Off topic advice on child support agency

Hello mate, sorry to hear about your troubles. It can’t make your life any easier. As other have said, remember that your child is going to grow up. You might not be able to see them in the mean time, but you can still behave honorably. The chances are, they’ll come looking for you when they’re older - it’s up to you to make sure they’ll be proud of the man they find.

As for the CSA stuff, remember that everything is negotiable, one way or another - but the most important thing to do is not make a mess before you start negotiating!

Have a nose around the CAB online site here citizensadvice.org.uk/index/getadvice.htm and see what they can do to help you reduce/manage etc your payments. Any dealings you have with CAB/CSA/CMS/your ex etc, you need to write good notes or good old fashioned kill’em with kindness emails… if stuff goes shiny side down and you end up in court, you want your correspondence to paint you as Mr Reasonable Good-Chap III :smiley:

CAB works so slowly that it makes snails look like they’re cracking on a pace, so go in equipped with lots of patience and a thermos of tea! It’s generally do-gooder types who work there, so get them on your side and they’ll do a lot for you… just not very fast!

Crack on, drink copious amounts of tea and keep asking yourself ‘am I doing the right thing?’ so long as the answer is ‘yes’, no matter how unpleasant the thing is, you’ll have a clear conscience and good things will start happening.

Best of luck.