Driven to Despair - Report on DVLA medical section

Take one standard chimp.
Train it to recognise a tick in a box.
Train it so that if there are enough ticks, it should press Button A, reward with banana or hob-nob
Train it so that if boxes are not ticked, it should press Button B, reward with banana or hob-nob
Attach Button A to automated licence issuing software.
Attach Button B to a black light in an unlit, unoccupied room.
You have created a responsive and efficient licence issuing process that costs only bananas or hob-nobs to run so,
Award yourself a new Audi and a fat pension.

Your name is Oliver Morely.