Last Spring, I made a post on here stating that my truck company had generously allowed me several weeks off to go back and do some coach driving, that I was going to do two tours over the summer, and that the type of work I was going to do might suit some younger blokes among you who might have a PCV from bus work. I thought I’d post up a diary to give you an idea of what it’s like on the other side of the fence carrying a live cargo that talks. Hopefully you’ll find it an interesting read.
(Disclaimer). Before anyone starts with the TN sarky comments, this is not a diary where I’m ‘rubbing it in’ to truck drivers about what a fun job coach drivers have. The job of a tour driver is hard work, and any one of you that have done coach driving already will know what I’m on about. It can be very stressful, you have to clean the coach every day (the windows are the worst, trying not to leave smears), you have to wet nurse your young passengers and keep them safe, navigate across Europe and into every city and have up to 45 pairs of eyes witness it if you get lost, and sometimes the days can be very long and hard. However, when it does all go to plan, you do get to do and see some fun stuff and those are the rewards of the job.
I’ve just tried to give a factual account of a typical tour.
I did two tours during June and July 2018, one a 12 day hotel tour and the second one a 17 day hostel tour. I’ve done a diary on the the second tour as it’s probably a bit more interesting.
When you read the word hostel, some of you older blokes probably think back to the YHA hostels of old, which were cold and damp and dreary, more like an army barracks. Well, today’s hostels are a world away from all that. Still dormitories but now they are light and airy, with bunk beds complete with pull around privacy curtains, reading lamps, and several charging points around your bunk for devices and lockable cupboards for your belongings. There is also a proper bar and restaurant downstairs so the clients can have a good time and then just stagger upstairs to their bed.
Just some background on the tour company which I’ll refer to as TD during this diary. They are London and Australia based, but the European coaches are based in the Netherlands and run on Dutch plates. The clients are all between 18 and 39 but the oldest on any tour is usually around 25 to 27, and the ratio is about 80% girls, 20% boys. They mostly come from Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, South East Asia, USA and Canada.
Myself, I am known as a peak driver who comes in to help during the peak months of July and August where there can be anything up to 160 tours on the road. My uniform is company polo, jeans and branded trainers. Any cheaper ones from Shoe Zone will probably lose you some credibility with the clients.
The trip leader and I have to work together and have regular meetings to decide departure times, journey times, breaks and other logistical stuff to make sure the tour runs smoothly and gives these kids on their first visit to Europe, a trip to remember.
Ok, I’ll start the diary. It will be a long read so pick the right time to read it.
Day 0
It’s an early start from my home in the Netherlands, bidding farewell to my wife and kids and taking two trains and a taxi on the three hour journey to the coach yard which is based in the Zeeland part of Holland. On arrival at the yard, I’ll go into the office to have a chinwag with the coach company gaffers and collect the legal paperwork for the coach. Then, it’s into the workshop to find the coach waiting for me, and the mechanics finishing off bits and pieces.
The next 30 minutes are spent checking over the coach to see that it’s ready to conduct a 17 day tour. That includes checking all the gauges work, the lights work, the reading lamps, seat belts, seat recline levers and charging points for the clients work. Checking over the outside of the coach for any scrapes and taking photos so that it can’t be attributed to me. Then, checking over the engine itself and all the fluids, checking there is cleaning gear in the ski locker and finally making sure I have all the toll boxes in the windscreen that I will need for the tour.
After all that, it’s time to reverse out of the workshop and head out on the roughly two and a half hour journey to Calais port. Being empty, passport control is normally quite quick, with the border guys just running the dog around the coach to make sure it’s drug free. Then, it’s onto the ferry to Dover. On arrival in London, I would normally have to drive over to the tour company offices to do a briefing for my tour and to get all the paperwork, but I did my briefing for this tour at the same time as I did a briefing for the first tour so I have all my paperwork already and therefore it’s straight to the coach yard in North London which the company rents for the season.
Having parked the coach up, I pop into the nearby Tesco to load up with some supplies, and then it’s off to the Holiday Inn for the night and some dinner before early to bed, ready for the tour to start next day.
DAY 1
Another early start, heading down to reception where an Uber is waiting to take me over to the yard. Being 6am, I miss most of the rush hour traffic into Central London and I pull up to the hostel where the tour departs from at about 06:45am. This is when I first meet the trip leader that I’ll be working with for the next 17 days and introductions are made. She then brings the clients out and I load up the luggage. I then have to make a five to ten minute spiel on the coach PA introducing myself, telling the clients about the emergency exits, facilities on the coach, security in general, and how the tour from the driving side will run with regard to legal breaks. This spiel is the one main chance for the clients to get to know what their driver is like so I try to inject a bit of humour into the spiel so that you get them on your side from the very start. Then, it’s off into the rush hour traffic of London and we head down to Dover.
