Off topic advice on child support agency

Unfortunately whereas two people create a life, and then spilt up the man ends up paying for the first 16 to 18 years of that child’s life,it’s a simple fact and you can’t run away from it.
If your ex has moved on with someone else, so should you… if you are having access issues seeing and spending time with your son the only way forward is either mediation and if that doesn’t work then using a solicitor to get access through the courts… You have to question why is the Ex refusing this, under what basis…Yes it will cost and be a bit of an emotional roller coaster but once its in place then its effectively a legally binding contract of sorts

Then comes the part about the CSA, they normally recommend that when a relationship splits, both parties come to an arrangement over access and agree a figure for maintenance, obviously if none was that up in place after the split and you didn’t come up with the money, then your Ex going to the CSA was her only option.
Thing about the CSA is they work out what you should be paying each week/month based on your income ( P60 ), now if you have any challenge to the CSA over this then you must address this sooner rather than later, so be sure to have either wage slips or your (P60’s ) to hand…
Thing about the CSA is, if you should be paying £100 per week for one child say as an example, in fact you’re paying £125 -£130 to the CSA as this money extra is an admin fee… you’d be surprised who much money there making over this… thats why having it sorted with the Ex would have been better, but by all means this doesn’t mean she’s getting £125 - £130… She’s only getting £100.

You question about going self -employed, all I can say is, if you limited your income, then gonna be reducing the amount you will have to pay weekly / monthly… to the Ex…Simple…

End of the day doing yourself in is not the option, plus do you really want your son knowing in years to come you chicken’d out of life…over paying for his up bringing… If you don’t fight the access issue and you don’t get to see your soon…Still send him stuff for birthdays and Christmas… he’ll come and find you in years to come