May I refer you to my agency waffle handbook, you may already have a copy but here goes:
1, You have been cancelled - We found someone cheaper to do the job.
2, They’ve asked for you by name - We can’t get anybody else to do the job so are blowing smoke up your arse to get you to do it.
3, They’ve pencilled you in for all next week - We’ve not got anything for you but want to make sure you don’t work for anybody else, a phone call on Monday normally results with see number 1.
4, We can’t pay you because you never sent in your signed time sheet - We want to hold on to your money as long as possible even though the law states that we must pay you regardless of presenting a timesheet or not.
5, Its a bit quiet - We’ve been too busy eating donuts all day to bother finding any work.
6, How’s my number one driver? - Designed to blow smoke up your already patronised arse.
7, How’s my star driver? - See number 6.
8, We’ll sort out the shortfall on your wage next week - Damned you for noticing us trying to fleece you again, hopeful you’ll forget by next week.
9, She’s out of the office at the moment, can I get her to call you back? - She’s sat waving her arms in the air shaking her head because she does not want to take your call.
10, We’re just doing our ring rounds to see who is available for work - we are trying to find out where all the work is, if you tell them you are booked already the next question is " oh yeah…where?" so that they can visit the same firm and undercut your agency.
11, Keep your phone switched on mate, we’re due some work in - See number 6.
12, Can you help us out, we’ve been let down by another driver, could you get there as soon as you can? - This bloke keeps blobbing on us but he’s cheaper than you so we keep using him in the hope he will turn up.
13, Are you working tonight? - We’re sniffing to see where the work is and hoping that because you’re such a gobby git you wont be able to hold your P**** and you will reveal everything.
14, Do you fancy a week of days next week? - We haven’t really got any work for you but we need a new way to sniff to see where the work is and thought if we asked this way then it would fool you.
15, I’m just waiting on them getting back to me with a booking for tonight mate, stand by your phone - You will be a skeleton by the time your phone rings, I’m just trying to make sure I’ve got some muppet waiting for me to call if a company rings us.
16, They said they don’t want you anymore - Because you wouldn’t run bent they don’t like it so we’re sending them someone who will.
17, We’re not like all the other agencies - We really are and you should re read number 6.
18, I’ve got a night trunk for you - When you get there you’ll be shunting.
More will come to me soon, to be updated.
Now as you may well have gathered by now, agencies do not have a very good name and just so you are not mislead here we are not talking about just a few rotten apples, we are talking ALL agencies, without doubt and without question. I guarantee yours will go down the same road because when you have the customer dictating rates to agencies then things can only go in one direction.
What we need are agencies that actually really do offer a service, a service with bloody good drivers that know what they are doing and are paid accordingly. Drivers that are well looked after will not want to take a full time job with your clients and will politely decline if approached hence keeping you with the top blokes helping to make you look good.
Stay away from the price wars because that is what is ruining this game, if a company tells you what they will pay then tell them what you charge and walk away. Don’t undercut simply to close another agency out because you will struggle to find the right calibre of driver to make you look good and enable you to win the work.
I could go on forever but really can’t be bothgered telling those who should know what they are doing how to do their job. If you can’t see what is wrong with the industry then maybe you shouldn’t be in it.