It’s roughly a two hour drive to Dover and the trip leader introduces herself to the group on the PA, and talks about the tour and how it will run each day, how the rooming lists work and talks about the optionals (activities that the clients can choose to go on or not, and are extra to the tour) for that day before doing some legal paperwork.
Down at Dover, we go first to passport control where the passengers have to get off to show their passports. It’s during this period that the driver normally gets to have a proper look at the clients, and the younger, single drivers would probably appraise the girls in quite some detail. However, as I am happily married, I only window shop briefly and then get back to the task of driving. It’s then round to check in and board the mid morning P & O to Calais.
On the ferry, the trip leader and I have breakfast, and have a discussion about how the first day will run. It’s going to be a long one, at least 15 hours. By the way, on each drive day, I will take the legal breaks required. Normally a 15 and then a 30 for lunch, and then another break if it is required before we reach our destination. The trip leader will also give me my Per Dium, which is my cash allowance for meals for the whole trip. A lot of the time, the accommodation will provide breakfast and dinner, but for those times when it doesn’t and it is only breakfast, then my allowance must be used.
On arrival at Calais, we head onto the A26 and A1 autoroute to Paris, stopping halfway for a 15. Depending on the notorious Paris traffic, we normally arrive in the centre of Paris in the late afternoon and I drop off at the hostel near the Gare du Nord. We give the clients time to check in and freshen up, and then we head off on our two hour driving tour of Paris taking in all the major land marks. On my initial training trip for the company, we spent two solid days from early morning to late evening, learning the driving tour. Driving round and round and round the same circuit until we finally had the route committed to memory. At the same time, the trainee trip leaders had to practise their tour spiels and get all their history facts correct.
The Paris tour is nice because the sun is usually going down at this point and all the city lights are twinkling, and it’s always fun to get the clients gasping as you head onto the mega busy roundabout of the Arc de Triomphe, with cars coming at you from all directions. We always park up near the Eiffel Tower for 20 minutes so the clients can see the sparkly light show on the tower that occurs on the hour. Then, it’s back to the hostel where I drop them off before heading over to the coach park at Parc de la Villette, parking up close on 15 hours.
A quick clean out of the coach and filling in paperwork, and then it’s back to the hostel on the metro, grabbing a takeaway on the way. If there are other TD drivers in town, I might have a quick drink with them at the bar, but after a 15 hour day, my bed is calling.
By the way, crew always get private en suite rooms at the hostels we stay at on the tour. No dormitory for us.
DAY 2
Another earlyish start. I grab some breakfast and then take the metro back to the coach park to collect the coach. Today, we’ll do drop offs at the Eiffel Tower and the Place de la Concorde for the clients to do their own thing. After dropping them and the trip leader off, I head to the outskirts of Paris to the fuel station to top up the tank for our drive to Switzerland and Italy over the next few days. A full tank will normally get me from Paris to Florence with a quarter left over.
Having fuelled up, I will either head back to the coach park and then the hostel for a three hour siesta or to do some city sightseeing, or if the coach is dirty on the outside, I will head over to the Paris Est campsite just outside the city where TD have a cook tent based and several chefs working. They will prepare the Paris picnic that is served to the clients that evening in the shadow of the gold domed Les Invalides which houses Napoleon’s tomb. The picnic will be a full on affair with trestle tables loaded down with food.
If I do go to Paris Est and clean the coach, it means I also get well fed by the chefs which will see me through to the picnic later, and I still get a siesta on one of the sunbeds on the site.
That evening, I head to Les Invalides with the empty coach for the picnic. The chefs have gone on ahead with all the food in their van. Usually, there are two or three TD groups in Paris, so it is one big picnic for around 150 clients and crew. The trestle tables and camp seating are arranged according to each group, and I have to say, the Chefs do a great job with the food. It’s no curly sandwiches in cling film. It’s a full on affair with platters and cake stands. It’s the sort of presentation that could easily be found in a four star buffet. The clients who have been sightseeing all day make their own way to Les Invalides in time for the picnic.
After the picnic, we have an optional tour to the Paris Cabaret. Those clients who signed up for it will have already put their nice clothes on board the coach in the morning, so I go to the coach and close some of the curtains. This gives a mobile changing room for first the girls, and then the guys to get changed in.
After the picnic, we head off on the 30 minute drive to the Paris Cabaret. After dropping them off, it can be hit and miss if you can find a ■■■■■■■■■■■■. On this tour, I was lucky and found a ■■■■■■■■■■■■ to leave the coach so I could go into the cabaret myself.
The cabaret as you might expect is a rather posh affair, with candlelit tables and a Master of Ceremonies. The acts consist of jugglers, magicians, trapeze artists and scantily clad women. One of my favorite acts is a bunch of scantily clad girls cavorting on five superbikes as the stage goes around in a circle. It’s amazing how you see a superbike in a totally different light after watching that performance. Think pole dancing but replaced by bikes. This youtube sequence shows the bikes. Can you bikers among you identify them? Drinks are included but it’s only soft drinks for me of course.
