any driver ever said something and it comes back to them,i drive to melksham every Friday on a trailer swap,week before last the A350 was closed because 3 or 4 cars near J17/ M4 hit each other,i had a D/D attached and had to go via some country lanes to get back to the M4,this week I came off J17 going to melksham via the A350 looked at where the accident was and thought to myself lets have no bloody cars hitting each other today,everything went fine until I came out of melksham to the estate where I pick the trailer up from,massive jam and up ahead blue lights,sure enough a bloody car had hit another up the rear on a single track road,all I could think to myself was ME AND MY BIG MOUTH,famous last words and all,in 1999 I said to my dad that I had never been involved in an accident on the motorway,my dad replied don’t tempt fate,i laughed it off,6 months later my wagon was written off just outside luton on the M1 when I was stationary and another hit me from behind at around 40 to 50 mph pushing me into the hgv in front[sandwich jobbie]as I said famous last words,one day I might learn to keep my mouth shut
“Whatch that daft bugger, he’ll have somebody’s eye out” King Harold #famouslastwords.
“infamy infamy they’ve all got it in for me” 
Have you noticed how problems always come in threes?
Count three problems, zero your meter, count three again. It`s true!
Always makes me nervous when a copper is near me…this is because in the last 5 years I’ve had 3 people hit my car whilst I was stationary,and every time it was wittinessed by a copper who happened to be there at the time 
Saying that they do make very credible witnesses
“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distan . . .” ‘John Sedgwick’ Gettysburg 1863.
And the “magician” / illusionist who correctly predicted his own death date?
He wrote his death date, the day before his actual death, in a signed sealed envelope deposited at his bank.
An absolutely 100% correct prediction.
He is not remembered so much for the 1,238 incorrect death date predictions he also made previously.
I won’t get married again…famous last words. 
i said that twice 
wont make the same mistake again 
I won’t ■■■ in your mouth…
“Yeah JC, jump the barrier, you’ll be fine, we all do it”
W.T.F. was that bang ?. Emperor Hirohita.
So you’re telling me this won’t hurt? Ok.
OHH frick - anon
“I can assure you there is not a hurricane on he way”.
I recall a mechanic at a co I drove for years back, saying “lets see what develops”
This was after me saying the engine doesn"t sound right.
Two days later. i was towed back from Plymouth.
Hold on to my beer and watch THIS for driving.
Dipper_Dave:
I won’t ■■■ in your mouth…
Don’t worry ! 
“What a cute baby bear. I wonder where its mother is?”
“Is that gun loaded?”
“Wonder what this button does?”
“Dont worry, I know what im doing. Ive seen a youtube video”
“Oh come on. Dont tell me youre all afraid of a few indians?” - General Custer
“Oh a ham sandwich. My favourite” - Cass Elliot
Hang on, I know just how to sort this rubbish picture out. Rod Hull.
Dont go putting me on a pedestal,Horatio Nelson.