Truckers latenight 'services'

I was parked up in a small layby on the A449, just up from the M4 tonight… Only truck in the layby, and parked near the far end…

Anyway, this pug206 pulls up infront of me, even tho there’s hardly any room… Then she REVERSES right up to the front of the cab…
“Great” i’m thinking… “That’s gonna make pullin away easier… NUMPTY…”

Then the lights go to side lights and the brake lights keep flashing on…

“What are they playing at” I was thinking… I was trying to watch ‘Law and order’ on the PDA and her high level brake light was really annoying…

Then the interior light comes on and she starts brushing her hair, and I notice she’s wearing a really strappy top… !!!

The penny is starting to drop…

As the interior light goes off, I noticed a red light on the dash that was covered with a tissue which made it glow quite obviously…!!!

Anyway, this went on for 20 odd minutes… The light going on and off whilst she leaned over to the passenger seat, or did her lippy… Still occasionally flashing the brake lights…

I spent the whole time trying to think up some witty remark for when she knocked on the door, but alas, she didn’t get out of her car… Which was probably for the best… Cuz I hadn’t thought of a quick come-back, nor wanted her within 6ft for fear of catching something…

So then she drove off, and I started to think that maybe I was just being daft… Altho icould think of no good reason for her actions… !!

So off I went 10mins later and thought i’d just check the next layby, and what do you know…

One truck, one pug, parked 2 feet from his front bumper…

How do they do it to themselves… or more to the point, to YOU big hairy truckers… (flak jacket on… )

If you’re interested, it was a blue pug, CE54 ■■■… She can’t be doin too bad either, wot with a new car…

Luv
Chrisie…
(Mods - I tried to keep it worded an innocently as poss, but on reflection, maybe it should be in ‘bullies’…)

Hey Chrisie I must have passed you depending on time. Also which way were you headed? I run down the M4 then A449 at about 10.15 every weeknight. White Actros with a Palletline double decker. You might be the first TN member I get to eyeball

Would have been embarrassing for you Chrisie if she had knocked on your door
gardun, look out for the Bannister trucks, in a few months we start doing collections down that way, White Axors and trailers with "Bannister scribbled across the side.

One of our drivers was having his break in the very same spot,
and some bloke kept walking past his cab & looking up to him,
after a few times the said driver had enough
so put his window down and said
“do you want something mate” to which came the reply
“iam looking for some adult fun”
The back door trader soon took off after our driver explained,
that if he got out of his cab there would only be one of them having adult fun.
That said though we usually run up as far as Hereford now
for coffee at the 24hr garage,a much safer bet.

as in the words of the kinks song " the he was a she" well probably anyway {and no i,m not speaking from experience }

i think i meant the “she was a he” ohhhh you no wot i mean

when will people learn that DIY is cheaper than getting someone in

Must be said, ‘she’ had shoulder muscles as big as mine… Altho it’s probably fair to say, she does as much hard work as me… !!!

I’ll keep an eye out for you Gardun and Zorba… … it was about 22:45, Northbound, goin back to base…
IIRC I’m sure it was a Bannisters truck I followed down earlier on… Was it you Z…■■

AFAIK i’m the only tewkes driver who has a ‘sucker’ on the window for my GPS, and obviously, there’s the red hair… So wave if ya see me…

I’m out tonight, probably Chippenham and Calne… Maybe a 2nd run to Malmesbury too… Hopefully I won’t be bumping into our roadside mistress… !!!

Luv
Chrisie…

chrisie,
you could have got out and knocked on her door and asked if she fancied a good time. the look on her face would have been priceless.
then again ,she might have called your bluff .
those are the days when u wish you had a blinged up truck with plenty of spotlights. light the pug up for everyone to see…

My dad was in the market place in Barton, which itself is only a small town and a Filipino woman approached him and said “do you want business?” to which my dad responded “how much will you pay me?”…that wasn’t the response she was expecting, she walked away with a very shocked and confused look about her.

A true story…

About 6 months ago,3 of our drivers were parked in a certain area of Doncaster,and 1 of them is the proverbial know-it-all.