After the cabaret, it’s back to the hostel via the floodlit Notre Dame Cathedral. Half the clients head out into the city again, the other half stay at the bar. After dropping the coach off at the coach park, I head back. If it’s not too late, I’ll have a soft drink at the bar with some of the clients, and then off to bed for another long drive day tomorrow.
DAY 3
Another early start, grabbing some breakfast before heading to the coach park. Back to the hostel to load the luggage, and then a 9am departure for Switzerland. First I have to negotiate the rush hour traffic and the race track that is the busy ring road around Paris, the Boulevard Peripherique, and then we head onto the autoroute towards Dijon and Besancon. After the normal breaks on the way, we head onto the N roads that take us through the town of Pontarlier towards the Swiss border at Vallorbe. At the border, the trip leader and I get off the coach to use the company credit card to pay three days road tax. Once through the border, the scenic bit of Switzerland starts and we see snow capped mountains in the distance and start to skirt around deep blue lakes. We also pass road signs for the unfortunately named town of ■■■■■■■■ which always gets the clients cameras out.
As it is a long drive day, I take another break at a Swiss service station nicknamed Topgun. The Swiss service stations are always sparkling clean including the toilets and this particular services also offers an ■■■■■■ ■■■ shop right next to the gift shop. At these services, I will also clean the windscreen because at this point the really really nice scenery starts.
After the service stop, it’s about a 90 minute drive to the resort of Lautebrunnen which is our destination for two nights. At one point we drop down, and are then suddenly met by the beautiful vista that is Lake Thun right beside the road. If we’ve timed it right, the trip leader will put on this song just as the lake floods into view, getting the clients oohing and aahing.
Driving past this shimmering lake reminds me exactly why I do these two tours, getting to see all this beauty. Pretty soon, we turn off the motorway and join the winding road that will take us right through the Lautebrunnen valley. We pass rivers and waterfalls and pass through several scenic villages before arriving into Lautebrunnen itself. A cuckoo clock type village that is beautiful, but mega expensive to live in.
We arrive at the campsite and unload the luggage. Accommodation is in sturdy Swiss style wooden cabins. During the month of July, a small detachment of the Royal Marines are usually staying on the site too, conducting summer exercises, so they usually have a wonder over as we unload to see what has arrived and which of the girls they might be chatting up in the site bar later that night. When the Royal Marines travel, I’ve always sort of expected them to be in army landrovers and carry their equipment in hard arse all terrain army trucks. The reality is that they actually travel in rented minibuses from Sixt and use rental luton vans for the equipment.
On this camp site, there is another very large cook tent operated by TD, with chefs based here all season, so we know we’ll eat well for the next two nights.
After dropping my stuff off in my cabin, we all head over to the cook tent for sit down dinner. There are usually two or three TD tours on site at any one time so it’s like a staff reunion if you know the drivers, trip leaders and chefs from past seasons, or you make your introductions if you don’t.
Now, the main thing about TD is that everyone mucks in together. That means the drivers and trip leaders act as waiters to help serve the clients their food as the chefs serve it up and then the dessert. When we’ve had our own crew dinner, we then help out with the drying of the plates and cutlery afterwards when it comes out of the industrial washer. It’s not as bad as it sounds. We just serve large platters to the tables and the clients serve themselves. Also, the clients get to see the drivers and trip leaders all mucking in together, and see that we are a team. With the drying up, it’s just a case of grabbing a dish towel and swapping the gossip with the other crews as we dry a few plates and the kitchen hi fi is played at full blast. We also have free access to the kitchen beer fridge as a reward for our help so all is good with the world.
Next day is a day off for me, so that means I can go to the bar later for a proper drink and not have to worry. Drinks are free for crew, as long as you don’t abuse the privilege and get totally off your face. That night in the bar is when you also get to chat to the clients properly. Remember though, that these clients are only in their twenties, usually their first time away from home, so it tends to get a bit lively in there after a while and I usually call it a night around then. As I walk out, the Royal Marines are sauntering in flexing their muscles to impress the girls, lol.
DAY 4
I usually get up early and go and have breakfast in the tent. There is nothing like walking out of your cabin in July and seeing the Lautebrunnen valley in its full glory in the morning sunshine. The air is so fresh and it’s also so quiet and peaceful, no sound to be heard except for the Trummelbach waterfalls crashing down the rock face in the distance. It’s a leisurely breakfast and I don’t have to get involved in any clear up duties this time. It’s during breakfast when you see quite a few sore headed clients wonder in.
Today as I said is my day off. I have the option to wonder around the valley and go on a long hike into the mountains, or go on a bike ride, or I have the option to join one of the two optionals that have been arranged for the clients.
