate bulb had gone out. It hasn’t affected me and I was straight back in the saddle, but we’re all different and I’m not sure that counselling would have helped me. It’s probably all down to the temperament of the driver involved.Perfect signature for that post.
Oh well it just seemed to me on first reading that maybe the incident still bothered you on some deep level and that it might be worth addressing. “I’ll fix that later” kinda sums up an attitude to trauma people often have, usually in tough jobs, armed forces etc. and then it maybe causes them problems later in life. All I’m saying is nobody’s a ■■■■■ for getting something straightened out in their head. I know a lot of people today have meltdowns when their pumpkin spiced latte is made with full fat rather than skimmed but seriously if you’re still thinking about something in the past, then maybe you haven’t come to terms with it. Some people it just eats away at, some it breaks.
robroy:
Is nobody going to mention the Elephant in the room here, since last time when this was brought up, and all the sh the guy got for bringing it up?It’s undeniable the tragedy of any type of suicide, and what must go through these people’s minds to feel the need to carry it out…, I accept all that and (genuinely) do sympathise.
However the question has to be asked…Why involve some poor innocent guy just going about his daily job, especially when it can, and usually does, affect him for the rest of his life in different degrees of severity.
If anybody wants to do this there are numerous ways to do it by themselves.Ok, bring on the stick I don’t care, but I did say I do sympathise with these people on the whole,.and understand there are people on here who have had relations that have been reduced to this, so I apologise if I offend.
I think, I posted the same reply on the last thread. People who are depressed to the point of being suicidal aren’t thinking rationally. All they are thinking is how they can’t cope with getting through that day.
Chief Beef:
peterm:
Chief Beef:
peterm:
17 years old and three months after passing my test and driving my dads minor van, a bloke ran into the side of it and scrambled his brains outside of his skull. Took him six days to die. I was exonerated from blame through witness statements, but the only counselling I got was a ratbag copper doing me because the number plate bulb had gone out. It hasn’t affected me and I was straight back in the saddle, but we’re all different and I’m not sure that counselling would have helped me. It’s probably all down to the temperament of the driver involved.Perfect signature for that post.
Oh well it just seemed to me on first reading that maybe the incident still bothered you on some deep level and that it might be worth addressing. “I’ll fix that later” kinda sums up an attitude to trauma people often have, usually in tough jobs, armed forces etc. and then it maybe causes them problems later in life. All I’m saying is nobody’s a ■■■■■ for getting something straightened out in their head. I know a lot of people today have meltdowns when their pumpkin spiced latte is made with full fat rather than skimmed but seriously if you’re still thinking about something in the past, then maybe you haven’t come to terms with it. Some people it just eats away at, some it breaks.
Now I see what you’re getting at, but it just doesn’t bother me. It is something that I could never forget, but it only comes to mind in a thread like this. Maybe if it had been at least partly my fault, I could have gone through the mill, but who knows. I just consider meself lucky that there’s no after effects.
robroy:
Is nobody going to mention the Elephant in the room here, since last time when this was brought up, and all the sh the guy got for bringing it up?It’s undeniable the tragedy of any type of suicide, and what must go through these people’s minds to feel the need to carry it out…, I accept all that and (genuinely) do sympathise.
However the question has to be asked…Why involve some poor innocent guy just going about his daily job, especially when it can, and usually does, affect him for the rest of his life in different degrees of severity.
If anybody wants to do this there are numerous ways to do it by themselves.Ok, bring on the stick I don’t care, but I did say I do sympathise with these people on the whole,.and understand there are people on here who have had relations that have been reduced to this, so I apologise if I offend.
I actually agree with you,if your intent on commiting suicide and nothing will change your mind then have a bottle of whisky and pills and lay down,if it works you get your wish and don’t harm anyone else,if it does not and you are found in time then you get professional help in sorting your desire to die and hopefully sort your life out for the better.
The fact of the matter is however you choose to do it it will always affect someone, even with whiskey and pills someone will find you. I imagine for some they would rather die like this to save their loved ones finding them dead, like others have said by time anyone gets to this stage logic has long gone out of the window
You can’t expect some poor sod, driven to the edge for whatever reasons where suicide becomes the only option to be thinking clearly and rationally about the implications, for others, of what they see as their only way out.
