Back in 2003 I was driving a bus from Liverpool to bootle, at the top of the road I was born in a young girl (16 years old with downs syndrome) ran straight out in front of me.
I was travelling at 24.5 mph according to police which tallied with my statement of about 25mph.
The poor girl died there and then, the last thing she saw was me as we caught eyes through the screen.
In no way was this my fault and the inquest confirmed this. But at the time I was numb to it knowing I did nothing wrong.
A year later at the age of 9 my stepson developed non hodgkins lymphoma and spent a tear in hospital (he is in zante now rocking 
) then somehow it seems I got my Mrs pregnant.
When my daughter was a year or so old I lost the plot big time. I had the crisis team out to me every day. I was diagnosed with ptsd, apparently It went back further than the traffic incident (who knew)
My point is, talk, talk to everyone who will listen, my ptsd nearly cost me my life and family.
I did nothing wrong in my life, but I nearly gave up My life for a guilt I never should have had, please talk as this can bite your backside many years later, the sooner you deal with even the slightest doubt the less you will suffer in the long run.
I am still fighting angisighty (spelling) and lack of confidence, though mates who didn’t know me before think I’m a cocky knob now lol (imagine haha)
It still haunts me even after a couple of career changes, I did office work for years, but I enjoy driving and even nearly 15 years on it still haunts me but you can learn coping mechanisms.
With all the fantastic help I had from the NHS (yes really) you need to admit you have a problem then and only then you can help yourself.
Please please do not think you can cope like I thought, talk early and talk frankly, involving your Mrs or girlfriend as well.
I hope your are okay, feel free to chat.
Ste.