The first one is taking the mountain train up to Jungfrau, which at 4,158 metres is the main summit of the Bernese Alps and is the highest point in Europe. It involves taking two mountain trains to the summit which has snow all year round. It is so high up there that you can feel quite dizzy as you walk around the summit, due to the thin air which is less than at the base. It is also interesting to have a bag of crisps on your lap in the train, and watch how the bag expands due to the difference in air pressure. For some clients from Australia, it’s the first time they have ever seen snow.
I have done this optional a few times so didn’t want to do it again. I wanted the second optional if possible which is where clients have signed up to do a tandem sky jump out of a helicopter. This optional is very weather dependant and will get cancelled if the weather is too bad for the helicopter to fly in. Two of our clients had signed up for this optional and luckily the weather was an excellent sunny day. It was good for me too because it mean’t I got to go up in the helicopter, sitting up front with the pilot, and watch my clients jump out. Rather them than me !
First, we took a minibus over to the landing pad and helicopter servicing hangar in the valley, and then my clients got suited up and met their instructors. We then boarded the helicopter (my very first time in one) and I sat next to the pilot, while the two clients were in the back with their tandem masters (instructors). We took off and I have to say it was bloody amazing to be climbing up high over the Swiss alps in this tiny helicopter, no bigger than an average sized family car. As we climbed to 3000 feet with the snow capped mountains just metres away, I thought ‘ Bloody hell, I’m being paid to do this’.
At a given point, the side door was opened and the cold mountain air flooded into the aircraft. Glad I had my warm jacket. The tandem masters shuffled towards the door with my clients looking scared and excited at the same time, and then……… they jumped, disappearing into the clouds. After the second pair had jumped, the side door was still wide open as there was no one left to close it and the wind was rushing in. The Swiss pilot turned to me and asked if I had ever been in a helicopter before? When I said no, he smiled and said ‘I will show you what this thing can do. Make sure your keys and anything else are firmly in your pockets’.
Well, bloody hell, the next ten minutes were spent with him throwing that helicopter around the mountains like a fighter plane, all with that side door behind us wide open. It was like Apocolypse Now as he banked left and right, just metres from the mountain side. It was the best thrill ride I’ve ever been on. I was trying my best to film it all on my phone while trying not to drop it and see it flying out of the open door.
Pretty soon we came into land and my clients were already on the ground unhooking their parachutes and whooping from the adrenaline rush of their jump. We drivers are not allowed to make a jump in case we get injured and cannot drive the coach. The trip leaders however can jump if they wish as it is not so vital if we ‘lose them’.
This is a skydive promo film which gives you an idea what it’s like and some views of the Lautebrunnen valley.
After that fantastic helicopter ride, it was still only midday and when I got back to the site, I had a bite to eat in the cook tent and then had a look over the coach, making sure it was clean and well presented for the next drive day. After that, I had a stroll up to the village for a cup of coffee and cake at the main café (crew rates of course) where they also have free internet so it was time to catch up on some emails and a video call back home.
When I got back to the site, the Royal Marines and some of our clients were playing a volley ball match, the losers having to jump into an ice cold stream near the Reception area and swim through a tunnel under the road outside the camp. Surprisingly, the marines lost the match so they immediately pulled off their tee shirts and jumped into the icy stream. However, some of our Australian and Kiwi clients wanted to show they were also ‘hard enough’ too and they jumped into the stream as well, swimming through the dark tunnel and gaining some respect from the Marines.
Later on, it was dinner time in the cook tent, with the same mucking in as before. Most people piled off to the bar afterwards, but as I had a drive day the next day, I opted for an evening walk to the waterfalls and then early to bed.
DAY 5
Early start as usual, load the luggage, breakfast in the tent, farewells to the chefs and other crews and off we went back through the valley to the motorway. The clients are usually very quiet on this drive day. Two nights in the camp site bar and they’re all nursing very sore heads.
The direct route to Italy is via the motorway and the Gotthard tunnel. However, if the weather is nice, I like to take a mountain pass called the Susten Pass. The pass rises to a height of 2,260 metres and is very winding with several switchbacks. Motor cyclists love this pass as a fantastic ride, but you really don’t want to be getting it wrong on this road as there are very few barriers separating you from a very deep drop. It’s a beautiful drive and really tests you and your braking skills on the descent. I’m normally humming this song to myself as the road in the opening scenes of this film is very similar to Susten.
Unfortunately, only a few of the clients appreciate this beautiful drive as most are nursing hangovers and are unconscious in the back.
The pass brings us back down to the motorway and we make a stop at the last services in Switzerland so the clients can use up their Swiss Francs. There is also lovely croissants and coffee here, free for the drivers of course. Then, it’s off through 16.9 kilometre Gotthard tunnel, and then eventually to the border with Italy.