Anyhow,come retiring time,and after a few sherbets,the other 2 had got slightly fed up of his been there,seen that,got the t-shirt shenanigans,when they hit upon a very funny wheeze.

They got a large piece of cardboard,and got another driver to write the following,upon which they sellotaped it to the front of his truck:

I want business,but please knock hard,as I’m slightly deaf.

Needless to say,he didn’t get much sleep,and couldn’t work out who would do such a thing,as it wasn’t written in the style of the other 2.

Ken.

zorba:
look out for the Bannister trucks, in a few months we start doing collections down that way, white Axors and trailers with “Bannister” scribbled across the side…

No, you don’t say! Bannister trucks with “Bannister” scribbled across the side…! What will they think of next?

I ought to send a copy of your comment to Martin or Roger (Bannisters’ management), you wouldn’t hear the last of it!

I digress! A few years ago, I worked with a guy called “Pervy Mick” who kept loads of contact mags in his cab for when he was tramping. He used to say that the first large layby from the M4, on the A449 northbound (the one with the toilets), had a white Cavalier turn up every night at around 1830hrs. The occupants (husband and wife) would apparently persuade anyone parked there to show the wife a good time whilst the husband watched!

I don’t know how true it was but judging from the 4 photo albums he had in his cab containing photos of him in various positions, with numerous different women, I had no reason to disbelieve him!

Also, in northern Germany (you don’t get it quite so much in the south) there is a phenomena called “layby lils”! A woman pulls up in a camper van and sells certain personal services to truckers nighting out on that particular parking area. Never seen it first hand but I’ve heard plenty of stories about them - honest…!

Quinny:
About 6 months ago, 3 of our drivers were parked in a certain area of Doncaster…

It wasn’t anywhere near the wholesale market, was it?

Yes this is quite normal in Germany and has been for years, but you
will find more and more young ladies of the night work in daylight and on many of the main country roads,upinthe northern half of germany down south is very rare to see,Most of those are regerstired and do pay tax so
the do have apermit to carrry out there employment.

Your doing a grand job Chrisie highlighting why there are still so few women truckers with your tales of breaks interupted by tarts and [zb]'s hanging off your door all we need is the a few more tales and there might be better understanding as to why female truckers have such attitudes. wouldn’t it be funny to turn the tables for a while and have this lot eating their butties looking at walls adorned with bronze slim muscular bronze males frollicking on the beach! mmmmmmmmmmm sorry my attention drifted slightly there.

Ladytrucker679:
it be funny to turn the tables for a while and have this lot eating their butties looking at walls adorned with bronze slim muscular bronze males frollicking on the beach! mmmmmmmmmmm sorry my attention drifted slightly there.

You are assuming that some male drivers wouldn’t like that. Given the number of trucks displaying blue lights, well know sign the driver is gay and proud to advertise it, it may be not just you who is getting distracted and dropping bits of butty down their front.

Coffeeholic:

Ladytrucker679:
it be funny to turn the tables for a while and have this lot eating their butties looking at walls adorned with bronze slim muscular bronze males frollicking on the beach! mmmmmmmmmmm sorry my attention drifted slightly there.

You are assuming that some male drivers wouldn’t like that. Given the number of trucks displaying blue lights, well know sign the driver is gay and proud to advertise it, it may be not just you who is getting distracted and dropping bits of butty down their front.

I’m not presuming that at all coffee it is well documented how well women and gay men get on and I have had some class conversations about the surrounding talent with the blue light brigade!

Ah the old GBF thing. Nice one LT.

Women are near to the knuckle when they start but the blue light boys are great fun.

It is my opinion that these people are suffering from from some kind of mental illness.
How do I know this:-

Because even I have been approached (Wisley gardens A3)

Now I’ve heard of wanting a “bit of rough” but this would be taking that theory to extremes

I’d rather go without than go with 'owt

Wisley is a well know dogging spot. My mate, the dogger, goes there a lot to meet a couple in a camper van, he tells me they have changed the parking a bit to try to knock it on the head. The dogging that is.