Its a strange thing when someone you had children with then dies.
2 weeks ago an ex of mine passed away, have 2 sons with her, she remarried. I have been remarried now for 22yrs, but although it was a relief when we parted etc , I, to my surprise found myself feeling a bit upset, she was only 55. Have not seen one of my boys since 2007, he is 32, he wants to see me, I have 5 grandchildren who I have never met…very hard to reconcile but you surprise your self, well I have lol.
Good luck & as has been said take it slow & let them do the talking. 