Our destination today is Florence via a stop in Pisa. We travel via the Milan ring road, Parma and La Spezia and get to Pisa around 4pm where I go into the central coach park to drop off the clients. The trip leader leads them off into the city and I wait for the water man to arrive. He’s an African who pedals up on a push bike and takes your order. I order 72 bottles of mineral water for use on the coach for the crew and clients. We have a fridge on board to keep it cool. Ten minutes later, he pedals back with three cases of water balanced neatly on his handle bars.
With the water stowed, I then drive ten minutes to the fuel station on the main road into Pisa to top up the tank. This will see me through to Munich via Florence, Rome and Venice. I drive back to the coach park and take my break watching a DVD as I wait for the group to return. The heat is normally stifling in Pisa, even in the late afternoon , so I have to keep the air con running.
The group returns from their visit to the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and now it’s onto Florence an hour away, and our night stop. Usually, I can park up at the hostel overnight but due to roadworks, I had to drop the group off and park up by the Firenze football stadium. A quick clean of the coach and then I start the 30 minute walk to the hostel.
At one point, I had to pass through an underground subway where the walls were covered in mural paintings. The subway was deserted, but I could see a bloke dressed all in black, leaning against a wall rolling a cigarette. I stopped and thought ‘■■■■, I’m maybe going to get mugged here for my iphone’ so I stayed where I was. However, he didn’t move, so eventually after a minute I decided to brave it out, tensing myself for a confrontation. As I got closer though, I relaxed. My mugger was actually a painting on the mural. Felt a bit stupid there but also relieved.
On the way, I found a nice pizza restaurant, and being in the suburbs, was free of any squawking tourists so stopped there for my evening meal. Reaching the hostel later, I checked in and then made the ten minute stroll into the city centre. The group and the trip leader had gone off to a karaoke bar. Florence is a lovely city to stroll around, but only in the evening after the mass hordes of tourists have departed for the day. I’m getting used to finding my way around and it’s quite possible to find deserted areas of the city, where you have quaint Italian alleyways with their little balconies and small piazzas with a fountain all to yourself. Of course, the main thing to see in Florence is the beautiful flood lit Duomo cathedral, a true masterpiece of Italian architecture.
I dropped into the bar to see how my clients were getting on with the singing. There were three groups in there and it was packed, but a great atmosphere. I stayed long enough to have one drink and to say hello to the bar staff who know all the TD crew, and then headed back to bed.
DAY 6
Early start again, and breakfast, then a nice morning stroll back to the stadium past my mugger friend to pick up the coach and head back to the hostel to load the bags. By this time of the tour, you know the clients pretty well and they all like to pitch in to help you load the bags on the coach. Departure was not until midday and the group headed into Florence centre for a walking tour while I had to drive to the permit office. To drive a coach in Florence and unload or load, you need to buy a city permit for the day. Having bought the permit, I had the option to park up at the permit office, but I chose to drive to some parking places which are next to a city park and also next to the Arno river.
I went into the park to the café they have there and enjoyed two Cappucino
and some creamy buns as I relaxed in the morning sunshine. I then went and sat beside the Arno river for an hour before heading back to the coach. I had to pick up the group at midday after their walking tour and then drive us to Rome. From experience, I knew the group would be hot so I made sure some water was in the fridge for them.
After the pick up, it was just a three hour drive down to Rome. Just after the toll booths, you pick up the Rome ring road which is known as the Grande Raccordo Anulare or the GRA for short. It is the most bumpy, pot holed ring road you will ever drive on and literally shakes the fittings inside the coach and the fillings loose from your teeth. After surviving the GRA, we pull up outside the main Camping Roma site and the trip leader goes to check in the group while we all stay on the coach, as the clients will be going straight into a Rome walking tour lasting three hours.
With the trip leader back on the coach, we head off into the centre of Rome. Now, driving in Rome is certainly a bit of an experience. You need eyes in the back of your head at all times, as Fiat 500’s , scooters and motorcycles fill any gaps that you are careless enough to leave. You need nerves of steel for that city I can tell you.
Dropping the clients and trip leader off, I head back to the site. It really is a nice place to stay. Accommodation is in cabins, with a really nice swimming pool, bar and restaurant. Crew eat and drink for free but you make sure you put a few euros in the staff tips bowl. I showered and had my dinner with some other TD drivers who were also on the site. However, my working day was not quite over. About 9pm, the trip leader texts to say they are on the way back, and then you drive to the nearest metro station about ten minutes from the camp to pick them up. Back at the camp, you unload the luggage and help the trip leader to give out the cabin keys.
The next day is a day off so my next chance to have a proper drink if I wished. The trip leader had organised a toga party for the group in the bar, but as I don’t look that good wearing nothing but a bedsheet and trainers, I ducked out of that one, preferring to have a drink with the other drivers and watch some of the World Cup footie on the bar wide screen.
DAY 7
My day off so I had a sleep in for a change. Went to have breakfast and then laid beside the pool for the morning. Lunch in the restaurant and then a short siesta took me to 4pm. Then, I decided to head into Rome city centre. Past experience tells me you do not go into Rome before 5pm at the earliest when it is nice and cool. During the day, it is far too hot to walk around and you spend a fortune buying water all day. Much better to go in late afternoon or evening.
