When I lived ‘down south’ I worked with a couple of fitters who never failed to entertain! They were father and son, both had the same christian names as well. The lad came to work in the same greasy overalls he went home in the night before…on the corporation bus! We all left ours at work. He reckoned he got plenty of space on the bus and I can well believe that! 
One day they were sitting together in our mess room: lad says to dad “Are you busy on saturday” and dad replies no, why? “Well I’m getting married” and all was quiet for about a minute when dad asks “Who are you marrying then son?” They both lived in the same blooming house, did they never converse? 
Neither were very swift, I remember them removing the engine from a BMC five tonner of the Gas Boards (which took them twice as long as anyone else!) and then sitting down having a ■■■ together. The new engine was on the floor waiting. Enter the foreman: “Well, does the new engine sound alright then” being sarcastic, and the old man (still dragging on his ■■■ of course) points to the cab and says “The keys are in, try it for yourself” and foreman exits shaking his head! 
When they FINALLY finished it they went for a test run and on returning the foreman asks (again with a hint of sarcasm) “well, does it go like a bomb then?” and father replies “I have no idea to be honest”. “What do you mean you don’t know?” the foreman exclaims, “you tested it” and the reply was “But I don’t thrash new engines”! 
Between them they had an answer for everything, a grand pair of characters!
Pete.