New bloke started at our place the other day. Supposed to be a Volvo “technician”
You know the type if it cant be done on a computer it cant be done!
He says to me “what we got in”
I says there is a trailer out there with a top rear outline marker out
He goes out and comes back in and says he cant do it.
I think maybe they damaged the corner or some thing.
I asks him why and just looked at this cretin in disbelief.
he says straight up “Im not ladder trained”
WTF is going on!!!
Have I woke up in a different bloody universe?
I got to get out this transport bollox before I lose the will to live.
I know he is an ex main agent muppet but even these snowflakes can climb a bleedin ladder cant they?
Maybe it is me!
May I respectfully refer you to the thread on the main board about the chap whose tipper hit overhead powerlines and his firm may be shelling out 300 k, and the container firm that had to shell out 170k despite the chap not bothering with the parking brake. And you have your answer. Anything not clear just read any of Rjans 64 replies and it will be Crystal.
But yeah, same as you.
Most workshops havent had ladders for at least a decade if not longer, even fold out stepladders are frowned upon.
On our shift the youngest is 45 and we reckon we are some of the last to have worked literally in ■■■■ conditions that mechs nowadays just wouldnt entertain.
Ps I love the term snowflake as it really upsets them 
No it isn’t just you, they’re breeding like locusts.
This about 9 years ago, i’m on agency for a short while.
Keys handed to me for Scanny at supermarket RDC, i go and check unit, check oil level and whilst the bonnet is up i always check the front cab mounts cos Scanny’s ones regularly break, sure enough one’s snapped in the usual spot, and judging by the wear and rubbing marks its been broke a fair while.
Hand keys back, ‘‘it’s VOR mate broken cab mount’’ cue rabbit caught in headlights expression, ‘‘er right take it round to the chap who changes bulbs’’…i kid you not, drivers not allowed to change a bulb there, they actually employ a bloke to do minor stuff like this which in reality means they pay a bloke to sit on his arse for most of the day.
So i take it round to said bulb bloke ‘‘ere mate do you happen to have a Scanny cab front mount unit in yer back pocket?’’, bloke comes and looks at it ‘‘why have you brought that to me it’s VOR thats a Scania dealer job’’ ‘‘er yeah you and i know that but the geezer behind the counter thinks you have a cab mount in yer pocket and full workshop facilities in the kabin’’ cue comments of murderous nature.
So i take it back round to the front, ‘‘its VOR mate’’ ‘‘oh ok here’s another unit’’
And another hour ticks by, kerching.
I could run through sad tales like this all bloody day.
Dead starter on Volvo transporter, i’m on the pumps at MSA, ring in, ‘‘don’t bring batteries or jump starters, it needs a pull start so bring a lorry’’…yep you guessed it waste of breath, bloke turns up in little van with batteries and leads, so has to go back for wrecker to pull start me.
Scania transporter, same thing dead starter but luckily i’m on a hill, bump starts (try that with opticruise kids 
) no trouble so i keep it running all day, has been expected starter been dodgy for ages, tight as ducks arse boss won’t get it fixed till it can’t go any more.
Get back to Scanny dealer that night job all sorted, i’ve told ‘em its a dead starter, loaded artic transporter with peak over the cab (cannot drop one of these loaded), young mechanic brings starter pack out…’‘switch off driver’‘…’‘er its not the batteries its the starter’’ …‘‘switch it off driver’’…‘‘do you want me to jack knife the unit so if it doesn’t jump start you will be able to tilt the cab’’…by now he’s got the arse…‘‘just switch the bloody engine off’’…‘‘ok’’.
Switch engine off, bloke connects jump pack, starter dead.
So now clever ■■■■■■■■ has to change the starter the hard way.
Standing (or rather doubled up) in the doorway behind watching and listening to this exchange was one of the old mechanics who i’ve known for years who was almost in tears with laughter, i ■■■■■■ off home.
The country is buggered, common sense gone the same way as freedom of speech.
Give us a shout if you ever write a rubbish post juddian, I’d like to disagree with you just the once.
Hey Juddian you would have laughed (or cried) the other week.
Woman driver comes in garage for some bollox or other.I looks at her and her face is coverd in black ink,she has been sucking on a ball point pen and the inks come out and its all over her lips and chin.
I start laughin and she says about the pen.
Tears rollin down my face I just says as a joke looks like you been givin Bertie Basset a ■■■■■■■■.