I walked down to the Roma Aurellio train station and paid just one euro for the train to Roma Termini. I then spent the evening strolling around the various sights in the evening dusk, and stopping at one of the restaurants that makes good food, and also offers reduced rates to TD crew. The one thing I miss at times like this though is the company of my wife. It’s a shame to walk around Rome by yourself and not have the company of the one you love. Ah well….
I caught the metro and city bus back to the site and more or less went straight to bed. Another long drive day tomorrow.
DAY 8
We loaded the bags up in the morning, and then set off, this time to Venice via a pit stop in Verona for them to see the Romeo and Juliet balcony and the Verona Arena. Another bone rattling ride around the GRA and then the autostrada through the Tuscan countryside past Bologna to the city of Verona. I parked up at the coach park in sweltering heat as usual, and the group trooped into Verona. I could’ve gone into the city with them but I’ve been several times so I bought a cup of coffee and chose to stay on the coach with the air con and watch another DVD.
The group came back, and then it was roughly a two hour drive to the camp site in Mestre just outside Venice. This site is similar to Rome, in that it has cabins, pool, bar and restaurant. However, it also has a TD cook tent with chefs so we eat well again for our two night stay. Similar to Lautebrunnen, the crew all mucks in together.
Our first night there was memorable , because the bar was packed watching England play in the World Cup. Unfortunately, it was the night when England dropped out and another dream was lost. Afterwards, there was a pool party. In the evenings, it is so warm in Venice that you can easily go into the pool, so it was a mad party for the clients with a live band playing beside the pool and lots of drinking by the clients. The next day was a day off for me so I had a drink, but not too much as I wanted to go into Venice the next day with a clear head. I also stayed out of the pool !
DAY 9
Woke up early and had breakfast. The group were going into Venice for their walking tour and I chose to go with them. A shuttle bus is organised from the site and takes you over the Venetian causeway bridge to the island of Venice to a place called Trochetto where the cruise ships moor up. You then take a People Mover monorail train for the seven minute ride into the city. The trip leader started her walking tour and I stayed at the back to ensure no stragglers got lost in the tiny alleyways of Venice. Again, it was a beautiful day to be walking around and it was nice to be walking with the group. By this stage of the tour, you are more like a friend than just the ‘bus driver’.
After the tour, we took a break in St Marks Square and then the whole group including myself boarded a fleet of Gondolas that had been arranged.
After, the Gondolas it was a free afternoon and I went off to find my favorite restaurant that I found by accident once down some tiny alley. They don’t charge the usual hyped up tourist prices, reflected in the fact that it’s mainly Italians eating there. The only way I can ever find it again is to use google maps to navigate to the hotel a few doors down. I’ve no idea what the restaurant is called or what the name of the alleyway is.
After lunch, I had a stroll along the Grand Canal before heading to the monorail in time to catch the shuttle bus to the site. Back at the site, it was almost time for dinner in the cook tent, and then a couple of soft drinks and early to bed for another drive day.
DAY 10
BREAKDOWN DAY !
Early breakfast, and then bring the coach round to the front to load the bags, ready for our drive day to Munich via the Brenner Pass. Some more sore heads amongst the clients as we set off back towards Verona, and then make a right onto the main autostrada leading to Austria.
Now, for the past few days, the coach had been losing some water and I’d had to keep the radiator topped up, but I couldn’t see where it was going to. It was just small amounts so I wasn’t too worried. However, as we climbed up the Brenner, the temperature gauge began to rise into the red and the warning alarms went off. Bugger ! We managed to limp into an Italian service station with the alarm still dinging away and I opened up the engine lockers. This time I could clearly see the leak. Hot water and coolant shooting through a pin hole in the coolant hose.
I got the tool box out but there was no spare hose or wrapping hose tape to be found. Bugger ! However, one of the guys said, ‘Hey, I have some gaffer tape in my suitcase. My dad told me it’s always useful to carry gaffer tape, you never know when you might need it’. Well, we certainly needed it now. Thanks dad !
Then……. one of the blonde girls who you think wouldn’t know one end of an engine from another, or would be too scared to break a nail, said ‘Stand back, I’ve got this’. She then proceeded to lean into the engine compartment, isolate the water, loosen the jubilee clips, took the hose off, and expertly wrapped the gaffer tape around the hose making a water proof seal, before putting it all back together, and then promptly throwing up into a nearby bush because she was still hungover from the night before.
Turns out she drives one of those Caterpillar earth movers in a quarry back in Australia and was used to working on big engines. Well, her expert repair saw the coach finishing the tour and saving the coach company a fair bit of money in call out fees. I made sure she and the gaffer tape guy had a few beers that night in Munich.