There but for the grace of God go any of us.
Juddian:
My sympathy too.
I suspect there could be problems if you say too much in public before the inquest has ruled on cause of death, so possibly best if you don’t expand on the details.Hope your company are being supportive during this time, and by time i don’t mean a weekend off either, getting over this might be a long drawn out affair.
Nice one. Kill the thread before it gets going. zzzzZZZZZ idiot
After one particularly horrific RTI where we were asked to help recover the bodies one of the fire brigade chaps scribbled a name & number down & told us we could call any hour any day.
The way it was told to me :
One day a chap is walking down the street & he falls down into this great big hole, it’s too deep to climb out of & the sides are very slippery, so he just waits there till someone comes along. After a few days he’s feeling very lonely, very hungry & very cold so he starts shouting out for help. A doctor comes along & peers down into the hole, the chap says “hey doc, I’m stuck down this hole, can you help us out”? The doctor scribbles out a prescription & hurriedly moves on. Then a priest walks by & happens to glance in the hole, “hey father, I’m stuck down this hole, can you give us a hand up”? The priest scribbles out a prayer, throws it down the hole & shuffles away.
After a few weeks have passed by the chaps friends & family are becoming increasingly concerned so they form a search party & go out looking for him. One of the friends thinks he has a good idea where the chap is & soon comes across the hole, but he’s alone, he shouts down into the hole “hey, are you OK”? The chap shouts back “yes, but go & get more help, Im stuck down this hole & I can’t find a way out”. The friend then jumps down into the hole. “Are you f#kk!n stupid, now we’re both stuck down this hole” the chap screams out. The friend replies “yes, but I’ve been down here before, & I know the way out”.
You need to talk, don’t bottle it up because it does get out and it will bite you back.
This shot is an imprint of the geezers body after he jumped out in front of this R112 at the top of the University hill northbound on the M6 at Lancaster. He was stood on the hard shoulder in front of his car with the bonnet up then he jumps straight out in front of the Scania, apparently there was plenty of witnesses and they said he got lifted 20 ft in the air ! The motor was fully freighted at 38 ton and doing 58 MPH. Shook our lad up badly and do you know what this geezer was, a Uni Professor from Preston, and he had tried twice before to commit “Hari Kari” first by using a piece of rope which was too long when he jumped out of the trap door on his stairs landing
The second attempt was when he tried to cut his throat with a blunt bread knife ! 
But he made a right decent job of it with the Scania. At the inquest in Lancaster his family tried to say it was just a tragic accident so they could claim his life insurance but The Coroner and our Solicitor and Insurers were having none of it and he was proved to have been an unstable ■■■■ and the verdict was Suicide ! My sympathy is with any other driver, including train drivers that this heinous crime has been inflicted upon. Bewick.
Bewick:
0
This shot is an imprint of the geezers body after he jumped out in front of this R112 at the top of the University hill northbound on the M6 at Lancaster. He was stood on the hard shoulder in front of his car with the bonnet up then he jumps straight out in front of the Scania, apparently there was plenty of witnesses and they said he got lifted 20 ft in the air ! The motor was fully freighted at 38 ton and doing 58 MPH. Shook our lad up badly and do you know what this geezer was, a Uni Professor from Preston, and he had tried twice before to commit “Hari Kari” first by using a piece of rope which was too long when he jumped out of the trap door on his stairs landing
Very harsh words and its not right that the family were looking for compo but where does the word crime come into it outside of religion
To the op -
This is in no way your fault.
I can be sure that the person doing it didn’t even think of your truck as anything other than a vehicle. They wouldn’t have thought of how it affected you.
People are right in that any logical thinking person would see that there is obviously going to be a driver who would be affected.
Trouble is, for whatever reason, they aren’t being logical or rational.
Your truck was just a means to an end. Unfortunately literally.
I can (and this I can voice from experience) say that the family will be probably confused and clutching at any straws they can to try and understand why.
You can’t answer that for them but you know deep down there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. You are not a mind reader.
