I didn’t eat humble pie… I was forced into a position where I had to file for sole custody… there were too many threats and I wasn’t able to deal with him. The thing is, once I got that power away from him, its amazing how accomodating he was ready to be. It’s HAVING the power and the control, not abusing it, that can make the difference. I realize that there are abusive situations in the world, and those are the exceptions. But I have also come to realize that there are many women who would prefer their husbands just disappear once the divorce is over… its easier for them to get on with their lives, introduce new men to their children… I’ve seen it over and over. Pat wasn’t abusive at all… his 1st wife left him after having several affairs, and took the children out the country while he was at work… .he went months without seeing them, and had no control or power over this. THESE are the situations I’m referring to. And the heartache and desperation that can cause is only imaginable. If my kids were taken from me, and I thought climbing up a crane in wonder woman costume was going to get me the legal attention I deserved, I’d do it too. Pat was not in the wrong in his case, and yet he still lost in court, multiple times. His children are grown now, and they remember what their mother did to them, and how it affected them… the relationships he has with them are still difficult sometimes. Fact is that the courts in the UK and the US favor women simply for being women. Don’t get me wrong… I’m still a firm believer that mothers should have custody of their children. No one has the instincts and nurturing abilities that a mother has for her children. There is no bond like it. I’m not suggesting they hand the fathers custody, I’m saying 2 or 4 days a month is NOT enough, and how many women don’t honor that anyway■■? A friend of ours is going through the same thing now. He hasn’t seen his small children in 17 months… he wasn’t accused of abuse in the divorce. She had an affair, and told him that it would be easier if he just let her new boyfriend be their Dad from now on. THESE are the cases we’re talking about. As I said before, abusive situations are the exception… but the abuse has to be directed toward, or acted out in front of the children in order to justify taking the visitation away.