So, after topping up the water and coolant, we were off again after only a 45 minute delay and the coach was singing. After a nice scenic drive through Austria, we arrived in Munich late afternoon. We checked the group into the hostel and then I dropped them into the city centre for their walking tour. After the drop off, I went to the fuel station to fuel up. This station only has car pumps and takes a good twenty minutes to fill up, so I had a freebie coffee and scrolled though my phone.
From the fuel station, it was time to park up for the night near to the grounds where the Oktoberfest is held every year. After cleaning the coach, I walked back to the hostel, stopping in a Chinese restaurant on the way. I could’ve gone into the city centre but I’d been on the previous tour so wasn’t too bothered.
Saw some of the clients in the bar back at the hostel and bought some beers for the blonde mechanic and her gaffer tape assistant, and then early to bed for another drive day.
DAY 11
Loaded up the coach, ready for the drive day to Prague via Dachau concentration camp. It’s about an hour’s drive to Dachau, and on the way, you pass through a suburb of Munich that is totally dominated by the MAN bus and truck company. There is the factory of course, plus massive compounds filled with dozens of MAN trucks, coaches and buses all neatly parked. There is the MAN head office, also an experience centre where I believe you can go on works tours, and a gift shop, plus MAN sponsored schools, colleges and sports centre in the immediate area. It’s like a whole suburb dedicated to MAN. As I drive a TGX, I would love to have a look around but have never gotten the chance yet unfortunately.
Dachau Concentration Camp, a sobering experience. Every time I go there and have a look around, it’s hard to imagine what went on in that place and several clients will usually come out ashen faced and maybe wiping away some tears, having witnessed in pictures and evidence of man’s inhumanity to man.
I will say nothing more but it’s well worth a visit.
After Dachau, we headed down the autobahn and crossed into the Czech Republic. Once you cross the border you sort of feel that you’ve crossed into Eastern Europe. The landscape, architecture and even the road signage take on an Eastern feel. A loud cheer went up from the clients when the trip leader told them that the service station we were stopping at had a KFC. As soon as we stopped, they ran inside to gorge themselves on finger lickin’ chicken.
It was another hour or so to Prague and we arrived mid afternoon. The route we drive in always gets the clients gasping as they see the city of Prague for the first time as we cross the bridge over the Vltava river. It really is a beautiful city.
I dropped the group in the city centre for their walking tour, and then drove to the hostel, cleaned the coach and had a welcome shower. The trip leader texted to say they were walking back from the metro station and I went down to the coach, ready to unload the luggage. We then had inclusive dinner in the restaurant and then I hung around the bar area. The next day was my day off and there were also five other TD coaches that were in so I had a nice chat with the other drivers.
DAY 12.
Had a few too many beers the previous night so had a nice long lie in. Had some lunch and then continued to hang around the hostel with the other drivers watching World Cup footie on the bar tv. The trip leader had organised an optional dinner in a Medieval restaurant in the city centre that night, so about 6pm we all headed out on the tram, and then walked through the quaint traffic free streets through the centre.
Now, I’m not normally into these faux medieval night places, but I have to say this one was really good. The band was made up of these hulking giant blokes sporting straggly beards, wearing bearskins and other medieval stuff and playing haunting style music on traditional style instruments.
The acts consisted of a conjuror, a sword swallower, some Czech style belly dancers, and a provocatively dressed woman with a snake. The places that snake could get into around the woman was amazing to watch. The crew eat free.
I had a drive day the next day so left the restaurant early so I could have a quick wonder around town and over the Charles bridge to the old town before heading back. Again, in a lovely city like this, you sort of miss the company of your wife and wish she was there to enjoy it too. I took a tram back that definitely dated from the Cold War era but unfortunately missed my stop, and had to spend 40 minutes walking through the suburbs, hoping the battery wouldn’t die and lose me google maps as well.
When I got back to the hostel, there was some sort of barbecue going on in the coach parking area. There was an elderly coach from Moldova or somewhere parked up and the drivers and passengers were enjoying a late evening get together. The music that was playing and the whole scene as they sat around reminded me of this memorable segment from the film Kelly’s Heroes.
DAY 13
Drive day to Berlin via a stop in Dresden. Took about two hours to Dresden. Another very beautiful city and hard to imagine it was flattened in WW2. Dropped the group at the coach park and they went off on their usual walking tour. There were two other TD drivers in so we strolled into the city to have some Currywurst and chips. The Currywurst is served with different levels of hot sauce. 1 being the mildest and 5 I think being the hottest. I went for a 2 but one of the other drivers went for a 5. His face went bright red and he had to drink a litre of Coke to try and cool his mouth, but give him his due, he finished the meal.
