jj72:
as to prove the usefulness of safety gear sometimes - been wearing hard hats for years and never even so much as brushed me head on anything…
The ONLY time I wear my hard hat I actually find I do bump my head into things, whether it be that lump of concrete (aka Bridge Ceiling) or a tree or summat…
Coffeeholic:
muckles:
Rikki-UK:
Did you swear??
NO…
I was too busy whimpering gently
I reckon you might have said something like “Oh Blow that smarts some what”
No, he would have said [zb]
How do you pronounce [zb] when your brain is being flooded in waves of agony and reminders of your stupidity… 
How do you pronounce [zb] when your brain is being flooded in waves of agony and reminders of your stupidity…
It is a silent Z and silent B
It sounds a bit like “snuffle, sob, Oh god that hurt, sniff ,snuffle, sob” repeat unitl the the ambulance arrives 
Rikki-UK:
How do you pronounce [zb] when your brain is being flooded in waves of agony and reminders of your stupidity…
It is a silent Z and silent B
It sounds a bit like “snuffle, sob, Oh god that hurt, sniff ,snuffle, sob” repeat unitl the the ambulance arrives
When it happened, did you know you’d need an ambulance or did you call it yourself??
I figured I was “Dazed” and could continue until it was pointed out I was missing an attachment by my customer. Namely, my arm. At that point I kinda gave up on the rest of the work day 
Rikki-UK:
How do you pronounce [zb] when your brain is being flooded in waves of agony and reminders of your stupidity…
It is a silent Z and silent B
It sounds a bit like “snuffle, sob, Oh god that hurt, sniff ,snuffle, sob” repeat unitl the the ambulance arrives
It’s a good job us girlies are tougher than you lot!!
Wusses!!
Re above - it was me, not Dabes - dunno why it came up as him!!!
David5l:
It’s a good job us girlies are tougher than you lot!!
Wusses!!
With a username of “David” how do you work out you’re a tough girlie 
mrs5l:
Re above - it was me, not Dabes - dunno why it came up as him!!!
Oh, so that’s what you mean then 
if i have to, i’ll have a pee under neath my trailer, behind the tractor unit.
well the other week i got a new trailer, a fixed skelly rather than the adjustable one i had been pulling. i didnt realise the new trailer is lower at the front.
Anyway, i crouched down, stepped off the kerb and promptly walked into the trailer.
left me with one very large egg sized lump on my head. luckily id been in the pub so didnt feel much. i think i was more embarrassed cause i was caught on cctv. 
Yep…been there, done that…even worse when you stand up too soon and fall over with your pants around your ankles!!!
I managed to walk backwards off my trailer once, in fact I’ve done a lot of stupid things, but this one was quite funny, for everyone else .
I was loading steel plate and had loaded a 3m x 6m plate in the middle of my trailer. A few plates later, I was guiding a 2.5m x 12m plate into position, walking backwards along the 3m wide plate and just carried on walking when I got to the end of it. It was about a 5 foot drop but I managed a kind of half jump as I stepped off, so managed to land on my feet and roll onto my back, instead of landing flat on my back. I was also very lucky not to get the corner of a steel plate catching me anywhere.
Ok then…
I was sat in my cab with my coat on and i keep my car keys (which is quite a big bunch) in my right hand pocket of said coat.
now anyone that drives a Daf cf (new shape) will know that the left hand grab rail (as you enter the truck) is quite close in height and proximity to the drivers seat.
So im sat there with my coat on but unzipped so the sides of my coat are hanging down either side of my lap,
Now sometimes (i dont know why) i exit vehicle by going forwards out the door heel on step and away, as opposed to turning around and exiting in the proper manner.
As i did on this occasion, But the problem was as i got off the seat - the seat lifts (as do all air ride seats) trapping my pocketed keys between the seat and the grab rail…
I go flying out the cab and i am swung round and left hanging sideways in mid air clinging to the outside of my cab doing my best “MISSION IMPOSSIBLE” impersination … Tom cruise woulda been proud 
Luckily for me no one saw me…
Used to work for a roofing company 20 years ago, the night before me and my mate John had gone to a site to clear it, we had some roofing sheets ( which are those that you see industrial buildings made out of, like rdc’s ) that were about 30 foot long so they would not fit on the back of my little cargo so we leave the tailboerd up and put them on that and over the roof easy.
Gets in to work next morning and John is there with a forklift lifting the back up and putting a pallet under them to level them so we can fork them off, well the first time they slid towards the forklift, so muppet here jumps up and puts the pallet back under and stays there which way do they fall this time to me now we have two problems, first there must have been a couple of ton there, and second they can be quite sharp, i figured if i mananged to get down below the level of the boards they would miss me, figured wrong, i think they hit me on my shoulder and knocked me over the side trapping my right arm which made a funny noise like a piece of wood being broken, but luckily by doing that it made me fall straight down the side of lorry so when they hit the floor they missed me, apparently just missing my head.
The result one broken arm, one broken collar bone, one fractured collar bone, the odd rib broken and a sore ankle, and one lesson learnt. six month’s off work full wage every week.