This sounds flippant but unfortunately it’s accurate - you were unlucky to have got caught up in someone else’s mess. Nothing more. Nothing less.
One other thing - talk to someone. Anyone.
I consider myself quite mentally resilient. In a previous career I could always distance myself or switch off to it.
I thought I could do the same when it was closer to home. I had to be there for everyone else.
Took two months but in the end I cracked a little. Huge panic attack and sort of lost it.
I was forced by my family to get help.
No - not an asylum! I just spoke to a councillor a few times. Someone who is not tied into it all. The little bit of distance gives them a good viewpoint. Rightly or wrongly - friends and family often just say what you want to hear.
Looking back - I obviously felt awful anyway - I shouldn’t have and didn’t need to put myself through anymore stress. I should have nipped it in the bud.
first id just like to say thankyou to you all for your help and advice. its taken me a while to get up to posting a reply but seeing the support from here has been a big help.
not going to go into details about what happened just in case.
suicide is a very complicated subject and I wasn’t trying to cause any hassle by bringing it up. I’m not angry or anything against the man as he obviously having a very bad time. and I have also been told I did everything I could and it wasn’t my fault which I don’t fell like it is.
I’m not sure how I’m coping atm, I feel a bit fragile at times and just want to stay home watching tv most of the time coz that feels safe but doing my best to get out and talk to family and friends who have all been fantastic with me.
work have been fantastic with me and have only been concerned about my wellbeing. the day it happened a manager went on a near 600 mile round trip to bring me home, and the office have given me paid time off to get myself right.
I went to my gp on Monday and didn’t get the help I thought I would get, basically he gave me a number for councelling but made it clear that they probably wont take me as I’m not that bad and if they don’t I have to go back in 2 weeks and he will then refer me to them. which crushed me at the time. I have since rang the number and have an assessment on Monday.
lastly I haven’t had a problem driving since it happened, iv been out in my car most days and feel fine driving but obviously wont know how I am in my truck until I get back behind that wheel but I don’t think that will be a problem.
sorry for rambling on but wanted to get it out there.
thankyou all for your help again
Good to hear your update.
I’m glad you seem to have back up from work and everyone around you. It’s also good that you are being level headed about what happened and accepting that there was nothing you could do.
GP’s don’t always seem the best at dealing with anything non physical.
See how you go, but I used a private councillor - can’t recall the exact cost but about £80 per session.
paddy1882:
sorry for rambling on but wanted to get it out there.
thankyou all for your help again
You need to talk about it, you really do not want this bottled up inside you. IME just about anyone who knows you & who’se opinions you respect will gladly sit down with you & just listen.
You do not know how you really feel about something until you start talking about it.
Shrinks are paid to listen & the advice they offer is medically proven, but they’re paid to listen & like to string it out a bit . . . like any profession that isn’t actually manual labour !
BTW. Did you catch Jeremy Whines slot on psychopaths today? The combat soldiers who aren’t sufferring some level of PTSD are highly likely to be psychopaths !
paddy1882:
unfortunately I was on the receiving end of this on Thursday and having a tough time at the minute. just wondering if anyone here has been through this or something similar and if they have any advice
That’s rough mate, one of our drivers was involved in a similar incident some time back, some sad geezer drove head on into the front of his truck at 100 MPH, by some miracle he survived but was in a coma for a couple of months, during the eventual court case he appologised for involving our driver who was unable to drive a truck ever again, the shock had disturbed him that much.
The fact the GP didn’t take it that seriously is pretty ■■■■ tbh, and is a sad symptom of mental health treatment in the NHS in general that they only get interested once you’re really far down the hole. Preventative measures would be so much cheaper and more effective in the long run, much like a vaccine compared to treating measles. Sorry, rant over. Glad your company’s looking after you well though, top marks to them for that. Just keep on it and tell friends when you’re feeling ■■■■, it’s not whining or moaning, it’s letting them know you’re not that great today or this week or whatever so that they’re aware. Keep doing stuff that makes you happy as well. (Much innuendo to be drawn from this I’m sure but if it works why not?)
Paddy1882, having gone through the same experience as you, I would be happy to “chat it through” with you either online or directly if you feel as if you need to - just PM me,
Ed