From Mrs runaroundtel: I take my hat off to you Kate (I hope that it is alright to call you that) I mean it quite sincerely when I say that you have obviously a great deal of courage and inner strength in order to go through that kind of hell, and still allow your ex partner to see your kids. I can’t say that I could do the same thing, but you’re clearly very grounded and have inner peace. Unfortunately, the reality is, that many women do not have your courage, and they have been so badly damaged by their ex spouses, that, yes they do use children as a bargaining tool, and whether it is right or wrong they often use this tool to gain some power once they have left an abusive relationship. Children never prosper or thrive in an environment where they see their parents at loggerheads constantly. In many cases the ex spouse is so abusive that it is without doubt in the best interests of children to not have contact with an absent parent. All of this considered, a man in a spider man suit at the top of a crane, does not invoke sympathy from me. He may have been a great dad, but a bad husband, I don’t know, but he had clearly been through the mill of the family courts, many times over to get to the stage where he did this, and they deemed him unworthy of access rights. What does that suggest? Either he had the baddest lawyer in the world representing him, or…■■? You tell me please. In conclusion, I will add this. You Kate have said the most important thing here. Children come first! You overcame the most horrible background, and you let your kids see their dad… many women would not do so. Eating humble/brave pie tastes divine only if you can negotiate and move on!