She starts laughin and wanders off
FFS she only reported me for ■■■■■■ harassment.
Luckily there was two drivers and another fitter there who stood my corner.
WTF is wrong with these people?
Where I now work drivers are not allowed to change bulbs or top up the coolant, but they can do their own oil, cue non stop Euro 6 dafs reporting to much oil in the sump!
Then as some of them think the blue screenwash in the big barrel is in fact coolant which gives some lovely frothing in the header tank.
Theres the odd old school driver who actually knows whats what as for the rest, but they are a real rarity.
We get drivers come around saying they have a top trailer marker out, we go look and lo and behold they have sidelights out down the whole side of the trailer and half of the tractor and they didnt notice that but did notice the one top light out.
Agency guy only yesterday handed me two defects one for truck one for trailer with multiple sidelights out, one fuse sorted, I think he got his licence from ebay.
As for the accident damage all caused by mrfuckknows, mrwasntme and of course mritwaslike it when I got it is unreal I would say with no exageration theres at least 5 separate bits of kit vor daily from accident damage out of 400.
We now have two new apprentices apparently we arent allowed to swear at them/shout at them or best of all make them sweep up, I kid you not
My whole shift at work is spent shouting/swearing/abusing my workmates using the choicest language.
Bking:
Hey Juddian you would have laughed (or cried) the other week.
Woman driver comes in garage for some bollox or other.I looks at her and her face is coverd in black ink,she has been sucking on a ball point pen and the inks come out and its all over her lips and chin.
I start laughin and she says about the pen.
Tears rollin down my face I just says as a joke looks like you been givin Bertie Basset a ■■■■■■■■.
She starts laughin and wanders off
FFS she only reported me for ■■■■■■ harassment.
Luckily there was two drivers and another fitter there who stood my corner.
WTF is wrong with these people?
One of the guys was topping up coolant the other day and kept looking at me as I walked past raising his eyes to the cab, I looked up to see a blonde hair lady was sat in the cab and wondered what he was on about, turned out it was a bloke with a wig/lippy/nail varnish and ladies clothes as you do.
Worked for a firm the other day, was waiting at the transport desk for keys when another young driver comes in, says “Units VOR mate, left hand indicators are out” bloke asks have you checked the fuses? driver replies “nope not my job that’s for the fitters I’m a driver”. Long back and forth ensues I even offered to show him how to do it and he refused! Saw the same driver down the road a day later, was arguing with a warehouse clerk that he wouldn’t put his trailer on a bay as once again “its not my job that’s the shunters job”.
I give up somedays!!
hamletbarnard:
Worked for a firm the other day, was waiting at the transport desk for keys when another young driver comes in, says “Units VOR mate, left hand indicators are out” bloke asks have you checked the fuses? driver replies “nope not my job that’s for the fitters I’m a driver”. Long back and forth ensues I even offered to show him how to do it and he refused! Saw the same driver down the road a day later, was arguing with a warehouse clerk that he wouldn’t put his trailer on a bay as once again “its not my job that’s the shunters job”.I give up somedays!!
And people want to bring back unions, the fitter wouldn’t be allowed to check the fuse as that is an electricians job [emoji14]
Talking to a bloke the other day,a retired mechanic and he told me a tale.
He worked for British Gas.One day a driver comes in and tells him that since he topped up the coolant with anti freeze its been over heating.
He says we have no bloody antifreeze.
Driver says yes we have its over there in a big drum.He say where?
There .Its written on the drum ATF
An Ti Freeze !!!
Pillock had topped up the coolant with auto transmission fluid.
Was in Wigan though!
Some years ago I had a customer for about a year whose elderly father was still an active part of the day to day business. He had extremely poor sight, so bad that he could only read if he held everything almost touching his nose, this even while wearing his milk bottles.
I had problems with this customer since it was never clear who was in charge, son or father. Whichever they always provided the parts they wanted fitted new or secondhand. I was only ever asked to do repairs which they didn’t feel like doing themselves. Quite often whatever I said required doing would be challenged particularly if either one of them thought up what they thought might be cheaper. Whenever I was working for them son would normally disappear delivering for most of the day leaving father in the office.
Three times the same thing happened, father put ATF in the clutch fluid reservoir with predictable results a few weeks later. The final straw came when a Scania clutch servo had to be renewed and they started blaming me.