anything that helped you get home, like the spud rubbed on the screen, I once had the ice crack the glass fuel bowl, and asked an older lady if she had a jam jar and could I buy it, and gave her the jam back in a dish,
I once wound the clock forward to the following day and inserted a new card to get home.
Allegedly.
mole grips onto the air chamber pipes,4x4 bit of wood hammered into the springs,ratchet straps holding the door closed cos the locks broke plus on 1 occasion some ■■■■■■ caught it with the rear of his trailer and ripped it nearly off,kicked the windscreen out and wore a pair of plastic goggles to get back because it was raining.
stopped at every roadworks that i was passing nicking the drums of red diesel that was operating the floodlights as i ran out of dosh and the fuel card was barred.
driving flat out right up the jacksie of an obliging front runner as you had no alternator,flat batteries and no lights whatsoever.
the list will no doubt be endless but most of these and similar options would be obsolete nowadays due to the non hands on snowflakes operating trucks and similar operating practices of certain employers.
mike68:
I once wound the clock forward to the following day and inserted a new card to get home.Allegedly.
[emoji5]
Smiley face…
Allegedly…
Using a length of rope as a throttle cable, thro front grill round mirror arm, Petrol in the diesel, as it was bloody cold, lighting little fires under the tank, then remembering, there’s half a gallon of petrol in that can, Strapping axles up as it was easier than phoning for a tyre fitter.
Allegedly…My mate did…
Pulling fuse 19 out and replacing it with a marked blown fuse on a friday evening to get home.
Also got an obliging front runner to sit in front when the alternator died along with batteries.
Wound clock forwards 9 hours one night when the night heater wouldnt work and it was -8c and got fed up of the shivering that went with it.
…Allegedly
And you could always get an old Scania home when the clutch had gone by getting the revs just right and a gear would drop straight in, roundabouts where interesting but i managed to get from Barking to Middlesbrough without a clutch
And another ,come the dawn of limiters the stopper on the throttle pedal had a screw on it that you could wind down and she was off at proper Friday afternoon speeds 
Saying that i went everywhere at 100k,s in those days, bit faster empty
Once had a pigeon hit the screen, smack bang in the centre. Drove back with the other driver keeping the screen from flexing in by putting his foot against it.
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Drove from Bermondsey London to Glasgow…Tipped…out for night with young lady…drove back to Bermondsey. Log book all properly filled in a week later. 
Drove and delivered round Glasgow and surrounding area in an ERF with no clutch. Guy I worked for made it very worthwhile.
Drove from Scotland to London and back in a truck with a knackered starter motor. Plenty hills to find when stopping. 
Anything with a ■■■■■■■ in, if you clamped the return to tank fuel pipe almost closed with Mole grips or the like, that increased the feed pressure at the injectors.
They would flee like stoor wi that wee mod!!
Once pulled out of the yard on a Monday morning in a Strato fitted with an Eaton box and as I left the clutch cable snapped. I had a really juicy run starting in Wick and ending in Cornwall so decided to just go for it. It certainly sharpened up my anticipation skills! On the odd occasion I needed to stop I just switched the engine off , engaged 2nd and merely set off on the key when I was clear to move.
Also, some unscrupulous drivers told me that they’d watch the mileage like a hawk when they’d removed to card and at exactly many multiples of 10 kilometres they’d reinsert the card so that the mileage trace zig zags matched up.
Allegedly.
Back in prehistory when Gardner 6LW was going at about 34mph , a strong wire round the throttle bar and the governor bar could get you up to 45 mph , if your leg was strong enough . Piece of stick cut to size and wedged under the dash and pray you didn’t need to stop anytime soon was an option .
uncle told me he had a puncture on a sunday and filled/packed the inside of the tyre with long grass so he could drive home
Early 90’s before I’d got my class one I was on the M25 on my way home from France in a loaded merc 814 3 car transporter when the rear near side outer tyre let go. I limped into clacket lane services. I had a wheel brace and a spare but no jack so I drove the inner wheel up onto a curb and changed it. As the wheel nuts came loose the inner wheel started leaning on the long studs then stopped at an alarming angle. After fitting the new wheel I wound the nuts back on going round and round them gradually pulling the wheels back on the hub. Took ages and knackered me out.
Then a quick drive round the lorry park and got the nuts fully tight before heading off back to Gloucester.
Still makes me shudder thinking about it all these years later.
Ran out of fuel in Germany, they don’t like that! I cut a piece of rubber tube off my gas cooker and extended the stack pipe so it went to the bottom of the tank, it probably gave me another 10 miles, only cost me a new fuel filter and I kept the piece of pipe
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We had an extra load of castings to get to David Brown tractors at Meltham, it had to be on site for 8.30 pm when the night shift started. Another driver brought the loaded AEC Mercury artic into the yard, so I had my tea and then took it to Meltham. On time at Meltham, quick tip, and noticed that the fuel gauge on the tank was on empty. Foreman at DB was very helpful, suggesting that as they had plenty red diesel for the tractors I could have some of that. I had unloaded outside stores and noticed some 5 gallons (in those days) drums of white spirit. So we put 15 gallons of white spirit in the tank, reasoning that if Customs and Excise dipped the tank what was in it was the correct colour. The AEC went very well with white spirit as the fuel.
msgyorkie:
Allegedly…My mate did…
Pulling fuse 19 out and replacing it with a marked blown fuse on a friday evening to get home.
Also got an obliging front runner to sit in front when the alternator died along with batteries.
Wound clock forwards 9 hours one night when the night heater wouldnt work and it was -8c and got fed up of the shivering that went with it.
…Allegedly
Fuse 19? 3 series Scania by any chance?
Throttle linkage once collapsed on my F10 so I had a couple of days on the very handy hand throttle at the side of the gearstick.
Darkside:
msgyorkie:
Allegedly…My mate did…
Pulling fuse 19 out and replacing it with a marked blown fuse on a friday evening to get home.
Also got an obliging front runner to sit in front when the alternator died along with batteries.
Wound clock forwards 9 hours one night when the night heater wouldnt work and it was -8c and got fed up of the shivering that went with it.
…AllegedlyFuse 19? 3 series Scania by any chance?
3 series just a bit of wire and crocodile clip, think 19 was 4 series
Think it was 14 or 20 on XF.
biggriffin:
Darkside:
msgyorkie:
Allegedly…My mate did…
Pulling fuse 19 out and replacing it with a marked blown fuse on a friday evening to get home.
Also got an obliging front runner to sit in front when the alternator died along with batteries.
Wound clock forwards 9 hours one night when the night heater wouldnt work and it was -8c and got fed up of the shivering that went with it.
…AllegedlyFuse 19? 3 series Scania by any chance?
3 series just a bit of wire and crocodile clip, think 19 was 4 series
Think it was 14 or 20 on XF.
Late 3 series 113 380…