Kate,
That was absolutely brilliant 
It seems as though you know me and my life story. Everything you have written is so true. I had a very similar problem except there were 3 countries involved and no children, not ours anyway!
The part about not fitting in in a strange country is very true, different cultures and even religions get in the way.
I was in a country full of “brown” people with a girl from Europe. The United Kingdom is not Europe in this case.
She had her own problems and I don’t suppose I made them much easier when I sold my home to be with her. I had the same difficulty in that I didn’t know anyone else and my friends were people I met in the local bar.
Anyway this is a public forum, and my story is a private one. But you have certainly made me think about it!
Thankyou 
I ignored the post between ours