Help to stop the Mrs sell my house

Tipperdipper1:

Dipper_Dave:
Our ■■■■■ used to bring mice home put them down then bugger off and do something else, only to return later on to the same spot looking all confused as to why the mouse had buggered off.

Woke up many mornings to find a mouse’s head in one room and the body in another, found one in me shoe once.

I’ve also shoved a mouse sextoy up the wife’s ■■■■■…

Did you buy that toy or did you “crrate” it out the 2 mouse body parts■■?

Some ■■■■■ toys from the pet shop can also be handy for other ■■■■■■■

Thanks for asking, it was one of these bad boys:

The wife loved it, especially when I double clicked.
Top tip: For added pleasure use 2.