Traffic warden " Dies"
fruneral Burial knock on coffin
I’m not dead
Vicar " Sorry mate but just made the paperwork out "
Sorry but I have been keeping your pensions topped up also busy with son just taken him back up ( although he will be back next week for hospital appointment ) & a couple other personal problems which are being sorted
rastone:
Traffic warden " Dies"fruneral Burial knock on coffin
I’m not dead
Vicar " Sorry mate but just made the paperwork out "
Woman is at the funeral home to say goodbye to her husband before they shut the lid.
She bursts into tears -“He wanted to go in his blue suit - that one’s black”
Funeral Director leads her back to the waiting room.
5 minutes pass and he invites her back.
Hubby is looking splendid in a blue suit.
“How did you do that?”
The Funeral Director replies " we have another in the fridge and he was wearing a blue suit"
“You changed him that fast?”
“No, I swapped heads!”
Apologies to those who are sensitive. Jim.
I think i may be the oldest member up to date 83 year old on 28 June 2016 still doing part time driving jobs keeps me fit johnboydor
Part time driving?? 
I’d need a bloody stairlift to get mounted on one of todays modern motors…and I don’t like the fancy auto boxes, Fuller man for ever.
Today I am a man of leisure, a walk, a pint at lunchtime, a bit of young lady ogling in the summertime, what’s not to like? Stuff the lorries, I’ve done my bit, what time I have left is all my own. 
grumpy old man:
Part time driving??
Today I am a man of leisure, a walk, a pint at lunchtime, a bit of young lady ogling in the summertime, what’s not to like? Stuff the lorries, I’ve done my bit, what time I have left is all my own.
Hiya,
Grumps I’m with you 100% I wouldn’t clamber into a shed for constant double time
and with no handball and no roping and sheeting and the driving done for you it’d
be awfully long days, no driving’s not what it was and I’m the happiest guy in the
world to be out of it.
thanks harry, long retired.
Don’t misunderstand me folks, I enjoyed my working life on the road, I got 100% job satisfaction, good tackle, good mates, good (yes) management etc. But I did 49 years at it, it’s over now, I’ve no desire to mount a lorry again, I’ve done my bit…leave it to the younger fellas now.
Today it’s a bit too hot for an old man to be walking so, I’ll sit in my yard with a regular supply of cold beverages served by my lovely 
domestic staff, and soak up a few rays.
Hiya,
I was once asked why I gave up long distance work and driving heavies at age 59,
I informed the questioneer that I’d checked my finances at age 21 and couldn’t
afford to at that time I did however drive little stuff round the doors until I hit
the pension handing in the keys of an Astra van on my last day whilst still getting
my HGV rate of pay and home every night.
thanks harry, long retired.
Hiya,
Just wondering are there any budding “poets” other than me and I do make that remark very loosely I cobbled this bit of prose together in about 5 minutes whilst giving the weeds in my garden “a good coat of looking at” and when reading it back I can’t see one untrue word anywhere, well here goes.
I’ve ne’er gone in for air horns, or shiny alloy wheels,
Those light bars with a million spots, did nowt at all for me,
The vehicle wash, now where is that, I’ve never seen the thing,
Dusters polish and smelly’s I’ve put them in the bin.
Many bollocking’s I have had, cos you couldn’t see the gaffer’s name,
But never got a telling off for not earning brass fert same.
I never yearned for sleeper cabs, night heaters weren’t for me,
I liked to get the thing parked up, and go and get my tea,
Clean bed good food and spotless digs a must a working shower,
Then nice clean clothes and out on’t town, To find a happy hour.
thanks harry, long retired.
Brilliant Harry, I would bet my house that a man of your calibre must of been to Oxford or Cambridge at one time or another.
I just have to repeat a quote that “the maoster” posted in Bully’s Bar that certainly gave me a chuckle.
“My old school teacher told me that I’d never make a living from staring out of a window all day”. 
mushroomman:
Brilliant Harry, I would bet my house that a man of your calibre must of been to Oxford or Cambridge at one time or another.
I just have to repeat a quote that “the maoster” posted in Bully’s Bar that certainly gave me a chuckle.
“My old school teacher told me that I’d never make a living from staring out of a window all day”.
Hiya,
Aye’ Mushroomman, Oxford and Cambridge and just about every other town in the
UK I did a lot of paint wholesalers and retailers from Crown Paints back in the day,
I did spend most of my schooldays playing truant and left school barely able to
read and write I did get stuck into an army education course when in the forces
and got through with quite high marks, maybe I couldn’t “escape” from there, lol
thanks harry, long retired.
