Great little anecdotes there mushroomman. Loved the one about the beer, don’t think I’ve heard it before. Certainly stories still to be told. I’m relating a couple of short ones which I hope I haven’t told before.
The first one concerns a dutch driver. We were both in Belgrade customs and having plenty of agro. I made my way to an office to try and sort out the problem. This dutchman follows me in, throws his papers on the desk of the lacklustre official and gives him a right earful. Not in dutch or english but in the Serbo Croat lingo. This certainly did the trick and the Yugo finally got his ar-e in gear which helped my cause also. I thanked the driver and asked how long it had taken him to become proficient in the language. “Six months” he said. What were you doing to learn the language in the first place, thinking he may have been working there. “I was doing eighteen months” he replied. Seems he had an accident in his lorry and been banged up for it.
The second little tale is to do with Alan Brown aka the ■■■ Machine. We were in the National and Alan had parked his, I think, OHS Mack in the exact position the PIE lorry is parked in the attached photo. A group of us drivers were sitting around drinking beer in the evening when Alan climbed into his lorry with this old dog of a Yugo women. None of us would have employed her to clean our trailers out but Alan wasn’t so fussy. Next morning we were all back in the restaurant having breakfast when Alan came in. To say he looked rough was an understatement but he obviously wanted to recount his night of passion, or in his case ■■■■. He told us he only had six condoms and by the early hours had used them all. He woke up about six and was still feeling randy so searched the cab for more condoms without success. The only thing he could do was recycle a used one. It was at this point some of the drivers felt a bit queasy with their recently eaten breakfast looking to make a quick exit. However, what really made some of them rush outside for fresh air was when Alan said, “I don’t care what they do to me. They can pi-s on me, they can sh-t on me. I love it all”. It was only later that I thought, ‘Poor sod to be so afflicted’.