Back at the coach park, we set off for Berlin, about two or three hours away. On the way into the city, we stopped at the Soviet War Memorial in Treptow park. Well worth a visit if you’re ever in Berlin. Then, we went straight into the driving tour, taking in the Berlin Wall, Brandenburg Gate, Checkpoint Charlie, Reichstag etc, and then back to the hostel for unloading and an inclusive dinner. The hostel is in the former East Berlin so I took an evening stroll to the remains of the wall and along the banks of the river Spree. Had a few drinks with the clients back in the hostel bar then off to bed.
DAY 14
After breakfast, I did a drop off into the city for the group near the Brandenburg Gate and then went off to the fuel station to top up the tank. This would see us back to London via Amsterdam.
Went back to the hostel and had a morning siesta before heading into the city for a walking tour by myself. It’s amazing to see the Berlin wall close up. It’s only the thickness of your forearm but separated a city for thirty odd years. Went onto Alexanderplatz for some more Curreyworst, and then walked to the Brandenburg Gate, the ■■■■ Reichstag building, and then to the Topgraphy of Terror which was the location for the Gestapo Interrogation rooms.
After three hours, I had enough walking and headed back to the hostel for dinner and an early night. Long driving day tomorrow to Amsterdam.
DAY 15
This day is a long driving day to Amsterdam. Nothing much of interest to see. Mostly autobahn to the Dutch border via Hannover and Osnabruck. At least we had the company of another TD coach heading to Amsterdam so we drove in convoy. It’s always nice to cross the Dutch border as I know that I’ll be seeing my family very soon. We headed into Amsterdam and I dropped the group at the hostel. I wouldn’t see them again until the next evening as I had to take the coach back to Zeeland for servicing and was going to stop two nights at home which is on the way to Zeeland. I got out of Amsterdam as quickly as I could and was home indoors within an hour, the coach parked at the HGV park where I normally park my truck. It was great to see my wife and kids again.
DAY 16
Very early start as I wanted to beat the rush hour around Rotterdam, and got to the coach company yard in Zeeland by 8am. Of course in Holland, no work starts until the first cup of coffee has been drunk, so I sat with the coach company gaffers and the mechanics in the staff room. Then, the mechanics went down to check the roadside repairs to the coolant hose and put a new hose in, plus deal with any other defects that I had noted down. The mechanics were very impressed with Blondie’s handywork, and I made a video of them thanking her for the repair to play to her later that evening.
I sat down and relaxed while the coach was being cleaned and serviced, and finished off some paperwork. 11am saw me heading back to my home town where I would park the coach overnight and spend another night home in the comfort of my own bed. I managed to get a nice photo of the coach parked next to my allocated truck.
I spent the rest of the afternoon at home but then had to head into Amsterdam. The last night of the tour is always a dinner boat cruise around the city canals, and where the trip leader and driver make farewell speeches to the clients. It was a lovely sunny evening for the cruise and I’m pleased to say I got some cheers and whoops from the group when I made my speech.
After the cruise, the group made their way to one of the many bars for a last night ■■■■ up and I headed home.
DAY 17
Final drive day, back to London. Quite a few of the group left the tour in Amsterdam so there was only about twenty clients left, with very sore heads. It’s quite a boring drive back to Calais, via Belgium, and then when you reach Calais, that’s when all the fun starts with the Border Agency. God knows what it will be like when Brexit kicks in.
Caught a mid afternoon ferry and we were back into London for about 5pm, with some emotional farewells going on between the clients as I unloaded the bags for the last time, and then more hugs as they each said goodbye to me. The trip leader stayed at the hostel.
Then, it was a case of fighting the rush hour traffic along the A40 Westway to the fuel station in West London for the final top up, and then up to the coach yard in North London for the final clean out and handover check list for the next tour driver that would be taking the coach.
An Uber saw me to the hotel for 8pm, a quick takeaway, and bed for a good nights kip.
LAST DAY
The company arranged for my travel back to the Netherlands, so it was an early start on the London Underground to St Pancras International, then the Eurostar train to Brussels, then the Thalys TGV to Rotterdam, and finally a local train to my home town. Home indoors for 3pm with my feet up and loving family around me. Just two days later saw me on another long road trip, but this time it was in the car on the family holiday to the South of France.
Well, hopefully you found this diary interesting to see the other side? Just to emphasise, the job is not all fun fun fun every day. It can be hard and stressful navigating across Europe and in various cities. You also have to deal with the various escapades that the clients sometimes get themselves in to. However, when it’s all going right, it is fun and you do get some nice perks that make the job worthwhile.
I have to say though, I’m glad I only did two trips and not a full season. It was good to get back to the quiet routine of my truck.
Just a few words about the trip leaders. It is definitely something I could not do. The amount of work they have to put in to ensure the tour runs well and the amount of historical knowledge they have to know to conduct the city tours is amazing. I totally take my hat off to them.
When I get time, I’ll put up some photos to accompany the diary to try and give you a visual on everything.
Thanks for reading !
I really enjoyed reading this post it was a breath of fresh air giving a lot of us a great insight into another part of our great heritage of road transport