Services in Layby on A3

north surrey haulage:
They like 'em rough in that layby.

EVEN I GOT PROPOSITIONED THERE!!!

I’ll give you the full story when I’m home on my pc not on this pda

It was on a Friday when I was still based on the Purley Way (A23) Croydon.

I had been sent from Felixstowe to Coventry.When I was tipped they rang and changed the restitution for the container to Southampton :unamused: from Tilbury.

When I got to Southampton I had been given the wrong reference for my empty out of Pentalvers to load on Monday.As usual everybody had already gone home in the office at Hanburys.

Eventually the bloke in Pentalvers went through every fax and I got my box.

This all meant that I couldn’t get home that night and had to stop about an hour short on the A3 at Wisley.

The layby was full up apart from a space on the very end which I had pull forward of and back into from the exit slip.
I got out to wash the nearside front wheel :wink: when I noticed a bloke walking towards me.

When reading the following conversation bear in mind I wasn’t in the best of moods due to the Pentalver fiasco

Him in red
Me in green

Alright

Yeah

He keeps on walking towards me

Can I help you?

What do you mean?

Have you got a problem?

No why?

Because you will have in a minute!

Why?

I’m having a [zb] now [zb] off!

He then stops about halfway down the trailer 'til I’m finished the carries on walikng toward me

Is there much about?

What?

Is there much about?

What? Stop talking in [zb] riddles and tell me what you’re on about!

Couples

Still not having twigged

Couples of what?

You know having ■■■

Duz it look like there’s a [zb] couple having [zb] ■■■ here?

Would you be interested in having ■■■ with my girlfriend in the cab?

Listen mate I’ll give you some advice.I’m in a [zb] bad mood I’m not interested in having ■■■ with ya missus,You,your cousin or your nextdoor neighbour I just wanna go to bed get up in the morning and go home unless you can arrange for Kylie Minouge.
Can ya?

No.But once you see my girlfriend you’ll change your mind

I can assure you I wont and you’re starting wind me up now,I’m gonna go to bed now 'coz I’m knackered.

The last trucker said he was too tired until he saw her he soon changed his mind.
He had a Magnum.

I was thrown for a split second trying to figure the relevance of the Magnum in all this.
By this time I was climbing back in the cab

If a car pulls in front of you and flashes it’s brake lights it means they want to have ■■■ with you.

I’ve told you I’m not interested

At this point I was in the cab and he was standing in the open doorway so I couldn’t shut the door.So I put my foot on his shoulder and pushed him out of the way

Now [zb] off!

He walked off and while I was doing my tacho I noticed a brand new Toyota Rav4 pull alongside me and I looked down to see a lady of around 25 years old looking up at me.
She was very good looking (I mean model quality not airfix either) wearing a mini skirt that showed about 2" of skin between her stocking tops and hem line and just a ■■■■ tube on top.
I looked down at her
she looked up at me then spoke to the driver
looked back at me then they pulled in front of me and started flash their brake lights.
It was at this point I laughed to myself as I realised that I never asked soapy how I respond if I’m willing.(not that I would as thats not my bag man)
Anyway they drove off after about 30 seconds then within 5 mins I had 4 different motors pull in front of me all flashing their brake lights.

All geezers :open_mouth: :open_mouth:

It did make me feel better because I had thought I was equally unattractive to both sexes :wink: :wink: :laughing: :laughing: