runaroundtel:
I am not out to offend anyone, but merely to state an opposing opinion. Just because a post is made here, it does not mean to say that everyone has to agree with it’s contents. Thirdly, it DOES matter when women bring kids up (in the majority of the cases) and men don’t pay to help bring up their kids. It’s wrong.
I don’t really think we have opposing opinions. I don’t disagree with much that you said, but you’re making it sound much too simplistic.
If these blokes, who want to stay in close contact with their kids, are really sure about doing so, then why not ask for custody, and raise them full stop?
Isn’t this what the entire fight is about? A lot of men fight for custody and don’t win, whether justly or not. It isn’t an all-or-nothing thing. Not having custody doesn’t mean close contact can’t be achieved. It just isn’t a priority to the courts.
For those men who are caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, and want to see their kids on a regular basis, well they need to accept that kids cost a packet, and the whole package includes more than weekends out, daytrips and a few hundred quid a month.
It takes money to raise a child… thats just obvious. But to punish the child by witholding visitation with their father because the child support is in dispute is hurting the child… I don’t really care how much it hurts the father… they aren’t the issue here. Children need both parents, regardless of the finances. You’ll never convince me otherwise.
They also take, the time and trouble to instill, discipline, time with homework, going to the school when it’s not looking so good, and budgetting for them on a day to day basis. A pair of shoes and an afternoon in the park, is not parenthood. Snotty noses, and chicken pox is best experienced first hand.
Explaining menstruation, and voice changes is not a two month phase that you see at the weekends.
Where’s the common sense in that statement? In the situation of a divorce or separation, what you’ve just said is impossilbe. Which ever parent has custody is the one that deals with the snotty noses, chicken pox, and menstruation… its just the way it is. The only remedy to that is to stay married so that both can be there equally, and thats just not always whats best.
If you do not think that child support (dosh) plays no part in raising a child, think again.
Once again… child support obviously plays a part in raising the child. Money is necessary. It DOESN’T, however, play a part in parenting. The two issues are distinctly separate.
Also expect to clean up the vomit, worry yourself to death, argue the toss, count to ten many times, pick up the bits and pieces, tell them the most horrendous details of any slightly embarrassing thing. Whilst you may say that men in a position where they cannot have close contact with their kids because of separation with a partner, are being denied access, I challenge any bloke to sit down with his kids for a few weeks, and take 100% care of them and then say that they will not pay for trainers etc.
You’re right about this… I think alot of men who fight for custody of their children have no idea what the day to day responsibilities of raising kids are. In reality, mothers are usually responsible for the majority of the mundane care giving. Spending a month or two with their kids 24 hours a day, 7 days a week might change their mind, and make them see exactly what mothers go through. My son was with his dad a few weeks ago, got sick in the car, and he brought him directly home, never even stopped so he could clean up. He just didn’t want to deal with it. I’ve known a few fathers who have custody of their children. But every one of them is remarried… and its the step mothers that are doing most of the work… the fathers role never changed from one household to the other. Some just aren’t equipped to be full time parents on their own. That doesn’t negate the fact that fathers who want to see their kids should be able to. These guys aren’t asking for the moon… just some time with their kids… which I think they’re entitled to.