Claire,
It sounds like you have a lot to learn!
You will find doing the CPC will answer many of your questions. You can go on a course or do homestudy coarse or even just read a book about it and do the exam.
If the last option is the one you find most appealing (and it is certainly the cheapest), I’d recomend these titles:
A Study Manual of Professional Competence in Road Haulage
The Certificate of Professional Competence
Both by David Lowe and published by Kogan Page.
I did my CPC this way (some years ago) and passed. From what I remember they are very well written unlike some of the “correspondent course” stuff I’ve seen since which costs an arm and a leg!
Link: kogan-page.co.uk/asp/booklist.asp
Hope this gets you started…and good luck!
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