It’s not who you thought it was but well worth a read if you have a sense of humour----------------------------------------
ANDY ROONEY ON ■■■! For those who are unaware, Andy Rooney was a famous US war correspondent and quintessential American commentator who only recently passed away in his mid nineties.
For adults only, who have a sense of humour!
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When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory… I don’t remember what I chose.
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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
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A wife is a ■■■ object. Every time you ask for ■■■, she objects.
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Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings…”
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There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.
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■■■■■■■: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
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There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try weakly.
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Virginity can be cured.
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Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.
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Having ■■■ is like playing bridge - if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
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I tried ■■■■■■■■■ once, but the holes in the dial were too small.
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Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
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Question: What’s an Australian kiss?
Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under. -
A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
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Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life?
Answer: Life ■■■■■, job ■■■■■ and the wife doesn’t. -
Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Answer: Breasts don’t have eyes. -
Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives!