Hello Harry, wasn’t Crown Paints (or was it Crown Wallpaper) in Darwin from what I can still remember 
I used to deliver stuff there from I.C.I.
In fact I.C.I. also had a place in Darwin where they made Perspex and the area that I delivered to had a sign saying “eye protection must be worn” so I used to go to their stores and say that I hadn’t got any. They would give me a brand new pair wrapped in plastic which I always forgot to take back. 
I must be down to my last two pairs now which are still in the shed.
mushroomman:
Hello Harry, wasn’t Crown Paints (or was it Crown Wallpaper) in Darwin from what I can still remember
In fact I.C.I. also had a place in Darwin where they made Perspex and the area that I delivered to had a sign saying “eye protection must be worn” so I used to go to their stores and say that I hadn’t got any. They would give me a brand new pair wrapped in plastic which I always forgot to take back.
Hiya,
Yea’ Mushroomman it’s Darwen with an E, both were there the Wallpaper factory
was in the town centre at the start of Bolton Rd long gone houses now Crown
Paints are still going a bit nearer Blackburn on the B/burn Rd, I don’t know if ICI
are still going I used to do a lot of perspex sheets for London out of there, I did
live quite near the wallpaper factory at one time but left the area 45 years ago.
thanks harry, long retired.
Was that left the area harry , or run out of town ? dave
rigsby:
Was that left the area harry , or run out of town ? dave
Hiya,
Not run out of town Riggers, just a free agent at that time moving on with a new
job to go to and unexplored avenues to be explored, which I did thoroughly.
thanks harry, long retired.
harry_gill:
mushroomman:
Hello Harry, wasn’t Crown Paints (or was it Crown Wallpaper) in Darwin from what I can still remember
In fact I.C.I. also had a place in Darwin where they made Perspex and the area that I delivered to had a sign saying “eye protection must be worn” so I used to go to their stores and say that I hadn’t got any. They would give me a brand new pair wrapped in plastic which I always forgot to take back.Hiya,
Yea’ Mushroomman it’s Darwen with an E, both were there the Wallpaper factory
was in the town centre at the start of Bolton Rd long gone houses now Crown
Paints are still going a bit nearer Blackburn on the B/burn Rd, I don’t know if ICI
are still going I used to do a lot of perspex sheets for London out of there, I did
live quite near the wallpaper factory at one time but left the area 45 years ago.
thanks harry, long retired.
Harry would this have been the one at Potters Branch ■■, Regards Larry.
Lawrence Dunbar:
harry_gill:
mushroomman:
Hello Harry, wasn’t Crown Paints (or was it Crown Wallpaper) in Darwin from what I can still remember
In fact I.C.I. also had a place in Darwin where they made Perspex and the area that I delivered to had a sign saying “eye protection must be worn” so I used to go to their stores and say that I hadn’t got any. They would give me a brand new pair wrapped in plastic which I always forgot to take back.Hiya,
Yea’ Mushroomman it’s Darwen with an E, both were there the Wallpaper factory
was in the town centre at the start of Bolton Rd long gone houses now Crown
Paints are still going a bit nearer Blackburn on the B/burn Rd, I don’t know if ICI
are still going I used to do a lot of perspex sheets for London out of there, I did
live quite near the wallpaper factory at one time but left the area 45 years ago.
thanks harry, long retired.Harry would this have been the one at Potters Branch ■■, Regards Larry.
Hiya,
Larry Potters branch was the big factory in Darwen town centre they did the
wallpaper all gone now all part of the Crown paints group there was one or
two smaller factories in Darwen making specialised papers but don’t know if
they are still going, I think they were all part of Potters.
thanks harry, long retired.
The old ICI plant is still in Darwen Harry but I’m not sure who runs it now? We had our old dog put down a couple of months ago at the vets opposite it and was there at a pub last week for the Mrs birthday. They made all the perspex for aircraft cockpits during the war, the factory, not the vets!
Pete.
windrush:
The old ICI plant is still in Darwen Harry but I’m not sure who runs it now? We had our old dog put down a couple of months ago at the vets opposite it and was there at a pub last week for the Mrs birthday. They made all the perspex for aircraft cockpits during the war, the factory, not the vets!Pete.
Hi Pete Im not being naughty, But its most likely The Chinese, They seem to control lots of British Industrey these days, SAD IMMO, Regards Larry.
Anyway Im off to bed now, Ive had a great day, Ive had a few Dallwhinie Malts, And had a look at what is going on in the Polictal World To-day, So Sod the lot of them Im just going to get on with my life life & my close ones of course, & Have a night cap & HOPE FOR THE ■■■■■■■ BLESSED, Regards Larry.