rtbot.net/play.php?id=Xv1tMioGgXI
I hope the link works
I was laughing out loud to that - good find 
Brilliant. 
I’m sure the song was written for me!
What song?
That is just great! Thanks for the link Brian, what a clever little song. You gotta laugh, even though it rings true.
Very good Im pleased you put it on, Its reminds me of someone■■?, but I cant remember Ha Ha, Regards Larry.
That’s brilliant
Boy I can relate to that, have a look at this.
youtube.com/watch?v=-mxdim_6PUI
it creases me up every time I watch it.
oily
sat here howling at that brilliant!
It’s good to have a laugh. I’ve had a thought, there are no pictures of Harry on here…are there■■?
oiltreader:
Boy I can relate to that, have a look at this.
youtube.com/watch?v=-mxdim_6PUIit creases me up every time I watch it.
oily
Cheers tachograph, that’s better, I’m off to hone my computer skills 
oily
The Yanks refer to Jack ■■■■■■ quite a lot and one a bit curious as to where he orginated got him digging on a genealogy website and he came up with the following:—
Jack ■■■■■■ is the only son of Awe ■■■■■■ the fertilizer magnate who married O. ■■■■■■ who was the owner of Needeep N. ■■■■■■ , Inc., in turn Jack ■■■■■■ married Noe Crap, now Noe ■■■■■■, they had six kids, Holie ■■■■■■, Giva ■■■■■■, Fulla ■■■■■■, Bull ■■■■■■ and twins Deep ■■■■■■ and Watt ■■■■■■, against his parents wishes Deep ■■■■■■ married a chinese girl called Dum, now Dum ■■■■■■.
Deep and Dum ■■■■■■ had a son who they called Loda. Fulla ■■■■■■ and Giva ■■■■■■ were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony, they were now known as the ■■■■■■-Happens and had children Dawg, Byrd and Horse.
Bull ■■■■■■ travelled the world and meeting his bride to be in Italy, who became Pisa ■■■■■■.
Next time someone says “You don’t know Jack ■■■■■■” well you do.
Cheers
Oily
B loody hell oily, where did you find that? I’ve just spilled my coffee laughing at that.
grumpy old man:
B loody hell oily, where did you find that? I’ve just spilled my coffee laughing at that.
I did at one time contribute to a motor caravanning forum and there was a guy (a deep sea diver) on there who was an absolute mine of joke material. all gathered from mates around the globe. I will have a look and see if he is still contributing, anyway I have a wee stock of laughs to be going on with.
Paddy and his wife were finding it hard to get to sleep one night because of the neighbour’s dog barking in the garden. Paddy says “To hell wi’ this” and stormed off downstairs, 5 mins later he was back in bed and his wife said “What did you do” he replied " I’ve put their dog in our garden, let’s see how they like it".
and with interests of racial equality in mind
Jock arrived home from the boozer, paralytic and with a pig under his arm, his missus said “Wherrrrrrrrrrre the fun did ya get that” he said “affa a wee man doon the pub” his wife said “we live in a flat for funs sake”, “No worries he said, “Its gaun in the spare bedroom” , she said “What about the stink” Jock replied " He’ll get used to it”.
oily
Hey Brian we’re still on page one , not good enough, where are all the comics out there, here’s another prod.
This guy is getting deeper in the brown stuff, it’s get even time for his not so beloved.
The Garda pulls over a speeding car.
The Garda says “I clocked you doing 120 km/h sir.”
The driver says “Jasus, Guard I had it on cruise control at 100, your radar gun needs calibrating.”
Not looking up from knitting, wee wifie says “Now don’t be silly dear, you know this car does’t have a cruise control.”
As the officer writes a ticket, the driver glowers at wifie and growls, “Can’t you keep your mouth shut for once.”
She smiled back demurely and said “You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.”
The officer writes a second ticket for the illegal radar detector and the driver says to wifie “■■■■■■■ kep yer mouth shut.”
The officer said “I will also have to book you for not wearing a seat belt, that’s an automatic fine of 80euros”.
The driver said " I took off the belt so’s I could get my licence from my pocket."
Wifie said “You know you never wear a seat belt when you’re driving.”
As the patient Garda officer was writing the third ticket the man had another go at his wife, calling her a few choice names.
The officer looked at the woman and asked " Does your husband always talk to you in this manner.
Wee wifie says.
“Only when he has been drinking”
A driver stays overnight in this country village and in the pub he pulls a lovely young country girl. He goes back to her place and after the obligotary coffee and small talk they rip each others clothes of and begine making passionate love. Suddenly the driver feels something hard and cold in the back of his head and as he turns he sees the girls father holding a shot gun to his head. The girls dad says " If you are a carefull driver I bet you can back right out of there without loosing your load"
Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers 'Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘give us this day our daily coffee.’
The Pope responds, ‘That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord. It must not be changed.’
‘Well,’ said the Nescafe man, ‘we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million.’
‘My son, it is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not be changed.’
The Nescafe guy says, ‘Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer…. We will
Donate $500 million - that’s half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘give us this day our daily coffee.’ Please consider it.’
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
‘There is some good news,’ he announces, ‘and some bad news. The good news is that the Church will come into $500 million.’
‘And the bad news your Holiness?’ asks a Cardinal.
‘We’re losing the Hovis account.’
The phone rings and the wife answers
A pervert with heavy breathing says " I bet you have a tight arse with no hair"
Woman replies " Yes, he’s watching telly, who shall I say is calling"
Oily