most important drive on left when you get back
Spacemonkeypg wrote:
French, Italian and some Spanish toilets, avoid them like the plaque, minging sqwat pots,
Mmmmm…
French toilets…
(Apologies to anyone eating breakfast at the mo )
Ah, the ubiquitous ‘spread axle’ and it looks like a previous user has missed by a bit, yuck!!!
i once lost my wallet of cards to a beast like this in weil am rhein. top tip would be to remove trousers completely or make sure your wallet isnt in your back pocket 
how do i copy a post then put it in my post please?? tried copy and paste on last post but obviously didnt work 
skids:
how do i copy a post then put it in my post please?? tried copy and paste on last post but obviously didnt work
just click on the “quote” button top right of the post you want to quote.
If it happens to be a very long quote, you can then delete some of it if you want, to keep the part quoted relevant. Just make sure you dont delete the start & finish quote instructions which appear in brackets a bit like this: [q u ote]
As others have said mate, take it steady when you come off the boat and
drive out of which ever port you arrive in,you may be able to have a chat
with another driver on board and be able to follow them out until you
start driving on a motorway.If you cant just take your time ,tough if you
hold others up every one has there first trip or first time through a port.
Another good idea might be to check which ever ferry or port you are
arriving in to see if they have a website that has print outs of ports
this should give you some directions,like Brittanys website.
One other thing make sure you get in the right lane at toll booths if your
paying in euros as some are unmanned and if you havent a card to
pay and be awkward.Look for the symbol above the pay booths with a
little person on it and arm sticking out.
Hope it goes well. 
Harry Monk:
Spacemonkeypg:
French, Italian and some Spanish toilets, avoid them like the plaque, minging sqwat pots,Mmmmm…
French toilets…
(Apologies to anyone eating breakfast at the mo
)
Only thing wrong with that is it hasn’t been cleaned, just the same as any other toilet then. 
I know that I would prefer to put my shoe soles where someone else’s have been rather than my bare bum. As to the trouser position I always find that pulled down, and up, to the knees is the best bet - and I never keep my wallet in my back pocket anyway. 
Harry Monk:
Spacemonkeypg:
French, Italian and some Spanish toilets, avoid them like the plaque, minging sqwat pots,Mmmmm…
French toilets…
(Apologies to anyone eating breakfast at the mo
Who’s the zb that’s zb’d in mi shower cubicle dirty…
Hey! Where’s the shower head ? Oh no, (zb) between the toes.
Queers version…
Who’s the zb that’s zb’d in mi shower cubicle dirty…
wots that on yer nob?
Forget the shower ‘head’ old boy here’s some real head… get… it?
skids:
i once lost my wallet of cards to a beast like this in weil am rhein. top tip would be to remove trousers completely or make sure your wallet isnt in your back pocket
I once jerked the pull-chain, In Italy, which was within reach over the dump-hole, before pulling up my jeans and getting out of the way. Gives new meaning to what can happen with an improper Yank.
i often wondered why they have those type of toilets in modern europe.
they are what the arabs use,its something to do with the koran and islam i think.
the arabs are still living in the 10th century.
its uncivilised anyway and not very convenient unless you wear a dress like the arabs do.
greg50:
i often wondered why they have those type of toilets in modern europe.
they are what the arabs use,its something to do with the koran and islam i think.
the arabs are still living in the 10th century.
its uncivilised anyway and not very convenient unless you wear a dress like the arabs do.
Hey Greg
I couldnt and wouldnt use one of those ■■■■ pits,i would rather vent tanks
under a bush somewhere with toilet roll in hand!
Most of the main service areas now seem to have the traditional toilets
although alot of the layby rest areas still have these awful ones.
greg50:
i often wondered why they have those type of toilets in modern europe.
OK, I promise, this is the last time I’ll say this - kept clean they are more hygenic 
hi mate ,first piece of advice would be learn a few phrases in different languages even if its hello , please and thankyou . you will be suprised how far that will get you . as bigr250 said always offer your hand to shake even with customs , police , anyone . never be afraid to stop and ask , on more than one occasion ive had people go out of their way to help or jump in a car so you can follow them . take your time mate there is no gold medal for coming first . just go out there and enjoy yourself
I agree with you Spardo and if people
did clean them after wards , you have
no problems, still this happens with the
west european style WC as well, that
people do not clean any mess they make
after wards,
DEANB:
Most of the main service areas now seem to have the traditional toilets
although alot of the layby rest areas still have these awful ones.
In the USA, all “rest” rooms must by law have a handicapped stall, where folks whose prayers were never answered can take a dump without leaving the wheelchair. For me, an old dude now, I can’t squat long enough over a continental dump-hole to do the job, unless it is equipped with grab rails. 
Are Brit or EU toilets nowadays required to accommodate cripples?
Having been in Italy as far back as 1986 & more recently spent much time in Asia, that is one of cleanest squat toilets i’ve ever seen. Nothing a bucket of water wouldn’t cure. It even shines!
Very few in Asia have a flush mechanism. To flush you scoop water in with an old pan from a small holding tank.
I definately do try and avoid them for no. 2’s though!
Just a quick tip,when i was in france i used to find total services to be best,clean toilets[both kinds]immaculate showers,usually cleaned everytime they are used.For food i liked to find a good routiers on a national road.Good luck mate,like other posts have said it beats the uk hands down you are treated more like a human being.
if you need some help look for irish/welsh/scots/english if you can find one,or next best i found was a dutchman.very helpful boys and of course speak good english.
mad monk:
hi mate ,first piece of advice would be learn a few phrases in different languages even if its hello , please and thankyou . you will be suprised how far that will get you .
Yes, I always find “Vous etes un fromage mangeant singe de reddition” works wonders with the Gendarmerie.
Harry Monk:
[
Yes, I always find “Vous etes un fromage mangeant singe de reddition” works wonders with the Gendarmerie.
Certainly does, at least as a fast track to the pokey anyway.
Spardo:
Certainly does, at least as a fast track to the pokey anyway.
Ah well, they can’t chop your head off any more, can they?