Hot tip of the day…calling police officers “filth” then expecting them to help you when you can’t manoeuvre your own wagon out of a tight spot you got it into might not be your best idea! 
The right thing is to call out the police. They can get the cars moved and you’ll be on your way without falling foul of the law.
Shrek:
Hot tip of the day…calling police officers “filth” then expecting them to help you when you can’t manoeuvre your own wagon out of a tight spot you got it into might not be your best idea!The right thing is to call out the police. They can get the cars moved and you’ll be on your way without falling foul of the law.
Don’t frettle petal it’s just an affectionate nick-nick-name (couldn’t resist it!). Anybody who gets themselves into a position they can’t get out of shouldn’t hold any licence!
Right here goes, I’ve given this some thought and I think I have a cunning plan, or at least it will be a cunning stunt. 
Cruise Control (played by Steven Seagal in the Movie) realises his predicament, so contacts some of his old mates who he used to work with in the Simpkins And Saunders organisation, (as we all know all trucks drivers have worked for the Simpkins And Saunders organisation.) his old friends Limyphil and now Ph’D in EU traffic Law. (played by Kurt Russell) states that if the no entry signs are removed then it will not be an offence to drive down the road and if any coppers try and stop them then all you have to do is shout “I’M ENGLISH, SO [ZB] OFF” or just blow them away.
At this point the Simpkins And Saunders van screeches to a halt next to Cruise Controls trucks and out leaps. Harry Monk, Coffeeholic, Wheel Nut, Rikki, and Carryfast (played by Johnny Depp, Russell Crowe, Anthony Hopkins, Jason Statham and Denzel Washington) they are armed with [zb] great angle grinders, Pneumatic Drills, and in case plan A fails they also have Explosives, Mini guns, Rocket launchers and an Armoured bulldozer and Plan B is to make a new street through the middle of the houses.
Wheel Nut (Anthony Hopkins) starts to work on blocking the Police radio frequencies and the other begin to remove the No Entry Signs.
Wondering what the commotion is My self (play by Halle Berry, she’s really got to have a word with her agent 
) come out of one of the houses dressed only in a T shirt, just at the moment when Harry Monk (Johnny Depp) hits the water main soaking me (Halle Berry) to the skin, for a totally unessecery wet T’shirt moment, 
despite that I (Halle Berry)decide to help our heroes and as I also worked for Simpkins And Saunders I’m handy with a Rocket Launcer, So start to clear the cars, so with loads of gratuatous shots of cars going up in flames, Cruise Control (Steven Seagal) roars through the inferno to safety, followed by Harry Monk, Wheel Nut, Rikki, and Carryfast (played by Johnny Depp, Anthony Hopkins, Jason Statham and Denzel Washington) and My self (Halle Berry) in the Simpkins And Sauders Van driven by Carryfast (Denzel Washington) with Rikki (Jason Statham) Blasting away with the Mini Gun and Coffeeholic (Russell Crowe) following on a Chariot wealding a Sword, chopping off the heads of the Barbarians. (sorry wrong movie 
).
Biscuits:
Harry is right. Harry is always right. Twas ever thus.
i wanna be harry… or maybe not being wrong makes me feel human
Shrek:
Hot tip of the day…calling police officers “filth” then expecting them to help you when you can’t manoeuvre your own wagon out of a tight spot you got it into might not be your best idea!The right thing is to call out the police. They can get the cars moved and you’ll be on your way without falling foul of the law.
Yes, but let’s be honest, the Filth aren’t interested in helping truck drivers with their problems, only in writing them out a ticket and raising another £60 of Stealth Tax.
muckles:
Right here goes, I’ve given this some thought and I think I have a cunning plan, or at least it will be a cunning stunt.Cruise Control (played by Steven Seagal in the Movie) realises his predicament, so contacts some of his old mates who he used to work with in the Simpkins And Saunders organisation, (as we all know all trucks drivers have worked for the Simpkins And Saunders organisation.) his old friends Limyphil and now Ph’D in EU traffic Law. (played by Kurt Russell) states that if the no entry signs are removed then it will not be an offence to drive down the road and if any coppers try and stop them then all you have to do is shout “I’M ENGLISH, SO [ZB] OFF” or just blow them away.
At this point the Simpkins And Saunders van screeches to a halt next to Cruise Controls trucks and out leaps. Harry Monk, Coffeeholic, Wheel Nut, Rikki, and Carryfast (played by Johnny Depp, Russell Crowe, Anthony Hopkins, Jason Statham and Denzel Washington) they are armed with [zb] great angle grinders, Pneumatic Drills, and in case plan A fails they also have Explosives, Mini guns, Rocket launchers and an Armoured bulldozer and Plan B is to make a new street through the middle of the houses.
Wheel Nut (Anthony Hopkins) starts to work on blocking the Police radio frequencies and the other begin to remove the No Entry Signs.
Wondering what the commotion is My self (play by Halle Berry, she’s really got to have a word with her agentdespite that I (Halle Berry)decide to help our heroes and as I also worked for Simpkins And Saunders I’m handy with a Rocket Launcer, So start to clear the cars, so with loads of gratuatous shots of cars going up in flames, Cruise Control (Steven Seagal) roars through the inferno to safety, followed by Harry Monk, Wheel Nut, Rikki, and Carryfast (played by Johnny Depp, Anthony Hopkins, Jason Statham and Denzel Washington) and My self (Halle Berry) in the Simpkins And Sauders Van driven by Carryfast (Denzel Washington) with Rikki (Jason Statham) Blasting away with the Mini Gun and Coffeeholic (Russell Crowe) following on a Chariot wealding a Sword, chopping off the heads of the Barbarians. (sorry wrong movie
youtube.com/watch?v=_MVonyVSQoM versus The Sweeney
Dennis Waterman playing Carryfast and guest starring President O Bama playing Mr T.
