climb out from cab in full view of cabbages…turn back on said cabbages…stand next to front wheel,hold bottle of water at groin level,and squirt the contents of your water bottle onto wheel…then try and count to 5 before someone yells at you for apparently peeing on your wheel…depending on the reaction related directly as to your turnaround time. 
Try having your hi-viz fully done up it will make you 40% more visible. Well that’s what I was told today anyway 
How puttin in place a Sign? “Caution Lorry”
You wont fail to be noticed if you ever go to Troon or Ayr harbours as from the first of September a a new load of bollux has been issued by ABP, not only do you have to wear a high vis, safety boots and hard hat but now also safety glasses and gloves FFS. Very handy if you work on a boat there and you’re going to the pub in the evening !!
nightline:
You do what anyone with a pair of balls would and that’s turn around and drive out after been left for a long time, it wont happen again if you still have a job that is, but then again leave it for the next fool to be treated like you were even if you get paid by the hour, for god sake man stand up for yourself.
I’ve been banned from site for doing that… Didn’t mind though, as going there ever again would be too soon. 
MGR1610:
Try having your hi-viz fully done up it will make you 40% more taxable. Well that’s what I was told today anyway
Fixed that for ya. 
What about wearing a sandwich board like Bruce Willis did in Die Hard 3? If around London, Luton or Slough then use the message he did and you’ll get noticed instantly.
Arrive at site, park up, report to goods in, go back to your truck and get on the bed and wait for a knock. If your paid by the hour why worry!
I have 4 modes that work well in these situations:
Stealth
In this mode I can walk about anywhere unnoticed, obviously maximum hi viz attire is needed but I find this mode usefull for using staff loos, canteens, play rooms etc… Also good for leaving waiting room and going on a wander.
The trick is to walk around with a vacant, non emotional espression and everyone will think your staff. Works very well at Asda & Tesco RDC’s.
Polite
Default mode and used to manipulate others whilst they think they are in charge. Works on security personel a treat. Especially low iq ones who dont realise ive just scribbled ‘VIP Load’ on paperwork for more urgent attention. This attention is often to try and disprove its a VIP Load but quick tips normally follow.
Life Story
My most relaxed mode, usually adopted when bored to initiate conversation, after a while the unsuspecting target will have given me enough of their life story for me to steal their ID. Works very well with fellow truckers and also good for inserting random BS and even playing the story topper game to see who can come up with the best BS. Usually ends up with a fellow sister telling me in strictest confidence they where once in the SAS or just missed a dodgy ferry.
Tribbing
This special mode is best used when alone and is a top secret mode used to get random strangers on internet forums to use google to find out what all the fuss is about.
Problems can occur if stealth and tribbing mode are used at the same time in public places.
The system is arrive ,ring bell ,ring store ,walk to store and speak to customer services ,ring driver line ,ring depot ,nothing seems to work so I just normally ring bell ,sit there getting more wound up/ ■■■■■■ off by the second and eventually someone opens the gate and apparently they weren’t aware I was there 
MGR1610:
Try having your hi-viz fully done up it will make you 40% more visible. Well that’s what I was told today anyway
his reminded me of an argument I had years ago, I was told I couldn’t entre a site as I only had a short sleeve hi viz and needed the long sleeve one. after several exchanges I noticed a chap in a long sleeve hi viz of a small size versus my xxl short sleeved when I pointed out that I had a far greater amount of hi viz than said chap the bloke looked funny at me and said but not on your arms 
dozy:
The system is arrive ,ring bell ,ring store ,walk to store and speak to customer services ,ring driver line ,ring depot ,nothing seems to work so I just normally ring bell ,sit there getting more wound up/ ■■■■■■ off by the second and eventually someone opens the gate and apparently they weren’t aware I was there
Funniest one I had was a Co-op store in Dunstable. We used to do the wheelie bins & only needed them to unlock the gate, but they wouldn’t answer the bell.
So one day I was in a hurry (job n finish, in my impatient days) & I pressed the bell for about 2 minutes, after about a minute I could hear all this shouting, calling me rude names through the shutter door above the sound of the bell, the manager came out & had a right go at me, he got it back, but still had to unlock the gate.
After he complained, me & my manager agreed that the next time they don’t answer the bell, we would leave the bins & they would get charged for a wasted journey & then charge them for the clear up after they overloaded the bins or any extra journeys we made.
They didn’t make me wait again, wonder why ?
LIBERTY_GUY:
Judonut:
How do you get there attention?Jump naked out your cab and shout out “I’m not putting my clothes back on till one of your unloads me”…
Do be aware that if the forkies are gay, your words may be misinterpreted and you may need to find a new use for the fifth wheel grease…
Normally I jump out of cab naked and scream like Tarzan . Don’t recommended on truck stops though [emoji1]
park in a stupid place in the yard or near the warehouse door, noises them up. If its a builders merchants then d not acknowledge they signs telling u to wait outside
The puppy that drives the forklifts ft wears a tie and grabs a desk .taking on the vacant nebosh job.encompassing health and Safety which to non drivers means hi viz boots and walkways .no drinks in,the smoking area and to keep a thumb firmly up his ear.this however leaves his shirtlifting duties to you .on break fromkeep playing impotent .I mean important .
So tip on break and let him
Play
The game is bar drivers so teacher notices you .the excuses for these parasites having jobs is apparently a recession .do you know how important yard men are nowadays .salute them as the gods pickers and packers are .the anarchy started with shirtliftrrs who wouldn’t couldn’t or shouldn’t do their job right to Barr drivers creating opportunities for their own drivers to exploit.but some companies Barr so many drivers good time served drivers it completely distorts the hierachy
Your licrnse is in their hands so we shouldn’t as tdg and Norbert’s found be allowed deckers .they do not have the diligence training teamwork or IQ to meet loadstandard .topdeck heavy for one pmpl
Tip him for laugh cheeky bogger
Am I the only one wondering WTF?