bones ,when i was young my mum and dad split up(5) one weekend on visiting day i told my dad he wasnt to see me again just to keep my mum happy as she would get upset when my dad came to the house .
he never came back ,i never saw him again,i found out a few years ago that he had died from cancer some years ago .
i wish with all my heart that i had kept in touch with him but it cant be changed now
what happened in the end bones■■?
My father in law recently got back in touch with his father & discoverd 2 or 3 sisters he never knew he had.
His father died a couple of years after that first contact & I KNOW he was glad he had that time with him.
Just read this post
What was the outcome.
Basically i have not seen my Real dad for the best part of 19 years, 
We used to be real close and spent loads of time toghether. However my parents split and after a year of me visiting at weekends and holidays it stopped, and since that day i have not known his location or even if he was alive or dead . about 5 years ago i was contacted by another member of that side of the family and i regained contact with my Grandma and aunties etc. However they also had lost contact with my dad due to a family argument!!.
Well the dilema is i have after some digging found his current address and telephone number. 
So what do i do?? 
baring in mind the last time i saw him i was 11! write a letter, turn up on the doorstep,phone him or just let it go?? I really dont know what to do for the best.
Any ideas??
I have a friend in a similar situation, his mother turned him against his Dad.
He got married, then chucked out, having nowhere else to go, he just turned up at his Dads, was invited in and welcomed with open arms, and ended up staying there for quite some time until he got back on his feet.
There are only two things you can do, throw away your Dads address and forget him, or take the bit in your teeth and get yourself round there.
Throw away his address, and you will never know what your Dad is like now.
He possibly had good reason to “abandon you”, the family argument is nothing to do with you.
I wish you the best of luck with whichever decision you make.
My Dad died at the age of 61 when I was 13, I never got to know him as my kids know me.
I will always regret not knowing my Dad better, even my oldest brother at the age of 23 was only just getting to know him.
Thanks for the reply,
I think the original falling out that stopped me seeing him was over maintainance payments not been made. then as time went by i guess it was who was going to make the first move and ring up and it worked out that neither of us did! 
write him a letter, asking him to contact you. If you don’t get a reply nothing will have changed from your current situation, If he replies then there’s a chance to get to know him - if that’s what you want 
If you don’t try now you’ll wonder what would have happened for years …
Denis F:
write him a letter, asking him to contact you. If you don’t get a reply nothing will have changed from your current situation, If he replies then there’s a chance to get to know him - if that’s what you want
I couldn’t agree more write the letter. good luck.
phone him bones,you will be able to tell by the way he’ll talk to you if he is interested in meeting you.but make it in a neutral place a pub or a cafe in his area that way you’s are both on a level playing field.
don’t leave it as it will eat away at you not knowing what he was like or could have been like.
good luck and let us know how the meeting goes.
This is exactly why I say that maintenance payments should have nothing to do with visitations. I think you should write a letter. He’s probably not expecting to hear from you, and a phone call out of the blue might not give you the reaction you want. We don’t always react the way we should or even the way we really feel when we get a shock like that. A letter won’t put him on the spot, and will give him time to think and decide how he really feels. If he’s any kind of dad at all, he’ll call you once he reads it. Keep in mind that he could be feeling a lot of guilt about all this, so be patient. Some things take time to make right.
all the best whatever you decide Bones. I know a little bit what its like, I aint seen or spoke to my mother or 2 of my sisters in over 5 years after a row in the family, they live all within 2 miles. One sister I do have some contact with. Its tough to decide whether to be the one to make contact and all that, and maybe tough to do if the decisions made to go through with it I dunno, so good luck whatever you decide, I aint made my own mind up as yet.
Thanks for all the advice people. After much thought Theres a christmas card and letter on its way tonight. So in a few days i should no either way eh!
bones i went through this 4 years ago my real dad and mom split before i was born and i was brought up or dragged some might say by my grand parents on my moms side when my first son was due 4 years ago i got in touch with my dad and we met i also met my 11year old half sister at first everything was great then about a year and a bit ago we just ran outta things to say to each other and weve not spoke since.so my advice would be get in touch by phone first and hopefully mate it will all go well just dont do what i did and go at it like a bull in a china shop.goodluck mate 
I know you have sent the letter and I think you did
right in my opinion as he could have been a bit surprised
by the call and may come across as though he is not
bothered or something like that.
Good luck Bones 
bones did your dad reply to the letter