Drive down the one way street and when you get pulled, tell them you only want to go one way.
I personally would be calling the Police and taking their advice, which I would guess is to exit via the way you came in, albeit contrary to the usual markings.
Shrek:
‘…calling police officers “filth” … might not be your best idea…’
If they can’t take a joke then they shouldn’t have joined, eh!
Harry Monk:
Shrek:
Hot tip of the day…calling police officers “filth” then expecting them to help you when you can’t manoeuvre your own wagon out of a tight spot you got it into might not be your best idea!The right thing is to call out the police. They can get the cars moved and you’ll be on your way without falling foul of the law.
Yes, but let’s be honest, the Filth aren’t interested in helping truck drivers with their problems, only in writing them out a ticket and raising another £60 of Stealth Tax.
…and you wonder why drivers are generally considered to be militant anti-establishment Neanderthals. The industry will never be able to move on as long as professional drivers keep letting themselves down. In my view, this kind of attitude is what’s taken the “Great” out of Britain!
…good job I know you’re just trying to wind me up innit!!! 
Shrek:
…and you wonder why drivers are generally considered to be militant anti-establishment Neanderthals. The industry will never be able to move on as long as professional drivers keep letting themselves down. In my view, this kind of attitude is what’s taken the “Great” out of Britain!
As far as I am aware, Great Britain is still the largest (i.e. greatest) geographical landmass in the British Isles and therefore it hasn’t had the “Great” taken out of it.
Grate.
Shrek:
…and you wonder why drivers are generally considered to be militant anti-establishment Neanderthals. The industry will never be able to move on as long as professional drivers keep letting themselves down. In my view, this kind of attitude is what’s taken the “Great” out of Britain! roll:
Don’t get me wrong, I love the Police. I particularly love the way they will fine and endorse a truck driver for driving at 36mph in a 30mph limit, while at the same time a third of car drivers in Bradford are uninsured.
Still, no money to be made from them, is there? I mean, if they couldn’t pay for the insurance then they can’t pay the fine, so no point in deploying you lot to uphold the Law.
Shrek, the Police are increasingly being deployed as tax collectors, you know that. Get off of your high horse.
Harry, Harry, Harry…what am I going to do with you eh?
OK, there’s no talking to some people, I know that and frankly I don’t care what you think about the police.
All I will say to you my friend is that I have been a wagon driver and I have been a police officer. I have seen it from both sides, have you?
If you break laws, expect to be penalised, fairly simple concept and cops are certainly not exempt from that!). As for the politics, well’ you’d have to speak to the policy makers about that. The majority of you (the great British People) voted for 'em!
Now why don’t you put the kettle on and have a nice cup of tea…I’m not on any high horse matey, I go to work to lock up criminals and try to make the place safer for you nice law abiding citizens. Sometimes we get bogged down by people who think it’s OK to break the lesser laws (like doing 38 in a 30) and this keeps us from the serious business of nicking real baddies. So, when people ask me “don’t you have anything better to do?” the answer is usually "Yes, but you’re keeping me from it because you don’t think the less serious laws apply to you!
The simple truth is, if you hit a pedestrian/cyclist/kid etc at 38mph, they’re lots more likely to die than if you were doing 30. And if you were doing 30, it would be more likely you would have been able to stop. Laws, petty as you may see them are there for a reason.
Actually…I kinda was on my high horse there for a while. It felt good! But I can see why you may be cynical about the police. It’s gotta be a matter of mutual understanding.
Go and nick the ■■■■■■ who thieve our diesel and ■■■■■ our curtains.
Go and nick the immigrants who don’t bother with our insurance laws.
And yes, go and do what your white working-class “customers” tell you day in, day out, go and find the real criminals, rather than the “easier targets”… unless of course you have been given “a quota to fulfil” in your morning briefing…
.
Is this what you are talking about ,Harry?
redbob:
B) without doubt as A) would be breaking the law.B) is only an advosory sign, I’ve ‘risked’ a few of these with no problems at all.
agree. went through one a few weeks ago to please the copper on the flyover but without actually going into the checkpoint
phone the coppers and go for a stroll while you wait
Shrek:
All I will say to you my friend blah blah Police speak condescending poppycock.Now why don’t you put the kettle on and have a nice cup of tea.
No mention of the uninsured, unlicensed drivers that there’s no point catching.
And if driving at 38 in a 30 was a crime in case I run someone over, I would be able to go 100 on a quiet motorway, wouldn’t I
Welcome back Shrek…albeit wearing a different hat.
Interesting that several have said they would risk the “Unsuitable” signed route.
Yet when people have posted tales & images here at TN of foreign drivers ignoring (or being unable to read?) such signs, blindly following their pratnavs, then getting totally stuck, oh how you mock their intelligence.
If you’ve all finished with your handbag fight, of course the correct answer was Grayham’s - well the second part anyway, only if the alternative route was no good would you possibly think of calling Lilly Law to ask them to sanction use of, or ■■■■■■ you down, the one-way system against traffic 
I got stuck around Fulham once due to Joe public parking cars inconsiderately in a residential area and I had no way of getting out after I finished doing a delivery so I called the police, after about 20 minutes a traffic warden came round to see what the problem was, no illegally parked as no yellow lines, but they restricted the road enough to be causing an obstruction. Said traffic warden when door knocking ( I had already tried that) but had no satisfaction, so he called out the clampers 
I did protest, but they clamped about 12 cars and then ■■■■■■ off. Well that was me stuck for the rest of the day, had the same happen around the back of Liberties in Regents street but this time the van in my way was illegally parked…clamping it didn’t help me though