One day i went to clear a site in Tonypandy, on the way round the back of the building i jumped over a puddle, picked two 20 foot youngman boards up and this time stepped in the puddle, 3 feet later i stopped wet through red faced, wetting myself laughing
This driving malarky is quite a learning experience isn’t it
Dafman:
Used to work for a roofing company 20 years ago,
Me to
Anyway one day we’re stripping a roof out, and we have a shoot down to the skip, so there i’am trying to un block all this rubbish stuck in the shoot could’nt budge it, along comes Pete the tiler i was labouring for , “what’s rhe hold up” he says "its blocked "i reply "get out the way i’ll shift it " and with that he hops in the top of shoot and starts to jump on the rubbish, then disappeared down the shoot, we rush down to the skip and undo the tarpaulin to get him out, the site of this short stocky bloke emerging from the a cloud of dust with flat cap still in place still amuses me to this day, and his 1st words on emerging were “i forgot to crab the sides” well i never, .
One of numerous silly things i’ve done was to lift myself into the back of a tilt using one of the cargo boards, well it broke and i returned to earth with a bump
Working for a company with deep pockets and short arms, we were despatched to collect a 16 ton forklift and 2 container frames. I had tried to organise a professional carrier, but that was too expensive, so a friend of mine was drafted in with a low loader. We managed to load the lift truck with no problems, it was when we were lifting the frames onto my flat trailer when one slipped. I ended up with this 4 tonne frame bouncing off my knee that hurt a lot, I was taken to hospital and spent 9 months in a cast and leg brace.
Thats what doing favours does for you
Reef:
Ok then…I was sat in my cab with my coat on and i keep my car keys (which is quite a big bunch) in my right hand pocket of said coat.
now anyone that drives a Daf cf (new shape) will know that the left hand grab rail (as you enter the truck) is quite close in height and proximity to the drivers seat.
So im sat there with my coat on but unzipped so the sides of my coat are hanging down either side of my lap,
Now sometimes (i dont know why) i exit vehicle by going forwards out the door heel on step and away, as opposed to turning around and exiting in the proper manner.As i did on this occasion, But the problem was as i got off the seat - the seat lifts (as do all air ride seats) trapping my pocketed keys between the seat and the grab rail…
I go flying out the cab and i am swung round and left hanging sideways in mid air clinging to the outside of my cab doing my best “MISSION IMPOSSIBLE” impersination … Tom cruise woulda been proud
Luckily for me no one saw me…
Owned . Done exactly the same thing on mine except I did it on the right hand grab bar. I had something in my hand and as I stepped down, whatever it was in my hand got caught between my palm, the grab rail and the side of the dash board. I think it was the ignition keys actually, and they sliced right into my hand causing me a lot of pain and nearly ripping my arm of its socket as I was stood on the ground by the this point but my hand was still wrapped round the grab rail. 
eddie snax:
Anyway one day we’re stripping a roof out, and we have a shoot down to the skip, so there i’am trying to un block all this rubbish stuck in the shoot could’nt budge it, along comes Pete the tiler i was labouring for , “what’s rhe hold up” he says "its blocked "i reply "get out the way i’ll shift it " and with that he hops in the top of shoot and starts to jump on the rubbish, then disappeared down the shoot
FFFFFFFFPMSL !!!
THAT’S THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE READ IN A LONG TIME!! I can just picture it too. [zb] hell that’s funny . Tears rolling down my cheeks as I type, I can hardly see the screen .
This threads funny!
I fell out the side of a curtainsider once, curtain was open. took 2 crates of rather expensive wine with me though
Gone backwards off a tail lift (who hasn’t) shortly followed by a cage of frozen ready meals!
Got banged on the head by my own tipper body last year, just tipped off, let the box down and jumped out for a pee, on the fm there is enough space to stand between the back of the cab and the front of the box. So there i am, peeing away, and the box comes down, banged with each step of the ram, and then I headbut the exhaust stack after being smacked on the head by the bottom edge of the box! I waited for the box to come down fully before going for pee after that!
Jumped out my cab and went straight down the side of a soil bund, we were on top, bund was roughly 70 foot high,! Top to bottom on my bum, was watched by every machine operator in the place, who promptly fell about laughing!
Nothing to do with trucks or me but it deserves to be in here to make me laugh out loud 
When I was a lad we used to follow the RAC Rally around the country as marshalls and a friend of mine Lynn was with us.
During the night we had parked by the forest stage waiting for the cars to come into our section. as it got light Lynn got out of the car we were sleeping in to go for a pee. She had seen this little hedge behind the car and wandered over.
All of a sudden there was such a scream and a whoosh. Lynn had stepped over this hedge only to find out it was a 200 foot pine tree as she slid down the mountainside
Of course she got loads of sympathy and I still remember her screaming, Help Ive got pine cones in my knickers
That headbanging trailer bit. Couldn’t hack it after the third time.(Third time 
Hurt. Then stung. I got a bit hot all of a sudden and felt a bit sick. How could i forget. Got a nice scab for my trouble). So i banned myself from under. I now pee alongside, as close to. And long may this last.