If they’d…
Microlised my first attempts at an Eaton twinsplitter, I’d be down the road as soon as I got back in the yard.
Grind…slam…wrong one…grind…slam…■■■■… gggggrind…miss…oh ffs go in!!!..brake…sorry… grind…gear…yay.
Torkey:
Ha, i’m agency yet the other day on ‘Microfarce’ scored no:1 out of over 500 drivers (mainly their own guys) the other day… 'kinHuh no one likes a show off, best I’ve got is seventh out of 150 drivers. But I do alot of city driving, which makes it a lot harder
DickyNick:
Mine is giving me a poor score for combined coasting at the moment, saying to improve you need to coast in gear more.Problem with this is that in both scanias and mercs when the cruise control is on it puts it in N automatically when it’s coasting.
So for microlise they want the cruise control on as much as possible, Scania and merc have designed their own systems to go coast in neutral, yet microlise marks you down for this.
If you leave the cruise control “on” all the time you won’t get any score at all for “over-run” (i.e. coasting in gear) regardless of what make of lorry you drive…
No wonder so many of you hate the job if that’s what you need to put up with.
A computer telling you you’ve been naughty and then some pen pusher telling you off like a bad wee boy, get a grip.
TheUncaringCowboy:
A computer telling you you’ve been naughty and then some pen pusher telling you off like a bad wee boy, get a grip.
I got pulled in by the company I was working for a couple of years ago to go over the microlise printout.
They wished to discuss the harsh braking that had occurred on a few occasions.
It was some spotty 20-odd year old who’d probably struggle to find the steering wheel. “Harsh braking costs fuel” he explains, pointing to the helpful A4 posters pinned to the notice board.
Apparently the 210 mile round trip the day before where the planners sent me to a place that was shut, the trip that day were I had taken an empty trailer 80 miles to collect a load while another unit took a loaded trailer of trays to then leave empty and go somewhere else for a load or the day they sent 8 bobtail units down to Manchester to collect new trailers without bothering to phone and check if they were actually open on a bank holiday wernt what was costing the company unnecessary fuel costs.
Nope, its driver’s harsh braking
the maoster:
Stupid boy. Does the concept of lifting your right foot a tad not occur to you??
Lifting off, I don’t think so, have the office ringing up, “have you a problem” 
biggriffin:
the maoster:
Stupid boy. Does the concept of lifting your right foot a tad not occur to you??Lifting off, I don’t think so, have the office ringing up, “have you a problem”
So you work for tuffnells? 
You need look no further than Micro to know that the software will be a load of ■■■■.
adam277:
biggriffin:
the maoster:
Stupid boy. Does the concept of lifting your right foot a tad not occur to you??Lifting off, I don’t think so, have the office ringing up, “have you a problem”
So you work for tuffnells?
Fridge jockey.
I worked for Microlise for a bit a decade or so ago… really weird place to work jam packed with socially awkward people.
A lot like any RDC waiting room then?
barrythetruck:
I worked for Microlise for a bit a decade or so ago… really weird place to work jam packed with socially awkward people.
What a surprise!
In fairness, the drivers’ waiting room in * insert supermarket RDC here* is much the same. Full of socially awkward people, who only seem to cope with being put together in two ways:
Leave me alone, don’t talk to me!
Or
I’m mad, me! I come here all the time! Anybody want a coffee?
You gotta be quicker than that Drempels my good man!
the maoster:
You gotta be quicker than that Drempels my good man!
Bah!
We should do a survey, which type are you?
As a Londoner, I’m an expert at avoiding eye contact and ignoring people, thanks to that new-fangled underground railway thingy. Being married to a girl from the rural north, makes tube journeys interesting…
Why can’t we hold hands?
It’s the tube, you’ve lived here for ten years, are you mad?
What’s wrang wi’ yees?
Etc etc etc
Drempels:
barrythetruck:
I worked for Microlise for a bit a decade or so ago… really weird place to work jam packed with socially awkward people.[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] What a surprise!
In fairness, the drivers’ waiting room in * insert supermarket RDC here* is much the same. Full of socially awkward people, who only seem to cope with being put together in two ways:
Leave me alone, don’t talk to me!
Or
I’m mad, me! I come here all the time! Anybody want a coffee?
RDC waiting room has nothing on that place.
First day there you spend it walking around the building being introduced to everyone. Feel a right ■■■■ just saying hello 300 times.
When i was doing my walk round the whole floor of the bit where the programmers sit stopped and got up to go look at some Lego someone had created.
This wasnt a take the ■■■■ feign interest go look at the Lego… it was a highlight for the whole floor.
Weird place.
The-Snowman:
TheUncaringCowboy:
A computer telling you you’ve been naughty and then some pen pusher telling you off like a bad wee boy, get a grip.I got pulled in by the company I was working for a couple of years ago to go over the microlise printout.
They wished to discuss the harsh braking that had occurred on a few occasions.
It was some spotty 20-odd year old who’d probably struggle to find the steering wheel. “Harsh braking costs fuel” he explains, pointing to the helpful A4 posters pinned to the notice board.
Apparently the 210 mile round trip the day before where the planners sent me to a place that was shut, the trip that day were I had taken an empty trailer 80 miles to collect a load while another unit took a loaded trailer of trays to then leave empty and go somewhere else for a load or the day they sent 8 bobtail units down to Manchester to collect new trailers without bothering to phone and check if they were actually open on a bank holiday wernt what was costing the company unnecessary fuel costs.
Nope, its driver’s harsh braking
You should have replied to the kid “It’s employing pointy shoed desk jockeys like you that’s costing the firm too much money”. Probably on an internship during a dull “driver micro management” course at uni.
Roymondo:
DickyNick:
Mine is giving me a poor score for combined coasting at the moment, saying to improve you need to coast in gear more.Problem with this is that in both scanias and mercs when the cruise control is on it puts it in N automatically when it’s coasting.
So for microlise they want the cruise control on as much as possible, Scania and merc have designed their own systems to go coast in neutral, yet microlise marks you down for this.
If you leave the cruise control “on” all the time you won’t get any score at all for “over-run” (i.e. coasting in gear) regardless of what make of lorry you drive…
The cruise control must have been on as it only puts it in neutral for you when it’s on.
How much do these systems cost?
Do they save money? I mean after purchasing the system and no doubt subscribing to the system and employing people to monitor the system it must cut into any fuel savings they are supposed to save?
DickyNick:
Roymondo:
DickyNick:
Mine is giving me a poor score for combined coasting at the moment, saying to improve you need to coast in gear more.Problem with this is that in both scanias and mercs when the cruise control is on it puts it in N automatically when it’s coasting.
So for microlise they want the cruise control on as much as possible, Scania and merc have designed their own systems to go coast in neutral, yet microlise marks you down for this.
If you leave the cruise control “on” all the time you won’t get any score at all for “over-run” (i.e. coasting in gear) regardless of what make of lorry you drive…
The cruise control must have been on as it only puts it in neutral for you when it’s on.
Pretty certain the scanias knock it into netrual either on cruise or pedal to the metal, drives me nuts coming down a hill and the heap starts to run away.