Loosing a friend

[tango boy]

My mate Neil Smith died a couple of months ago (suicide) and i don't know why he did this.
I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with it all and he is always on my mind, he was like my little brother and we had been working together at Emersons for the past year so had become closer.
I wake up and he's normally the first thing i think about and when i go to bed this is where the problem starts as my mind goes into overtime and it's all i can think about.
I tramp all week so sleep in the truck and i'm finding it hard to get to sleep at night because of this.
Will it get any better or any easier ?????
Suggestions please.

Thanks.


Tim.

[the flying foden]

it will get better with time . i lost a very good friend when we were both in our yearly 20s he got killed on the M6 by a truck the crossed the center reservation. give it time and it will get easier .but you never forget them .best of luck hard times very hard times .

[tango boy]

Thank you, i hope it does.

[m1cks]

I think the problem with a suicide is all the unanswered questions it can leave behind.
Should I have noticed something? Did I do anything to make them miserable? Would things be different if they had asked for help? The list can be exhaustive and no doubt you've questioned many other things.
With an accident or terminal illness there's less to reflect on so it can be easier to accept (I'm not saying thats always the case)
At least you're asking for help to deal with this instead of keeping quiet. In an information hungry society where most of your answers are a quick google search away we sometimes struggle with situations where we cannot find an answer.
I wish you well and hope with time and the right help that things improve for you.

[tango boy]

I think the problem with a suicide is all the unanswered questions it can leave behind.
Should I have noticed something? Did I do anything to make them miserable? Would things be different if they had asked for help? The list can be exhaustive and no doubt you've questioned many other things.
With an accident or terminal illness there's less to reflect on so it can be easier to accept (I'm not saying thats always the case)
At least you're asking for help to deal with this instead of keeping quiet. In an information hungry society where most of your answers are a quick google search away we sometimes struggle with situations where we cannot find an answer.
I wish you well and hope with time and the right help that things improve for you.

Thank you, the trouble is he was fine right up to when i happened.
There is a lot of unanswered questions and his family and everyone else will never know what really happened.

[animal]

Sometimes you never know why or how or what caused it they may appear fine all of the time as a lot of people can hide this most of the time but you can never blame yourself for this

It should become easier in time there is help out there but you have to look for it & not easy when you away all week as there is no quick fix for this

You know where I am if you want ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

[tango boy]

Thanks Ang, i appreciate it.

[Ady Williams]

I lost my best friend on my 18th he was a few months older he had been bitten by a pig on his dad's farm which broke his leg, so was housebound for a few weeks with a pot, the day before my 18th I was up at the farm taking the piss about him on crutches round town etc and everything was fine. The night and drinks started to flow and we waited for my mate to turn up and waited.....His folks thought he was with me and 20+years ago no mobiles.
It was early afternoon the following day when his brother found him hanging in one of the barns.
You like me will always have questions I was riddled with guilt for a long time, don't know why as there were no signs but even now reading your post brings it back.
The effects last a lifetime but the pain slowly fades.
RIP To lost friends.

[seth 70]

A really good friend of mine was found hung in the garage by his girlfriend ,,he had a good job,nice house and 2 small kids,,he was planning on getting married ,,nobody to this day had any clue why he did it,,he allways seemed happy and had carefree attitude,,,you really dont know whats happening inside peoples heads,,,its scary he worked for his girlfriends dad who had a biggish tipper firm,the plan was for him and his wife to be to take over,,since his death they have packed in with the tippers and the yard has got houses on it..

[Roymondo]

http://www.cruse.org.uk/ if you need to talk to someone about it.

[tango boy]

http://www.cruse.org.uk/ if you need to talk to someone about it.

Thanks, will take a look.

[Cooooper]

It's true when they say that time is a great healer, it will get better, slowly until one day you'll realise you're feeling better about it. It's still early days, I learnt that when I lost a friend of mine to a heart attack, there are a lot of what ifs for the people left behind.
Talking helps, if not to someone professional then to other people who knew him, the worst thing is to lock it all inside, it needs to come out somehow.
All the best mate.

[seth 70]

Ifs theres something on your mind, driving is the worst job in the world,,,its just you by yourself and you start to think all sorts of bad things,,,,,its damn hard tangoboy and i dont envy you at all,,it will get better m8 thats all i can say

[tango boy]

Sorry to read the sad losses of the other op's.
I do all the thing's in the week he would be doing which makes it harder, i just really miss him

[seth 70]

You dont have to answer this tangoboy ,,,,,but how did he take his life it takes some guts and planning to take your own life

[tango boy]

Hung himself mate

[seth 70]

Theres a article about neil in the new trucking mag tangoboy

[tango boy]

Yes mate, he was in the free paper you get at truck stops to, shame they haven't put more pictures in
There is some videos going round on facebook of the convoy
I was driving his truck with his mum in the cab with me. Red Mercedes

[seth 70]

Yes mate, he was in the free paper you get at truck stops to, shame they haven't put more pictures in
There is some videos going round on facebook of the convoy
I was driving his truck with his mum in the cab with me. Red Mercedes

Sad m8,,,,,,,,,im not on facebook,is there a link so i can have look,then i can see who we are talking about

[tango boy]

Yes mate, he was in the free paper you get at truck stops to, shame they haven't put more pictures in
There is some videos going round on facebook of the convoy
I was driving his truck with his mum in the cab with me. Red Mercedes

Sad m8,,,,,,,,,im not on facebook,is there a link so i can have look,then i can see who we are talking about

I'm not on facebook either so can't help you there mate sorry

[tango boy]

Yes mate, he was in the free paper you get at truck stops to, shame they haven't put more pictures in
There is some videos going round on facebook of the convoy
I was driving his truck with his mum in the cab with me. Red Mercedes

Sad m8,,,,,,,,,im not on facebook,is there a link so i can have look,then i can see who we are talking about

I'm not on facebook either so can't help you there mate sorry

If you type in your toolbar burton mail then serch Neil Smith it's all on there mate

[seth 70]

Still no joy m8 ,,,got on the newspapers page but cant find owt

[tango boy]

Still no joy m8 ,,,got on the newspapers page but cant find owt

Go onto the burton mail home page, where the search bar is type in Neil Smith, scroll down and there is 4 stories about him

[seth 70]

Still no joy m8 ,,,got on the newspapers page but cant find owt

Go onto the burton mail home page, where the search bar is type in Neil Smith, scroll down and there is 4 stories about him

Got it pal

[tango boy]

Still no joy m8 ,,,got on the newspapers page but cant find owt

Go onto the burton mail home page, where the search bar is type in Neil Smith, scroll down and there is 4 stories about him

Got it pal

Nice 1, I drove his truck the red merc, its very similar to mine

[tango boy]

Happy Birthday Neil Smith MISS YOU MATE
He would be 31 today!!!

[tango boy]

A year ago today gone too soon RIP mate miss you!!!

[Bach home]

R.I.P. fella

[bald bloke]

I have a mates funeral to go to today i've known him since we met at primary school when we were 8 yrs old and he passed away new years day at just gone midnight. He had twin teenage daughters and was only 49, it started as lung cancer then slowly spread about as it does, there'll be a good turn out and i have tomorrow off as it will get messy later !!

He was very open about it and used to say to people "make sure you can make my funeral won't you" and we used to joke to him about putting a nice spread on and leaving some money behind the bar for us and he took it all well and enjoyed the banter.

RIP Dennis.

[animal]

Was a good mate of mine funeral on mon she passed on 29th dec aged 49 " adult cot death " leaving 3 teenage children