My mam was diagnosed with this in Jan it is not nice to watch as she has been going downhill for a while but took the Dr a while to give a proper diagnoses
I agree it is horrible to watch & have to deal with as they can change personality
At the moment mam attends a day centre 3 times a week & between us we are trying to help with other things best we can with the help of the crises & welfare team there are also other thing in place for her but it may come 1 day that we have to look closely at a care home for her
It is a hard decision to make but maybe for the best as you may have peace of mind & it will be less of a worry for you
But only you & your family can make the decision at the end of the day as has been said do what is best for him not you
I lost my Auntie last year, (by Marriage) She became so difficult my Uncle (Blood) could not cope, she became violent to him and very abusive to care workers, she just turned into a nut who would talk to the dog and not people. The final straw came on christmas day when she locked Bill out of the house, it was cold and icy, he had taken the dog out and she refused to let him back in. He is 84, she was 86. A nosey neighbour called the police when they saw him climbing over a wall They werer going to arrest him, instead they found him a B&B to sleep in. When the police called round later she reported my Uncle missing.
He had the first respite for 8 years when she died, he misses her but knows it was for the best. Her brother went the same way 10 years previously.
Thanks to all that have posted on this .
I’m very greatfull for all the advice and offers of help.
I find this condition very strange and confusing and hard to get my head around that’s why I posted it on here to get other people’s point of view .my dad I think is stuck in the fiftys
Always looking for his mum ,brothers ,that would put him in his twentys .the tip about putting photos of him when he was a young man in the care home with him I thought was a great idea and have discussed this with some of my siblings,so we are going to try this in the family home to see what happens .
Thank you all for your advice and tips and sorry if I brought back some hurtful memories.
Dee.
My lovely mother had it too, she was being looked after by my wife but it simply became a 24/7 task to keep an eye on mum to make sure she was safe. I’d heard Sharon Osbourne taling about Alziemers one night, her father had it and she explained how the desease quietly wiped the mind. I remembered this interview and could recognise these things happening to mum & it almost got to the stage where I’d mentally expect mum to forget how to do things for herself & it hurt when it happened.
Anyway, Mum was registered blind and after a number of events she simply had to be assessed by her GP and we searched out a nursing home for her. This was one of the hardest things we as a family ever had to do but it was for her own well being. She spent just over a year in that home until her condition deteriated and the home manager rang me telling me we’d have to move mum because they could no onger care for her properly. We then put her into a Bupa ran home and it was fantastic, the part of the home she was in specialised in cases like mum and knew exactly how to look after her & I can’t thank Bupa enough for making her last year so good, if that’s the right way to put it.
Please enjoy every second you can with your dad because this condition does quietly wipe their mind and they do almost revert back to being a baby. Quite a lot of this had happened to mum before we accepted she had Alziemers so she almost forgot who she was & where she came from before going into care. The strangest thnig about it was, she never as much as made a up of tea for herself after going into care and never once questioned what was going on. It was very difficult for us but it must have made things much easier for her although, god bless her soul, she had no idea.
I’ve many regrets in my life but putting mum into that Bupa home isn’t one of them, she had wonderful care 24/7 & we could visit her when ever we wanted to. Sadly she had a stroke on new years eve 2008 & we lost her 8 days later.
I hope I’ve worded this properly and I wish your dad & you well
my mother went into a home last august after her dementia worsened. it’s the worst feeling in the world to have to do it and the feeling of guilt for ‘abandoning’ your own parent is unbelievable. i’m a big, hairy, strapping bike riding trucker who has cried his eyes out many times over having to do it.
in my case when mam was at home i would visit every other day and would worry the days i couldn’t get there in case she’d fell or something. the care she gets in the home is incredible. it’s amazing how patient and understanding the carers are and is quite humbling the way they treat the ‘inmates’. i visit her about 2/3 times a week and to be honest i’ve stopped asking how she is (the carers always keep me well informed) and we just have a laugh together.
the 'photo’s are a good idea, we put a few together like a collage in a big picture frame. she has bits and bobs of furniture from her house as well as some of her favourite ornaments.
at first my mam would always ask me to take her home and get up to come with me when i was coming home. that’s hard to deal with but the home will give you advice on what to say.
good luck dee, hope it went ok.
Just thought I’d raise this topic again.
Thanks to all for their helpfull opinions.heads been all over the place this year ,■■■■ what an experience ,finally got the man happy in a place that suits all of us.he has a big family ,so lots of opinions AnD aruguments as to whats the best for us all and him.terrible decline in him lately heartbreaking! Have to say my heart was broke in 2013.
But we as a family found a way through it and we are we’re we are now and just going with it day by day.thanks for all the offers of help and advice.
They werer going to arrest him, instead they found him a B&B to sleep in. When the police called round later she reported my Uncle missing. 